Mittelschmerz already?!

Yesterday I was cleaning house when suddenly I doubled over in pain. I had to stop and sit down on the couch, and I sat there for the next 30-40 minutes trying to figure out if the pain was going to get worse or go away or what.

The pain finally subsided and I did not take any pain medication for it.

The pain was centered in the low uterus and affected my bladder, cervix and vagina. I had really slippery discharge all day, so I am convinced that this was ovulation, a couple of days earlier than normal.

This whole weekend has been a fun roll in the hay for my husband and I – my libido ON button is firmly activated AND there’s been no associated pain (dyspaneuria). This is awesome of course – since it means we have already surpassed our monthly average. Any time I can show my illness that I’m living life and having fun despite it all, I get really giddy. So…woot! to libido!

Visit to a new surgeon today

Today I saw Dr. Linda Giudice at UCSF – the same hospital where I had my diagnostic laparoscopy three years ago.

She is every bit the rock star that the World Endometriosis Foundation and endometriosis.org brag her to be. :)

A friend of mine says she told me awhile ago I should go see this doctor. I believe her, and I am kicking myself for not forwarding the email convo with her to a text document I keep with all my endometriosis files, or forwarding the mail to my Living With Endometriosis email account. I really have to get better at sending copies of convos in other sources to myself in an endo-only location where I’ll be sure to see it again and follow up. Part of the issue too is that Dr. Giudice is in San Francisco, and I was certain I could find a good reproductive endocrinologist/surgeon in the East Bay. My stubbornness cost me over a year, and continued let-downs via other doctors.

Learn and move on…

I guess I can say I can’t be curious about those other doctors now, eh?

So, the details of the visit:

I was weighed, measured, BP and pulse taken, and an intake nurse met with me to begin my medical history. Dr. Giudice walked in and said normally she would let the intake nurse do all this but I’d been made to wait 10 minutes already, so she was going to spare me that. I lit up like a light when she walked in and enthusiastically smiled and shook her hand. I couldn’t contain my excitement, hee hee.

We went over my history and Dr. Giudice was totally on the ball, receptive to the medical paperwork I had to offer, asking the basic questions about where my pain is, what it feels like, when the pain happens during each cycle, and all that. She asked what I’d tried for the pain, if I’d try further hormonal treatments, if I’d try the Mirena IUD (no to ANY and ALL further hormonal treatments). She didn’t put up any arguments to my ‘no’ answers.

She had a look at my surgery report and said it looked like stage I endometriosis. It felt like a scene in a movie where a record player needle is suddenly ripped from the playing record, heh, and I told the doctor that per my follow-up interview with my surgeon (and handed her the hardcopy of said interview, as well as color photos of the surgery), I think I really am at moderate or stage III endometriosis.

Dr. Giudice had a look at the interview notes and the color photos and exclaimed her thanks to me – that those made the picture A LOT more clear – and she agreed, yes, I do have moderate endo.

Now that I think about it , endo is endo, if I have it, it shouldn’t matter the stage, but for some reason there in the office, I really needed her to really take a look at everything I had. I dunno, would I feel like I’d been telling lies if I was at a different stage than reality dictated? Why does it matter the stage if the pain itself is real?? Why does it matter the stage if two different surgeons can’t agree on what stage it is, but can agree that it is endometriosis?
I mean, seriously. But there I was, afraid I might not be helped perhaps, if I only had stage I endo.

I told Dr. Giudice how I’d met with Dr. Streitfeld and he said based upon my history, my surgery report and the fact that I did not have pain relief from the endo, that I might have adenomyosis. She said it was a possibility, indeed (adenomyosis is where some inner uterine lining is found within the middle layer – the muscular uterine wall. The inner lining has different cells than the middle or muscular layer, and should therefore not be in the middle layer at all. Rogue endometrial growth in this middle layer is very very hard to treat, so said Dr. Streitfeld and Dr. Giudice. In fact, Dr. Streitfeld had said that the only way to cure someone of adenomyosis is to take the uterus out).

Dr. Giudice also told me that based on me telling her that I get rectal bleeding about a week before my period each month, and that I’m always constipated and bowel movements are very painful during menstruation, that it’s quite possible that I have “rectal-vaginal involvement” where the endometriosis is concerned. She says it’s unfortunately very easy to miss during a laparoscopy, and that I should get an MRI.

