Panic attack welling up

Last week sometime, my man and I visited several hotels for pricing of rooms for guests.

Friday I:

  • Visited a friend I’ve not seen in a long time!
  • Bought candles and holders for table centerpieces
  • Bought ribbon to add to hair falls (still need to learn how to make ‘em)

Saturday my man and I:

  • Met with a caterer and went over menu options (tasting to be scheduled)
  • Met with a baker and tasted cake
  • Visited two wineries for tasting/pricing of cases
  • Visited hotels for pricing of rooms
  • Had two members of our wedding party over for game night

Last night, I had two glasses of white wine and a half a glass of port. Of course this means I got drunk. I didn’t get falling down slobbering drunk, but still. I woke up dehydrated and sugar crashing this morning. :(

Note to self: YOU GOTTA STOP THIS.

This morning my man and I:

  • Went over all the hotels we’ve looked at to rank them best to worst
  • Picked out the hotels that still need pricing on and put it on my to-do list for Monday
  • Went over menu options from the caterer we met with on Saturday so we can schedule a tasting

I just sat down to organise some of the hotels we do have pricing on our wedding website, and BAM, I started having a panic attack.

First reaction? Reach for the bottle.

BUT I STOPPED MYSELF.

I know this will make it worse.

Instead, I popped a vitamin C, a vitamin B-100, and a milk thistle supplement, and started chugging water.
I then opened up my sing-a-long playlist on iTunes and began singing songs.
The reason for the sing-a-long is that it forces air in and out of the lungs so I’m not holding my breath and continuing to panic.

But I was so far into the panic mode that now as I sing, I’m so emotionally charged, I am choking back tears. I think the best thing for me is to just allow the meltdown.

I’ll post an update if this happens.

Note to self: you’re also PMSing, as george is due in T-minus 3 days. Along those lines - I started getting slight pelvic pain yesterday.

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