Clock resets for 22 days.
Today was my first day back to work, after having missed Monday and Tuesday.
It is my intent each month to give a “postmortem” or summary of what I went through, and my thoughts on what I went through. I don’t always remember to do this - let 2010 be the year I begin remembering this crucial type of blog entry.
The bleeding subsided by yesterday evening. Residual cramps pestered me throughout the night and into today, but it was minor enough that last night I was able to go to a friend’s house and watch the season premier of LOST, and today I was able to work a full day with minimal to moderate pain. I did have to take 400mg Advil gelcaps once today.
I cannot recall if I have laid out exactly what my job entails, so let’s do that now - I just created a page called A Work Day In The Life Of Steph.
When I got home from work, I threw off my work clothes and got into my pajamas, and tucked myself in bed with the laptop and some heating pads for the rest of the evening. I so need the extra rest.
Reflecting back on this past weekend, it was pretty scaring emotionally. If I had my way, I’d never touch marijuana again. I had gone into the weekend expecting that my new medical marijuana ‘card’ would bring some sort of good alternative treatment into my life.
Although I have misgivings about the last two times I tried marijuana (I smoked it and the pain grew worse), and although I’d read one study which showed that in vitro, “THC exerts palliative effects in cancer patients, but produces adverse effects on the endocrine and reproductive systems“, I was still hopeful that cannabis edibles could still help me relieve some of my pain.
On Saturday, while medicated on Tylenol 3 for the pain, my husband drove me to the local smoke shop, where I priced some vaporizers in case I wanted to try that route again. He then drove me to a medical marijuana dispensary, where we registered ourselves, toured the facility, and checked out some tinctures, powdered mixes and butter. That day, we bought an undetermined cannabis blend put into a peppermint mocha mix, and a blend of butter called “Kush”. A friend had told me to get a strain called Indica to treat pain, but I forgot to ask specifically for that while we were at the dispensary, and it didn’t seem that the labels on the edibles stated directly whether something had indica or not.
Saturday night, I tried the butter around 11:30pm. I only had about a teaspoon’s worth on a gluten-free waffle. It took over half an hour to kick in, and the high kicked in first, but what I remember is that for about an hour and a half I was completely pain-free. Now, this could just be as simple as my cramps abated on their own.
Or there was something to the butter. But after an hour and a half, the cramps did return, and I was still uncomfortably high from the butter, so I did not want to consume more.
On Sunday around 1pm, I tried 1tbsp medicated mocha mix to ease the pain, and mixed it with a cup of hot goat milk and 1tbsp Trader Joe’s sipping chocolate. I did not want to gulp it all down at once, because I was unsure of the dosage. The mocha mix was a single serving, but I know my body better than that, and eased way off, only digging out one of the estimated three tablespoons available in the “single serving” pack.
Again, it took too long for the medication to kick in. Once it did, the high hit me and I went on a 7 hour bad drug trip, accompanied by a pathetic pain dissociation attempt. I bled like a stuck pig all day. I experienced maddening gnawing uterine and pelvic pain, which led me to agonising choking sobs twice that day. I could not take any other pain medication for fear of getting even higher than I already was, which was very uncomfortable for me. I did not experience any pain relief until after 7pm - when I consumed 800mg of Advil gel caps.
On Monday and Tuesday, I stuck to Tylenol 3 and Advil all day and was made much more comfortable. As I stated of the Tylenol 3 on Monday, February 1, “I knew when my body was in pain, because the top of my skin would twitch, or my whole body would jump. Then it would take up to three full seconds for my brain to register that the twitch meant huge stabby pain was happening. But by the time it got to my drug addled brain, all my brain had as a message to give to me was a faint recording of a scream, if that makes sense.” The pain dissociation was full and complete compared to the medical marijuana’s lame attempts.
I looked up the word my friend had told me - indica - to find out more about it. According to Urban Dictionary, “Indica is not slang for marijuana, but one of the three species of marijuana; Sativa, Indica, and Reduralis. Sativa is more of a skinny, tall, lanky, and less yielding plant that produces a mind high. Whereas Indica is more of a small, broad, and usually a higher yielding plant that gives you a couchlock body high.”
MarijuanaStrains.com pretty much says the same thing.
I agree with my friend, I need the Indica.
I looked closely at the packaging for the medicated mocha mix and found no info whatsoever as to the blend of medical cannabis in it. LAME.
