I Will Not Suffer In Silence

Friday - had emotional meltdown due to lack of sugar in diet and onset of PMS and stress over being unemployed. That same day, I got an email from a company my friend works for, asking me what my availability is for interviewing with them. I’d had a phone interview on Monday the 24th (forgot to tell ya about that), and I was not feeling too confident about how it all went. Firstly, I wasn’t looking for that job. My friend told me to send him my resume so I did. Few days later, phone call pop quiz on what I know about junior system administration and tech support. It was a neat call and I giggled when I got answers right because it’s been so long since I’ve done some of this stuff. I shrugged after the call - since I wasn’t expecting to get that job, I won’t be disappointed if I get rejected. Then on Friday the 28th they emailed me. I set up an appointment for May 13.

Monday - woke up to find my neck/shoulder went out again. So now we’re up to four times in the past 12 months (November, February, March, May). Spent all day on 800mg Ibuprofen. Also spent the day trying to configure a Macintosh monitor for a PC running Linux to no avail. That evening, I got a frantic call. I sped to SF and spent 4 hours in hospital E.R. with friend who had complications to her medication, then spent another 4 hours sitting with her at home to make sure she was okay. Took a muscle relaxer that night for the neck pain/stiffness.

Tuesday - emergency appointment with masseuse to beat the knot out of my shoulder. Slept most of the rest of the day. Still couldn’t tilt my head to the left or look over my left shoulder.

Wednesday - Had a date with the boyfriend (so one good ray of sunshine this week!). Also, still couldn’t tilt my head to the left or look over my left shoulder.

Thursday - Cleaned the house due to XXTREME NESTING as a result of PMS. Went to pick up my friend at train station, got lost. While trying to get my bearings, car overheated for the first time ever. Had to stop at a gas station for 40 mins to let it cool down. Added antifreeze and water, which drained out. Kept adding anyway - maybe it’ll hold a couple miles. Car cooled down - fired ‘er back up, drove a couple miles, overheated again, stalling this time right in front of a train station. Not the same station my friend was at though, so she got back on the train and came to the stop I was at. Called another friend who picked us up and dropped us at my place. I just left my car at the station overnight.
My back HAD started to feel better until the stress of being late for my friend, then my car dying twice hit me. So I went right back to not being able to tilt my head to the left, and looking over my left shoulder was quite difficult.
One bit of good news Thursday night was that my friend gave me a 19″ monitor for my linux box (the other one died a few months back and the mac monitor wouldn’t configure correctly). I took a muscle relaxer for the pain last night.

Friday - Boyfriend dropped me at nearest train station. Took train to station where my car was parked. No harm to it overnight - good. Still won’t start. Called for a tow. The towing was free, thanks to me getting good insurance coverage. Got towed back to the island, where I left the car again, and walked a mile and a half (2km) home. Experienced mild cramps as I walked because george is due to arrive today, but I was pleasantly distracted by all the Victorian mansions along Grand Avenue. When I grow up, I want to live in one of those homes!

So now I’m waiting to hear back from the auto shop. They look really busy so it could be a couple days. That’s fine, since I expect to be bedridden within the next 24 hours anyway due to george. Good timing in that I don’t have a job, but I have to have transportation to the job interview next Friday.

Oh, and of course, I still can’t tilt my head to the left or look over my left shoulder.

The sugar cravings in the past two days have escalated. Thankfully, Atkins protein bars taste so bad that it’s taken me three days to consume the first one.

Last week I’d bought a handful of those bars, anticipating sugar cravings associated with the diet itself and PMS.

I’d like to state for the record that sucralose tastes NASTY.

I’d also like to state for the record that I am NOT on an Atkins Diet. I only bought some of the protein bars because they don’t contain sugar.
On the yeast-free diet, it is suggested to limit one’s carb intake to 15 grams per meal, but I find that damned near impossible. So I’ve just been paying attention to the carbs and limiting as much as possible, but I’m not going through induction.
The yeast-free diet is nothing like the Atkins diet at all, which I mockingly call the “cheese and meat” diet. I’m quite opposed to the Atkins diet, as I’ve seen several friends go on that diet, and within a year come off the diet and gain all the weight and then some back.

And anyway, the yeast-free diet isn’t a weight loss diet like Atkins is. The yeast-free diet is to purge the body of yeast/fungus overgrowth which has led to other illnesses in the body. It’s a means of detoxification and healing.

I hope to heal up my foot fungus issues, the eczema on some of my fingers and the half-dollar-sized rash on my chest - all which haven’t gone away since 2001.

I honestly blame the usage of anti-depressants back then for the yeast overgrowth. It took me until this year to figure out that all the above conditions were linked. Once I linked them all and went back in time as to how long I’ve had these issues, the only thing I could pin it on was the SSRI’s. I searched rxlist.com for all three of the SSRI’s I’d been on between 2000 and 2002, and sure enough, all of them listed eczema and dermatitis as side effects, but only the Paxil listed fungal dermatitis as an additional side effect. There’s the culprit. I was on Paxil for months.

I have been off SSRI’s and anxiety medications since 2002. The only medication I take is for my monthly pain, and when my back goes out.

Of course, the big thing I’m hoping for in this diet is that the menstrual pain subsides, but I’ve come to realise after doing my research on the yeast-overgrowth is that while it lends to one’s menstrual pain, it’s not the cause of it, unless I’ve had yeast overgrowth since age 15, which I haven’t. My feet and hands and chest were fine and pretty until 2001, for example.

I’ve got so many negative things to say about SSRIs and the Atkins diet today. They deserve it. Bastards.

Anyway, back to food stuff in general:

I bought sugar free Westsoy soymilk, both regular and vanilla. The vanilla is tasty and does the trick in making me think I’m drinking something sugary.
(I also did a taste test of Westsoy sugar free regular soymilk and Trader Joe’s sugar free soymilk, and they both taste nearly identical. So I’m making the switch from rice milk, which has a high carb content, back to soymilk for awhile).

There’s also Crystal Geyser brand flavoured carbonated water - purportedly sugar free. It’s good but tastes sinful so I dunno if it’s truly sugar free or not. ;)
It lists as ingredients “fruit juice essence”, which if I have it right is a fine distillation of fruit juice, removing the pulp and keeping the flavour in a fine spray that’s injected into the beverage along with the carbonation process.
Being as I’m not supposed to have fruit right now either, I wonder if drinking Crystal Geyser is okay or not…

What I’m really craving are baked goods. I could really go for some cookies and cake, and some biscuits and gravy, please!!!
And then I want eight pints of Ben & Jerry’s Vermonty Python ice cream. And I also want four bags of “Natural” Cheetos. Oh and I’d love a couple pounds of Ghirardelli or Sees or Sanders or Lindt milk chocolate!

aiiiieeeee….