Dr. Giudice asked if I had pain radiating down my legs, and if I am painfully sensitive to the touch anywhere else on my body. I told her how I get pain radiating down my tops of my legs and inner thighs down to my knees every month up to a week before menses, and said I am only sensitive to touch on my legs in general, but I am sure that with the legs, it’s due to overloaded liver and kidneys.

Dr. Giudice began telling me about nerve inflammation, and illustrated how endometriosis brings its own nerve bundles with it and attaches to existing nerve clusters belonging to other organs, and that’s why we get such radiating pain. She said that even if there is no actual endometriosis on a particular part of the body, the fact that an endo nerve sac had joined up with an existing nerve line – that’s what is triggering the pain on down the line.

My jaw dropped. I looked at the nerve clusters she was drawing for me, and exclaimed something like, “That’s exactly what Dr. Ian Fraser talked about a year ago, and there was no publicity on his findings! I JUST saw this for the first time recently!”

Dr. Giudice looked surprised, then smiled, and said she got to meet with Dr. Fraser in the past three months.

OH MY GOD. THAT IS SO AWESOME! So they’re on the same page! She agrees with his findings or is at least intrigued by his findings and is willing to cite his work to her patients. There is hope. I told her that I’d written to him, that he’d apologised to me, saying ‘we’re not there yet’ – i.e. he has a lot of work ahead of him. I told Dr. Giudice that I told Dr. Fraser I’ll wait and I’m happy to give him all the P.R. he needs. She smiled and even giggled at that.

We also discussed the ideas that some doctors are pushing – neuropathic pain and muscle memory. “Kind of like phantom limb”, said Dr. Giudice. She wanted to know how I felt about seeing a physical therapist and also trying out antidepressants to try to reprogram the brain from continually saying, “OMGWTF I’M IN PAIN OW MAKE IT STOP”.

I told her I’m on board with the physical therapy and the idea of muscle memory. I told her how I try to keep things loose through the wide hip circle belly dance move, and that a masseuse I had in the past also knows a lot from experience and training about muscle memory vs. endometriosis.

But the antidepressants, I told her, I’m not so sure about pursuing that right now. She nodded and said it’s not really her area, anyway – she just wanted to put it out there.

We then went to the exam room – I consented to a transvaginal ultrasound and a pelvic exam, and mentioned I’d been having right side ovarian pain for at least the last two menstrual cycles, and was worried about another ovarian cyst.

Dr. Giudice let me watch the monitor and explained everything to me as she worked. Her speech cadence and body language informed me that my uterus does not look normal to her, and she described it verbally and on the ultrasound report as “globular”.
Fascinating.
I had warned her before putting the scope in me that I have a tilted uterus and to go slow, and she did the best she could. She confirmed for me that my uterus is tilted backward a bit (retroverted), and said that with the uterus being “globular” and the cervix not being where it is supposed to be, that it could account for some of my pain, and more importantly, it is commonly seen in women with adenomyosis. :(

Dr. Giudice moved on to my ovaries, starting with the right side, and immediately found a black spot. She marked it on the screen and said it appears to be a 0.9cm endometrioma, a.k.a. chocolate cyst on the ovary.

She spotted two follicles on the right ovary; one being the endometrioma, and moved to the left ovary. The left ovary contains four follicles and no cysts or endometriomas. Dr. Giudice looked puzzled and asked me my age. When I told her I am 38, her face relaxed and she said it made sense, then. She thought I was younger, and now it made sense – she said that with age, women produce less eggs, and she told me she is seeing a “diminished ovarian follicle reserve”. She was quick to add, “I’m not saying you’re going into menopause tomorrow…” and I told her that’s okay, it may sound aweful but I’m really looking forward to menopause in the hopes that it burns the endometriosis out
(during menopause, there is a severe lack of estrogen being produced by the body. Endometriosis needs estrogen to thrive and grow).
Dr. Giudice nodded emphatically at my hopes.

