Because I had to put together a bunch of paperwork for the Labor Board yesterday (my phone interview is in a week!), which entailed printing out chat logs and emails with management to prove my case to the Labor Board that discrimination had taken place, naturally last night I had a dream/nightmare about the company that fired me.
I was at my desk, trying to get some work done so I could just leave for the day. The director of support looked at me uneasily but I don’t think he said anything. As I was finishing up for the day, I realised suddenly that I’d been fired days ago…but yet I kept coming back to work because they needed me and they knew it, and that’s why people were looking at me uneasily – I just wouldn’t go away¹.
As soon as I had this realisation, I abruptly stopped working and began to clear off my desk. I realised then that I had a lot of my personal stuff at the job², and that I’d need to stay very late after work boxing everything up. Good thing it was already after hours and everyone had gone home. I began to go through the darkened office, looking for boxes and newspaper to wrap my more fragile stuff in. As I was near the front door to the building, someone walking on the sidewalk outside³ glanced in at me furiously going through boxes and newspaper, while everything around me looked to be in a toppled mess. I remember thinking, “Oh crap, she probably thinks I broke in and is now off to call the police.” I hurried to a back room to look for more boxes.
Suddenly, the place turned into my father’s old house in Livonia – the one he grew up in full time, and then my brother and I grew up in, on weekends visiting dad. The place was a mess – boxes and garbage and stuff everywhere.4 As I was packing up my stuff, I began to notice … what the hell? CAT POOP! Giant dog-sized logs and curls of cat poop… everywhere? And my cats scampering about! I’d have to clean that up, too, before I could leave!!! Ugh!
I went to the wetbar and sat down and began packing some of my stuff up. That’s when my friend nateM showed up and sat down on the arm of the small loveseat in the wetbar, to my left. He began talking with me, and then my dad and his girlfriend5 came home. I apologised for the mess, and my dad announced that it was their anniversary, so I had to leave immediately so they could ‘celebrate’. I began scooping up my boxes and paper to exit the house, and then I woke up.
Good times, eh? I always hate having the work-related dreams after I’ve been let go, but alas, it’s what happens every time. I was doing fine with only having had the one dream, til I had to go and dig up all the paperwork for the Labor Board.
¹ This part of the dream happened because I had emailed a coworker asking if they’d be a witness for me to the Labor Board, because they too suffer from a health condition for which they are being harrassed. They wrote back in terrified manner: “I don’t think that I’d be any help regarding being a witness to anything. Remember, we had different schedules, days off and I wasn’t around when anyone from HR or management spoke to you about the absentee situation. To be frank, and I hope you understand, although no one at [the company] has ever given me reason to fear retaliation, I have had jobs where such situations have ended up in a bad way for me. 2 mortgages, a car payment and a heap of bills makes me try my best to fly right under the radar. I’d be happy to be a reference if a new employer calls, but there’s no union at [the company] to fall back on if someone thinks that I’m slinging mud.”
I have a heap of bills, credit card debt, a car insurance payment, and rent, and the company fired me. If I don’t pay my dad back the money I owe, I can make one month of bills before unemployment money sets in. And what if the money is delayed or denied? What if I can’t get another job right away? THAT is the fear. That is what keeps people in the jobs that abuse them, because they are afraid of being kicked out of their homes and cars. I don’t know if this person’s spouse works for a living and can help out financially like my man can help me. I understand The Fear because I’ve had The Fear – why else would I have stayed in so many shitty jobs for so long? But this is ridiculous. It has GOT to stop. People HAVE to get control of their lives and STOP letting money rule them and drive them into an early grave.
² This is actually not true. I stopped leaving personal artifacts at work right away after my first dotcom job let me go in 1998. I’ve never fully settled into a job since then, because I didn’t trust them to keep me, and I was right. I’ve had 14 jobs in 10 years, with eleven of those jobs being in the dotcom field.
³ There is no public sidewalk right in front of the main entrance – only an employee parking lot.
4 A total exaggeration of events yesterday – I was helping a friend clean house yesterday and it was nowhere near what my dad’s house in the dream looked like.
5 My dad is already remarried, has been for several years, and his anniversary isn’t til March, so I don’t know what that was about. ;)