Very whiney
For the past three days, my internal emotions have felt like a little kid who can’t tell the adults what is wrong, so she resorts to stamping her feet and fits of crying and sticking out her bottom lip and frowning a lot.
I’ve been having dull continuous aching pain in my upper legs for the past few days.
*** TMI FOLLOWS *** (there’s always a lot of graphic detail in this journal for those of you who are new to it)
Late Tuesday night, I began spotting. It was so faint, a normal person would have missed it, but I have the eagle eye and OCD checking behaviour and was able to notice. So I declared george would be here the next day and I was right.
Today I began to feel nauseated and then my body became extremely weak. This is usually a Bad Sign™, so I took 800mg in anticipation of pain and bleeding ramping up. I left work early and had to struggle to keep my eyes open and my hands on the steering wheel.
I’ve been spotting dark brown blood with debris since Wednesday morning. It wasn’t until after 4pm today that the blood began to get a little brighter and redder. But there’s still a lot of brown debris and I’m still only spotting, albeit enough to have to wear a pad since this morning.
Today the anal pain returned. Was it the cow’s milk cheese I caved in to last night? Was it the corn chips? Was it the fact that I’ve gone through four yes count ‘em four bags of gluten-free cookies in the past week due to PMS XXTREME cravings for sugar this month? Gawd I feel so guilty for having pigged out like that. I haven’t done that in a long time.
Gah. My ass hurts. I just want to do the young child cry - the one that tells you baby is overdue for nap or feeding. I just want to sit here all day and night and do that cry. My emotions have been doing this internally for the past two days and I’m getting really tired of it, so I’m now feeling the need to unleash it - share my pain as it were - on anyone crossing my path.
My poor husband will be home from work tomorrow because he’s getting ready to take off for the weekend to a game convention. He may have to bear some of my misery. I know he goes to this convention every year and it really is the best thing for him to be out of the house this weekend while I’m miserable but dammit at the same time I want him near to take care of me and bring me food and water or juice at regular intervals and pat me on the head.
Meh.
I’m so tired. But like a baby who is so very tired, I just want to continue whining and not sleep.
Unlike a baby however, I took a Tylenol 3 to knock me the hell out. I don’t usually take that unless I’m at an 8 on the pain scale but dang it, I need to be put out of this emotional misery for awhile.
And have I mentioned my ass hurts? It’s on fire. OW.
Warm compresses are not helping. Cold cloths make it hurt worse, as do the astringent pads. WAAAAHHHH MAKE IT STOP!!!