She then said she’d like to do a rectal exam, because of what we’d talked about earlier with the whole possible rectal-vaginal endo issue. I winced and groaned. My legs stiffened even tighter right there in the stirrups. It had already been painful enough to get the transvaginal ultrasound and the pelvic exam, because I’m so tight, small and tender in there to begin with. I warned the doctor that I have painful hemorrhoids and to please be as gentle as possible. I consented to the rectal exam because I know why she needs it, and I have known for years that I have rectal-vaginal involvement, even if the first surgery missed it. And eight months ago, Dr. Kate O’Hanlan also insisted upon a rectal exam for the very same reason. Of course, Dr. Giudice asked me FIRST and didn’t proceed until I gave her permission.

Sadly, the end result was the same as last time – I got hot, shaky, weak, quite nauseous, and totally emotionally rattled.

Dr. Giudice finished up her exam, told me an MRI was definitely warranted, and took off her gloves to come stand by my side and hold my hand because she saw me gripping my fists and clenching my teeth. A tear spilled from my left eye. I began babbling about how I’ve had these stupid hemorrhoids since college, when there was a lot going on in my life; my brother was facing prison time, I got knocked up and chose not to keep it and was told by my doctor I’d probably miscarry anyway…plus a full college load to deal with. Dr. G reminded me to breathe, and asked if I’d ever tried psychiatric counseling. I told her oh yes, a few times, now. I told her I’d seek it again.

The doctor and her assistant left me alone in the room to take as long as I needed to collect myself. A nurse came in to ask if I needed a pad, a drink of water, or anything. Once everyone left, I began sobbing. I cried and cried. I shook like a leaf.

I wondered, what was I upset about, aside from a painful rectal exam? Is that all it took to break me?

Or is it the fact that I now have to consider adenomyosis and rectal-vaginal endometriosis on top of my original endo diagnosis? Or that rectal exams seem to be part of the package, now? Or that even Dr. G admits to not being able to really do much for me, but she’s trying and she cares? Or am I having a problem knowing consciously that I’m getting old and that due to decreased egg output, menopause will start in a few years? Or, hmmm, am I really beginning to wonder if I should *gasp* have children before my well dries up?!
Seriously, I am a confused bundle of emotions right now. Not being able to pin exactly what was making me THAT upset, especially when I didn’t sob *during* my last rectal exam, made it all the more necessary that I just shrug and go with it, and let the tears pour forth.

I needed ten or more minutes on top of that in the waiting room to collect myself. The right side ovarian pain had set in again, and I took 600mg Ibuprofen and washed it down with the nice warm water that the nurse had given me. Warm liquids good, cold liquids bad where pelvic pain is concerned.

I called my husband the moment I got back to my car, to tell him how it all went.

I called work the moment I got back into my town at 1pm, and took the rest of the day off.

And it wasn’t until 6pm tonight that I was able to start journaling about my doctor’s visit.

And only now, at 10:55pm, I am finally able to finish my journal about my experience today.

*big sigh*

Hopefully I’ll be able to sleep tonight.

I am immensely, immensely happy to have finally sought out Dr. Giudice. She was there the whole time – referred by a friend even – and I finally found my way to her.

I have a lead for a physical therapist (my last GYN gave me some leads but they didn’t work out – scheduling/timing problems I think), and I have a script to get an expensive MRI, and all of this has to be done in the next two months, during which time I’m also shelling out money for a visit back to Michigan (it’s been six years since I’ve been home), and also shelling out money for school (to get my Montessori head teacher degree).

But it has to happen this way.

And after that, probably another surgery. We’ll see.

I have to stay brave. I still have lots of options to try out. I haven’t exercised everything, yet.

I’m kinda terrified of coming to the end of all available options, including menopause, with no pain relief. The idea of having gone through 24 years and having 20+ years to go with this pain if nothing continues to work – yeah I think that’s the crux of my emotions right there.

Sunday was both painful and productive

Sunday upon waking, my entire back down through the pelvic region was in so much pain that by the time I crawled out of bed, I was nauseous.
There had not been any bleeding overnight – it was completely gone, even upon waking, so all I was dealing with were cramps, but I knew better.

Normally, I need to eat right when I wake up, but because of the pain and nausea, I went right into the bathroom, cleaned out the tub (which ironically helped to loosen my lower back a bit), and filled it with hot water, epsom salt and lavender bubble bath.

