Dear New Year: You’re Doing It Wrong.

A New Year is supposed to be a time of New Beginnings, New and Wonderful Things.

Instead, the year starts off with a horrible diagnosis, hate-filled and self-serving drama, more clashes between “protesters” and police, and well, the same old same old as far as my endo pain.

The horrible diagnosis is Stage II squamous cell carcinoma for my father. The news was received on January 4th. I spent 48 hours trying to get as detailed information as I could, but it was all couched in panic and high dramatic emotion from my father and step-mother. I keep being told “it’s melanoma, but the doctors say it’s not.” Well, squamous cell carcinoma is by definition non-melanoma skin cancer. It’s dangerous if left untreated, and the doctor did tell my dad that if he’d gone for a few more months, it could have been fatal. My dad and his wife are acting like it IS fatal.

It’s been hell on all of us, emotionally, to get dad to calm the hell down and take charge of his emotions and get some courage up for the treatment ahead of him. He’s chosen to take an experimental chemo treatment called Efudex for two weeks, and then he will have a Mohs surgery on February 27 to excise the cancer, which is on his temple. He’s already had upwards of 16 other cancerous lesions excised and frozen off the surface of his back, chest and hands. Now what remains is the one on his temple. He fought for over a year to get treatment, but his small-town doctor did not take the lesions seriously, and kept telling him it was psoriasis.

The hate-filled and self-serving drama relates to endometriosis support groups on the Internet. There have always been a number of splinter groups forming once a new group springs up. There have always been nasty women saying nasty things about other women, going so far as to blame women as being attention seekers and drug addicts. YEAH, JUST WHAT I WANT IN A SUPPORT GROUP. GO HUMANITY! WOOO!!! This is nothing new – it’s been going on since before I even discovered online support groups in 2007, after my first surgery.

There’s (again) been a rash of women who opened up and admitted to being suicidal, ever since an endo sister did try to end her life in December, and gained the top headlines so to speak in some endo forums as a result. The nasties lashed out, saying the others who were suicidal were just attention whores. Can you believe that?!?! OMG. Here you are, finally able to say, YES, ME TOO, I’VE BEEN IN A DARK PLACE, PLEASE HELP ME, and what you get in return is being called a drama queen attention-seeker.

Then there are those who are actually bitter about not getting replies to their posts or questions in the forums in a timely fashion, who instead of re-posting the questions until they do get an answer, simply go around bad-mouthing the group for not paying attention to them. GROW THE HELL UP, PEOPLE. There are hundreds of people on some support groups, and thousands of people on other support groups. If you post something and nobody replies to it, think of the following:

  • What time of day is it – maximize your posting for a time frame in which most people will likely be on the computer. Keep a world time zone chart handy!
  • Either bump or post your question or story a second time if you have gotten no feedback the first time.
  • Write to an admin on the support group to elicit further help to getting your story or question some air time.

 

It’s not rocket science. People need to stop being so selfish and childish. The support groups are made up of people who suffer from the same illness – not of 24/7 on-call doctors and psychologists FFS. We are there to support each other, but we are all in pain, we are all enduring family stuff, we are all trying to get work done in some fashion, and then we come to the support groups online to help ourselves and others like us. The ones who are being abusive need to be expelled.
It’s a good thing I’m not an admin, and I have been asked plenty of times to help admin different lists over the years. I’d have kicked off hundreds of people by now, I swear. I have gone through many online support groups; they start out well enough but almost always devolve into a damned Lord Of The Flies novella. It’s sickening. You could be reading this rant in the year 2000 or in the year 2027 and the same frustration will still be there. Humanity often remains so very disappointing to me.

The clashes between “protesters” and police reference is regarding the continuation of the “Occupy Wall Street” movement, specifically the branch of it that is going on near where I live. Here we are, three months later, aggressive protests and police brutality still happening, and still no direct words from the President of the United States. He was mic-checked in November in New Hampshire, but again, spent but a sound byte of time on the entire movement:


 


 

The Governor of the State of California finally broke his silence on the occupy movement on December 27, when he said he will do everything in his power, just shy of bringing in the National Guard, to keep the Port of Oakland open, should the protesters try to shut it down a third time.

Governor Brown also said, “I think the Occupy movement is focused on city halls and universities and maybe other institutions…It’s an expression of disapproval and discontent, but it’s not incorporated into the political process at this point, at least not the political process where you vote Yes or No on an initiative.”

 

The same old same old as far as my endo pain is just that. I’ll write up a separate journal entry, as this entry was mainly to blow off steam.

3 Responses to “Dear New Year: You’re Doing It Wrong.”

  1. Nicole

    *hugs* Lets pray the year gets better

  2. steph

    Indeed. Thank you for reading my blog. I have added your blog to my main site’s blog roll at http://www.livingwithendometriosis.org/
    <3

  3. brandy

    I don’t belong to any of the FB groups any longer b/c of the way the girls have been acting. your blog post completely summarizes whats going on right now.