Perimenopause?

Well here we are a full month later, and George decided to psych me out. He showed up a week ago only for one big splotch, and then left again for a whole week. He showed up again last night around four in the morning, and has gained in flow ever since.

I have consumed 1,200mg of ibuprofen today, and I worry that the pain will continue to increase. Right now, the pain is about a five on the scale. Between five and six.

Regarding the drinking, I inadvertently became completely sober this week, when I was assigned a new medication to take in dealing with the depression. I am now on Wellbutrin, and any drinking on it threatens to give me seizures amongst other horrible things. One of my friends have confirmed that Wellbutrin is a nasty thing to take with alcohol. So that is one less thing I have in my life for now to make the pain worse with Endo. I just have to watch out for eating sugar and caffeine has the other culprits.

The depression has been ever constant, and I am quite sick of it. I am hoping that the new medicine I am on well finally get me back on track with my life. I’m on four different medications now just to make my life right again. I’ll never forgive that sonofabitch for what he did.

Going back to my symptoms for moment. I have had heavy fatigue since yesterday actually, since Saturday. I slept through Saturday again. Part of it as depression, and part of it is being close to that Indo flare. I’m still able to go to work, as long as I hop myself up on ibuprofen.

More painful?

George showed up on August 31, and departed by September 5.
The heaviest, most painful days were September 1 and 2, and I’m SO lucky that I had September 2 off of work (Labor Day), otherwise my life would have really sucked.

I wonder if my period was more painful because I’ve been drinking more alcohol lately. I’ve been drinking more because I’m chronically depressed in the wake of what’s happened to me in the past year. I’m still not over the idea that my husband would be the type of person to have an affair for the better part of 2012 without my knowledge until about 3 months into the affair, and then it took me nearly 5 months to prove the damned affair was happening. He left me for her. He divorced me for her. How could this happen TO ME?!

Hence, drinking.

Is that why I’m in more physical pain?

Oh.

Time to do something about that.

August cycle

This month was a blue moon month, and also a blue cycle month. Two full moons and two cycles in one month. My friend Kristine calls my period my Wolf Time, since my periods seem to happen around the time of the full moon. ;)

This cycle began last night in the middle of the night. For a day or two prior, my body felt heavy and I was out of breath easier. I had very mild twinges of cramping, especially on Saturday. The PMS cravings were on the increase this month, a full week before my period.

This cycle is painful – I’m guessing a 7 on the pain scale. It got to be enough that I got nauseous this morning, whimpered in pain or cried out throughout the day, and finally dug into my old medicine stash of Vicoprofen.
Now I’m happily dissociated from the pain, but I’m bleeding heavily and have to go to the bathroom often.

While I’m sad to miss the Labor Day weekend’s events because of the pain, I’m happy that the worst of my pain will hopefully happen while I’m off work for the holiday, so I don’t have to miss any work.

I think my pain level is increased this month because I’ve been drinking a lot of alcohol this month. I’m still going through major depression in the wake of the divorce. Even though the divorce was final on July 5, 2013, I’m still a bit of a basketcase over it.

Today I spent the day sleeping; on the couch and in my bed. I used the heating pad all day. Right now I’m going back and forth between writing this entry, watching Ghost Hunters and watching Sleepy Hollow. I can’t seem to focus on any one thing for too long. I blame the vicoprofen. ;)