I didn’t eat until two hours after waking, and only when prompted by my husband, who made me a yummy cheese and mushroom quesadilla.

Within an hour after eating, I got nauseous again, my body felt like a hot flash had come on and I stripped off my sweatshirt. When I got up out of bed, I felt a gush. I had something big to pass – I could feel it (which is a mighty gross feeling, lemme tell ya).
I began doing the slow large hip circles to get the pelvic region moving, until of course the pain became too much to bear and I stopped. I took half a Tylenol 3 and 600mg Ibuprofen, and went and sat out in the backyard to get some sun, because I was feeling so gloomy.

I stayed in limbo with moderate bleeding for just over two hours, and then another huge surge of pain swept over me just before 3pm. Now, I was already on half a Tylenol 3 for the bad lower back pain and the first surge of pelvic pain that day, but I scrambled to the bathroom and took an entire Tylenol 3 to add to the armaments needed for the big fight.

I basically spent most of the day in bed, drugged to the gills once again.

Sometime in the early evening – my husband suggested we go for a walk around the block, since I was being so bitter about missing sunny days to the pain every month. We shuffled on for .8 of a mile, but by the .6 mile mark, my legs were ready to give out from under me, because of how weak and tired I still was from the endo. My husband wondered if my adrenal glands are considered to be under attack each time the endo hits, because of a discussion someone had at work – saying that when the adrenal glands are suffering, a person can feel really weak and tired. I told him I’m sure my adrenals are under attack, as I’m pretty sure they’re part of the endocrine system, which the ovaries are also a part of. I told him it is an interesting thought, and that I shall have to see what research studies and medical papers are out there discussing the adrenals and endo.

When we got back from our walk, I had to get right back into bed I was so exhausted. I spent the rest of the evening finishing up a site redesign I promised myself I would do during this endo downtime. The result is a new look for my Living With Endometriosis main site. Hopefully more navigable and less cluttered!

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Today I was hesitant but I went in to work anyway. I was in a lot of low back pain for much of the day – it began easing up the more I moved around, thankfully. So I got through today on 600mg Ibuprofen alone, and I’m back to spotting. Barring no further bloody cylon attacks tonight, I’ll declare tomorrow the official setting of the clock for next cycle countdown.
Tonight I have some laundry and dishes to do, so I can’t just crawl back into bed, much as I want to. I’m so exhausted.

Another sunny weekend lost to the pain

George arrived really late Wednesday night and spent the next 18 hours spotting before ramping up the bleeding and pain, so I was able to work on Thursday. That night, the pain and bleeding ramped up, and I spent Friday at home bedridden with heavy flow and cramps.

Today I woke with minimal cramps and although the flow was still heavy, I was able to go get my CPR/First Aid certification class out of the way for work. Two times during the day, I came close to calling it quits – I seriously thought about asking my husband to come pick me up – but I stayed strong and got through the day on half a Tylenol 3 and 600mg Ibuprofen gel caps.

I felt like I was in the bathroom every ten minutes all damned day.

The pain did not ramp up again until dinnertime, when it began to jump up faster than I could think to get my medication down. I was left near tears, waiting for a whole Tylenol 3 to kick in.

Once the medicine did kick in, I became more stoned than I usually am. Interesting, dunno why that happened, but the end result is that the pain abated for nearly two hours before a fresh attack occurred, this time a sudden piercing stab to the left ovary which made me shriek, leap off my bed and clutch myself.

I’m so exhausted. Going to bed, now.

I video blogged what I could, since I don’t usually do vids of me in pain.
Next time I’ll zoom in on the camera if I’m going to do the whole video in the mirror thing again, heh.

I’ll remember the fun I had…

…as I descend further into the underworld on my monthly journey of chronic pain.

Tuesday night, I was sure that the pain was ramping up, and that by Wednesday morning, I would be in severe pain. The only co-worker I could line up to sub for me said it would be best to let him know Tuesday night as opposed to early Wednesday morning. So after 11pm Tuesday night, I made the decision and my co-worker confirmed he’d be in for me.

Wouldn’t you know it, on Wednesday I wasn’t in a lot of pain. But I’d already sent someone in to work for me. The guilt came and went, back and forth, all day. And still no outward presense of george.

