Stress mounting
At work today my boss pulled me aside and:
- wanted to know what my surgeon had said on Friday, and wanted to let me know that she’ll need me to let the CEO’s new right-hand-man know about my health condition in a bid to try to work something out to keep me
- wanted to let me know that she was disappointed to not see my resume for an internal job that’s opening up - for the email-support-only team. The internal job offering closed yesterday.
I told her:
- There’s nothing more my surgeon can do since hormones didn’t work, and sure, no problem, I’ll tell Mr. Guy all about my condition, no problem.
- Sorry, but I’ve been BEDRIDDEN ALL WEEK. Submitting a resume was the last thing on my mind.
Hell, I don’t even want to be at that company anymore. I purposefully didn’t submit my damned resume. As it was, my boss told me she’ll “break convention” and take my resume, even though HR closed the offering internally. Rather than admit to her that I don’t want to stick around, I handed my resume to her.
I started off the day without george, but after lunch he returned. I had cramps and hot flashes and wondered if I should go home. But I stuck it out because if I would have taken yet another day, it’d be one more nail in the coffin of my employment there, sooner than expected. Why not take it? I dunno. Stubborn, I guess. Or stupid retarded.
I got home and there was a message on the machine - it was the doctor’s office saying they WON’T write me a note excusing me for three days of work this week - that now I have to come in for an appointment before they’ll give me any note at all.
Fecking lovely. Well there’s the final nail in the coffin. If I can’t get an appointment for this Saturday, then I don’t have a note, and if I don’t have a note, then each day off work counts as one incident each and I’m as good as fired. I’ve got one incident on record from last month already. I have a total of three. After three they can fire me.
Tonight my man took me out to a low-key dinner. I drove so he could have a drink, because his job is now talking job cuts.
I can’t handle all this stress. My forehead is broken out again fresh this week with over a dozen zits, and my left thumb looks like leprosy again - eczema from stress or diet or both. I told my man I not only want to quit my job, I don’t want to take another job. And he can’t afford to take care of me. I asked him, if he got laid-off work today, could he make rent and bills next month?
No, he can’t.
And he thinks he can support me if I lose my job?!?!?
This is the American Way, folks. People constantly counting on that next paycheck, never saving any money for emergencies - using all their income on toys and food and other frivolties.