Another day at home
This morning I got up, ate two bowls of cereal, leaned over to pet my cat, and the nausea and weakness set in. The pain and bleeding, which had stopped overnight, also resumed.
I hemmed and hawed for a few minutes, then called in sick to work again. My body wanted to puke and the pain was only a 6 on the pain scale.
At 8am, I took a whole Tylenol 3 pill. Within 18 minutes, the drugs kicked in. Sweet!
I have determined that I’m alright, as long as I *don’t move*. I can stand, or I can lay down with heating pads. Sitting or otherwise moving around is right out.
The part that sucks the most is that my mind is feeling better, but my body is not. My mind is awake, alert and ready to tackle housework. But then I take one step and my pelvis cries out in agony.
The Tylenol 3 is not just good for pain dissociation, it’s also good for knocking me flat, so that I’m forced to rest.
Like, right now. I’m super light-headed and need to go lay down.
9:40am Edit:
Just woke with the most mother effing cramps ever. Too nauseous to eat. Take more Tylenol 3? Take Advil? Call an ambulance?
9:50am Edit:
Heating Amy’s freezer brand gluten free mac ‘n cheese. Will take 4 advil gel caps. Already have 2 heating pads on me. breathing.
10:20am Edit:
Got the mac ‘n cheese down. Got the Advil down. Also took another Tylenol 3. Breathing. Waiting. Pacing. Acupressure points.
11am Edit:
I am effectively dissociated from the pain once more. Trying for sleep again.
1:30pm Edit:
Slept for an hour and 40 minutes (until 12:40pm), pretty good.
Problem is, I wasn’t breathing. Had Tylenol 3 induced nightmares. Woke up choking for air. It’s now nearly an hour after I woke up, and I am still drawing deep breaths and hoping for the full return of my faculties, and I have a headache.
I had crazy dreams/nightmares about my ma’s side of the family, like I *always* do when on a lot of Tylenol 3. We had some sort of reunion in someone’s house, which had an upstairs and a basement. There were small dogs, I think. The family was glad to see me but didn’t know how to act around me - as usual I was the weird one. The family acted as though I was cursed, or worse, an imposter of the blood line. But they tried to be nice to me about it. Then it faded to ignoring me. I tried to get photos but no one would stand still. The photos I did get looked creepy, so I declared the house to be haunted. At the end of the dream, I asked the family to all post skeletons as their user pix on Facebook.
The dream is just my fear of rejection surfacing, again. In the past year, I have reconnected with 23 family members on my ma’s side, mostly cousins. I am supposed to have a family reunion with them sometime this year.