Throughout the day, I had severe low back pain when attempting to do anything other than recline on the couch. I could not lay down, I could not sit at my desk, I could not stand for any length of time. The only comfortable position for me was sitting on the edge of the couch cushion or leaning all the way back on the couch.

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I had mild to moderate nausea all day yesterday, and was weak and shaky upon standing/walking. Despite this, I was experiencing XXTREME NESTING, which meant I wanted to bleach the walls and floors, vacuum the cats, and shake out the mattresses.

Over a three hour period, I was able to wash four small walls in the bathroom, using warm water and borax mixture. Our bathroom is crazy-shaped, and has eight walls. I also washed a few dishes and scooped the catbox. That is a lot of activity for someone who is nauseous, weak and shaky. But I am stubborn and had to do something with my guilt complex.

I did not take any medication until bedtime last night, when I took 600mg Ibuprofen and a half of a Tylenol 3. I had begun spotting by midnight, but when I got up this morning, I was no longer spotting, and I wasn’t in pain. So I went to work.

By 11am, the pain was making itself known, and I’d begun spotting again. It was thick, dark, sticky.
My pain on the Allie Brosh pain scale was at:

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…which is actually a 4.5 to 5 on the Mankoski Pain Scale.

By the time the kids were dismissed to lunch, my pain was reaching a 5 on the Allie Brosh scale:

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…which is actually a 7 on the Mankoski Pain Scale.

I promised myself I would leave work right after the childrens’ lunch hour. There was no one to take my place during that critical hour, so I pushed through it.

When I left work for the day, it had become almost too difficult to walk to my car, which was parked a block and a half away. Every single step was jarring to my pelvic region. The nerve pain seared from my pelvis down the insides of both legs to my knees. It’s so difficult to describe the leg nerve pain that comes with endometriosis – people aren’t usually able to comprehend that one would have leg pain associated with pelvic pain – but it makes total sense if you look at the nervous system. The pelvic area is rich with nerves (as seen in yellow in the image below), which extend down the legs.

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If you look at a full body nerve diagram, you can see a bit better that any nerve inflammation in the pelvic region would of course touch on surrounding nerves and radiate down the legs.

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All this is actually in line with what Dr. Ian Fraser is saying in his Mysteries Of Endometriosis Pain lecture last year. He had found in his research that “Sometimes sizeable nerve trunks were identified passing though peritoneal lesions, something never seen in normal peritoneum”, and had commented that “It seems probable that the invading endometriosis bringing its own nerve supply links up with the intrinsic (enteric) nerve plexus of [for example, the bowel], resulting in excessive branching and proliferation of multiple nerve fibers.”

When I got to my car, it was difficult and painful to get into my car. I drive a Dodge Neon, which sits low to the ground. On top of that, the seats also sit low inside the car, so it nearly feels like I’m getting into a go-kart or bumper car.

I curse myself as my illness worsens through the years, saying I really need a Volkswagon or maybe even a Jeep – something which sits higher up both outside and inside.

When I got home, I sat in my car for several minutes, trying to work up the courage to draw up my knees, turn and push myself out of my car. The prospect of that seemed traumatising to me, considering the level of pain I was in.

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I let all my breath out and slowly, methodically got out of my car, one muscle group, one body part at a time. Bending forward to get to my belongings behind my chair was painful task #2, and then stepping up onto the high curb was painful task #3. Then I was home. Thankfully I was able to have parked directly in front of my home.

What sucked was that it was my lunch hour, and I was starving. As is usual with the pain, I was very picky with what I wanted to eat. I didn’t want the fresh vegetable soup I just made, noooooo. So I popped a Tylenol 3, made some gluten-free pizza and a chocolate cake, and after eating my pizza, took a drug-addled nap.

To describe this month’s cycle in two words, I would say HIGHLY AGITATED.
I don’t want to be in my own body or mind. The brain weasels are bad enough on a New Moon without the hormonal whack of endometriosis adding to it. Can’t wait for this month to be over.

Thankful

George has not shown up yet today. Because of his tardiness, I was able to get in another full day of work. :)

Upon waking, I did have some pain, and was sure that by the time I was to leave for work, I’d be in full blown pain.

