Day 6 of the pain, I go to work anyway

Normally I reserve this for the TMI illness filter but since it’s mostly to do with work, it goes into this filter.

I went to work today because I was nervous about having missed 3 days of work already. I wasn’t ready to go back to work but for some reason I became paranoid about losing my job. Why I still care this much about any employer at this stage of life, when my health should be taking precedence, is beyond me. But I do this to myself.

It took 600mg Ibuprofen and half a Tylenol 3 to stave the pain, which was not under control until about halfway to work. I was half an hour late to work because I waited til the last second to go out the door, wondering why the hell I was doing this to myself.

It’s only a little bit about the money. It’s mostly about not letting other people down. Like I said earlier, I don’t know why I still do this.

The baby was an angel through the first half of the day. She was happy and independent in the morning, and was content to play downstairs. So I didn’t have to do a lot of lifting or climbing of stairs with her.

The afternoon however was a different story. She was needy, refused to nap, and screamed a lot. At the end of my shift, while packing up my stuff to go home, I got a hot flash, then a trickle. I bid the parent good evening, told her I had to hurry home in a race to beat the onset of pain, and off I went.

I lost the battle.

I was exiting 6th Street in SF to get to the Bay Bridge when the pain became unbearable. I popped 600mg Ibuprofen, and within 10 minutes popped half a Tylenol 3.

Eyes glazed over, firmly gripping steering wheel, staring straight ahead, I made it home, only bursting into tears from the pain once.

I popped a second half Tylenol 3 pill while waiting in traffic in Oakland.

I made it home in an hour’s time and went straight to bed. Here I am, on laptop, drugged, bedridden.

Wheeee.

Tomorrow right? Tomorrow this is gone? Shorter workday tomorrow I’m told - the baby has a doctor appt.

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