I examined the package for the butter and could only find the word ‘Kush’, so I looked that up. According to wikipedia, “Kush refers to a subset of strains of indica cannabis”. Over at MarijuanaStrains.com, they say that the Kush blend gives a cerebral high.
Alright, lesson learned. Ask more questions about what can give the best “body high” or dissociation, and make it abundantly clear that I do not want anything that is not Indica.
And then we’ll go for round 2 of medical marijuana treatment. As I said earlier, if I had my way, I’d never try medical marijuana again.
Alas, I am also sick and tired of people constantly asking me, “have you tried…?” down to the finest detail. So my answer for “have you tried medical marijuana?” is incomplete, until I can, with authority, say YES I HAVE TRIED BOTH SATIVA AND INDICA STRAINS.
In the alternative medication department, this coming Sunday, I have a phone appointment with my acupuncturist to discuss further herbal remedies for endometriosis. On Sunday January 31, I stopped taking the herbal pills she’d prescribed for me in early December, because I was upset with the side effects that were manifesting.
Throughout December, I was only taking one pill a day, when I remembered at all.
Starting mid-January, I finally started remembering to take two pills twice a day, and according to which blend I needed to be on during my menstrual cycle. This is when I began to notice the negative side effects - first I started getting manic-depressive. I attributed it to the New Moon. Then I got manic again, around the Full Moon. Instead of blaming it on the moon, this time I became consciously suspicious of the herbs.
I normally do not suffer from mania, you see. The last time I did, I was on Yasmin.
Now, here’s another problem - I told myself I would research the herbs before taking them, but then I felt pressured by my acupuncturist to start taking the pills NOW, because she wanted me to start getting better NOW.
It’s not her fault I felt pressured. I wanted to start feeling better NOW, too. So I threw aside the research I had started and just took the damned pills, hoping for pain relief.
What I got instead was manic-depression, to the point of being super hyper and anxiety-ridden to sobbing uncontrollably within the span of a few hours. And it happened on more than one day. And then my fingers started splitting open and bleeding again. I checked my diet - nothing I could think of to be causing this allergic reaction….
…except maybe the herbal pills.
So I emailed back and forth with my acupuncturist last weekend, and just stopped taking the pills altogether on January 31. She says her supplier told her that the pills are both gluten and yeast free, but something is triggering the atopic dermatitis, because my fingers cleared up perfectly within 24 hours of stopping the pills.
It’s getting too late tonight to do it, but I would love to go meticulously through the ingredients list for each brand of herbal pills - both the Unicorn Pearl and the Harmonizing The Moon - to try to root out the dermatitis. I already know the ginseng and/or the dong quai is what brought out the mania. And I find it quite interesting that those two herbs, which are touted to acupuncturists as being ‘warming’ and ‘good’ for gynecological problems, are listed as BAD elsewhere.
For example, MedicinePlus says “Avoid use of ginseng in patients with hormone sensitive conditions, such as breast cancer, uterine cancer, or endometriosis.” Also noted on that website for side effects of ginseng:
“heart palpitations, rapid heart rate, leg swelling, nausea/vomiting, or manic episodes in people with bipolar disorder”.
I’ve never been diagnosed as bipolar on my own - but I did exert bipolar tendencies when I was put on SSRIs back in 2000-2001. It is thought by later psychologists that the meds pushed me from my official Major Depression diagnosis into bipolar territory.
But the ginseng made me bipolar.
Good thing I saw a new psychiatrist today.
Regarding dong quai, MedicinePlus says, “It remains unclear if Dong quai has the same effects on the body as estrogens, if it blocks the activity of estrogens, or if it has no significant hormonal effects. It remains unclear if Dong quai is safe in individuals with hormone-sensitive conditions such as breast cancer, uterine cancer, ovarian cancer, or endometriosis.” Also noted as a dong quai side effect on that website is skin rash. Same with ginseng.
In the physiological department, I am still spotting this evening and will likely continue to do so for another day. I am constipated from consuming the Tylenol 3, and I still have moderate low back pain. I am super tired like I always am after having spent a few days writhing in pain and medicated to the gills.
Oh, and my gym membership card is ready to be picked up - I need to give the personal trainer a call and see if Monday February 8 is a good time to get together. Hopefully she can work well with me and my mobility issues, both with the osteoarthritis and with the endometriosis.