Instead, I was feeling annoyingly bloated, having low level cramps, and feeling like I might burst into tears at any moment. I went to work, because it was too late to arrange for a substitute teacher. I went in thinking I’d have to turn right back around within an hour.

While waiting for the parents to begin the drive-in drop-off at the school, I stood in silence, taking in the nice sunny morning. It was mostly cloudy but I could still see enough of the blue sky and feel the sun on my face. I stared at the trees in the lots surrounding the school, and I just wanted to cry my eyes out, and I could not explain to myself just why. Hello, PMS.

Although I think part of it is that I expect routine from my illness, and when it deviates, it messes with my head. When the pain is absent for too many days, I actually get hopeful – I envision my illness just vanishing, and I wonder how long it would take for me to really believe it and TRUST being pain-free. Not being bedridden today when I thought I would be gave me some hope that perhaps this cycle won’t be as harsh, and maybe it won’t even be painful at all. But 24 years of cyclical endometriosis pain seems to laugh at that notion.

Just after 9am, the pain was enough that I took what Ibuprofen I had on me – 400mg gelcaps – and waited for the “real pain” to arrive.

I was super tired for most of the day, but the pain never got above a 4 on the scale. :)

All day I have had fierce sugar cravings, and I’ve had to keep my attitude and my anxiety in check all day, because of the PMS. I swear, if I’m not experiencing pain before my period, I’m experiencing really bad PMS! I will take that over pain though!

After work, I went to my acupuncturist appointment. I was super tired, forgetful, and dazed, but not in pain! I got treatment points in the feet, legs, pelvis, left wrist, hands and ears, then after that treatment, I received treatment points in the lower back, since that’s where a lot of my pain has actually been in the past week.

When I got home, I was still feeling tired, but not as tired as I’d been before the acupuncture appointment. With a little coaxing, I convinced myself to get some housework done with this extra time on my hands.

Because george was late, I was able to work an entire shift today, go to my acupuncture appointment, fold and put away five blankets and a slew of clean towels, unload the dishwasher and load it back up again, and wash some stuff that can’t go into the dishwasher. I also cooked up some gluten-free, yeast-free pizzas for me and my husband.

All that, on a day I was supposed to be bedridden. :)

So despite my crazy emotions, I really am thankful to have had one more day without george.

Visit to underworld imminent

I was able to enjoy one more night out on the town before calling it quits and admitting to my body shutting down for the next cycle of pain.

Friday April 9, I think I stayed home, cuz all day at work I had been really tired and had low back pain. I had gone to bed at 9pm the night before, and had to be at work much earlier than usual (6:50am vs. 11am earlier that week), so I’m sure some of the fatigue was just because I had to get up so early.

Saturday, my husband and I took a jaunt over to the other side of the Bay and I got an impromptu hair cut to get back the bangs I’ve been missing:

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Later that evening, we had dinner and discussed what to do that night. My husband wanted to see Rocky Horror Picture Show, but another friend who planned to go with us fell ill. That’s when another friend called and said she and her husband were throwing a hotel party for their one year wedding anniversary. We met up with them for a couple hours in their super awesome Death Star-like suite, then like the rock stars we are, we jetted off to Club Gossip, an 80’s club night, where another friend was having Part One of her birthday weekend celebration.
No pix to share from that night, sorry!

On Sunday, I slept in, and while stretching in bed to wake up, I “blew an ovary”. I swear, that’s what it felt like. I cried out, went fetal and clutched myself, whimpering for a couple minutes. I had right side ovarian and uterine pain for the next two hours. I took it easy on the couch for at least that long. Ugh.
By late Sunday afternoon, I felt well enough to start laundry, but of course, the pelvic pain returned. I pushed through it. I did do three loads of laundry, dangit. My husband and I also went grocery shopping, I cleaned out the fridge, and got some vacuuming done, all despite the pain, which was at a 4 on the scale.

Speaking of pain scales, I’ve been using the Mankoski pain scale, developed by Andrea Mankoski, who also suffers from pelvic pain and did a beautiful service to women by providing a more rational scale than the one normally used by doctors and emergency rooms.

However, I think it may be time for me to turn to another revised pain scale, developed by Allie Brosh, who, when I wrote to her, admitted that she too suffers from endometriosis.

I LOVE her pain scale!

