Thankful
George has not shown up yet today. Because of his tardiness, I was able to get in another full day of work. :)
Upon waking, I did have some pain, and was sure that by the time I was to leave for work, I’d be in full blown pain.
Instead, I was feeling annoyingly bloated, having low level cramps, and feeling like I might burst into tears at any moment. I went to work, because it was too late to arrange for a substitute teacher. I went in thinking I’d have to turn right back around within an hour.
While waiting for the parents to begin the drive-in drop-off at the school, I stood in silence, taking in the nice sunny morning. It was mostly cloudy but I could still see enough of the blue sky and feel the sun on my face. I stared at the trees in the lots surrounding the school, and I just wanted to cry my eyes out, and I could not explain to myself just why. Hello, PMS.
Although I think part of it is that I expect routine from my illness, and when it deviates, it messes with my head. When the pain is absent for too many days, I actually get hopeful - I envision my illness just vanishing, and I wonder how long it would take for me to really believe it and TRUST being pain-free. Not being bedridden today when I thought I would be gave me some hope that perhaps this cycle won’t be as harsh, and maybe it won’t even be painful at all. But 24 years of cyclical endometriosis pain seems to laugh at that notion.
Just after 9am, the pain was enough that I took what Ibuprofen I had on me - 400mg gelcaps - and waited for the “real pain” to arrive.
I was super tired for most of the day, but the pain never got above a 4 on the scale. :)
All day I have had fierce sugar cravings, and I’ve had to keep my attitude and my anxiety in check all day, because of the PMS. I swear, if I’m not experiencing pain before my period, I’m experiencing really bad PMS! I will take that over pain though!
After work, I went to my acupuncturist appointment. I was super tired, forgetful, and dazed, but not in pain! I got treatment points in the feet, legs, pelvis, left wrist, hands and ears, then after that treatment, I received treatment points in the lower back, since that’s where a lot of my pain has actually been in the past week.
When I got home, I was still feeling tired, but not as tired as I’d been before the acupuncture appointment. With a little coaxing, I convinced myself to get some housework done with this extra time on my hands.
Because george was late, I was able to work an entire shift today, go to my acupuncture appointment, fold and put away five blankets and a slew of clean towels, unload the dishwasher and load it back up again, and wash some stuff that can’t go into the dishwasher. I also cooked up some gluten-free, yeast-free pizzas for me and my husband.
All that, on a day I was supposed to be bedridden. :)
So despite my crazy emotions, I really am thankful to have had one more day without george.