Today I have been at a 4.5 on the Mankoski pain scale, or a 3.5 on the Brosh scale. Here is what 3.5 on Allie Brosh’s scale looks like:

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I needed 600mg of Ibuprofen gel-caps to get through work today, and every time I sit down or lean over, I end up stuck in that position and the pain sets in immediately. I have to move really slowly to try to straighten my back out.
All day today I have felt like I am out of breath. This is “normal” for me when I’m about to be stricken with another endometriosis flare. I call it a flare because I do not suffer symptoms full time – just around the time of my menstrual cycle.

I have also been suffering from anxiety today, despite the fact that groceries are purchased and bills are paid. Oh and yesterday, I thought I might tear my husband’s head off over things that probably don’t normally make me upset. I say probably because right now I have no idea. Who am I again?
Maybe it’s the impending New Moon. Maybe it’s the impending Mercury Retrograde. Maybe it’s the cold, rainy Pacific winter that won’t leave, yet. It rained all day today.
Or maybe it’s just that my hormones are completely whacked because of endometriosis. I need to start drinking the specially prescribed Chinese herbal tea again, now that I’m heading into the next cycle.

Well shit. It’s 8pm. Gotta get some XXTREME NESTING type cleaning done, as well as some cooking, before I attempt to crawl in to work tomorrow.

I had 10 good days!!

I’m so excited! I went TEN WHOLE DAYS WITHOUT PAIN!!!

I didn’t even feel mittelschmerz this month!

Here’s what I did with the healthy uptime:

March 28-31 – I got stuff done around the house, and went to work and ran errands – just the usual.

Thursday April 1 –       I saw Assemblage 23 in concert.

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Friday April 2 – I went dancing.

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Saturday April 3 – I went dancing again!

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Sunday April 4 – I rested, ate gluten-free pizza and watched the street flood from a rainstorm.

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Monday April 5 – I went dancing *again* but by this time, my knees were mad at me and my body in general was really starting to get fatigued.
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Tuesday April 6 – I didn’t have to work until 11am because it’s spring break week, and a lot of us aren’t on a full schedule this week. Our landlady was having our windows replaced, however, so the first part of my morning consisted of me walking around in a dust mask because it had become too hard to breathe with all the construction dust.
Health-wise, I realised I was beginning the downward slide – I began to feel bloated, and experienced mild, intermittent cramping. My knees continued to hurt from all the exercise I’ve been getting. ;)

 
Wednesday April 7 – I didn’t have to work, so I spent half the day hunting down dark humour comics to put on my website.

I then went to another concert – I saw Faith & The Muse and Sunshine Blind – two bands from the 1990s that I adored, and still do!

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Faith & The Muse
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Sunshine Blind

 
I finally remembered to wear my knee braces, and that helped a bit with the knee pain, but within a couple of hours at the club, my lower back got angry with me. I popped a half of a Tylenol 3.
Halfway through the Faith & The Muse set, I was near tears from low back pain and mounting pelvic pain, but I stubbornly refused to walk off the floor.
During one of the brief exits by the band, I popped a whole Tylenol 3.
By the time Sunshine Blind took the stage as the special guest band, the drugs were starting to kick in, which allowed me to enjoy the show and dance a bit.
The dancing of course made the cramps angrier, and by the time we left the club, I was grunting in pain again.

This morning I woke groggy and went to work – another 11am start time, thankfully. I have been super tired for most of the day, and I have had intermittent stabbing uterine pain. I have not taken any more medication, but I will do so before bed.

One thing I realised that might have set off my pelvic pain is that since I’ve been going out to the clubs so much, I’ve been ordering Shirley Temples to drink. I wanted to have SOMETHING to drink because I have omitted alcohol from my diet – I’ve been dry for 98 days! :)
But that something has corn syrup in it. I knew that and drank it anyway. Either it’s just downtime again or the corn syrup in all those Shirley Temples over the past week have instigated early cramping. So now I go back to only water, or finding some other beverage to drink at the clubs. I learn from it and move on.

So that’s my update – overall it’s been awesome and my only regret is the poor choice of beverage with all my recent outings. I’m SO glad to have had a combination of good health and later starting hours at work to allow me to go out as often as I have been. :)

Oh! And my weight is down to 159lbs!