I Will Not Suffer In Silence

My last post was on April 26 and then you’ve heard nothing from me since that time. This is because I was out of country on honeymoon for most of May. :)

I just wanted to wrap up April, before my next post, which will summarise May.

April 27: Spotting with moderate cramps. I took half a Tylenol 3 after lunch at work.

April 28: Done but had cramps around 8:30pm. I took 2 motrin.

April 29: Cramps (I didn’t note the intensity of the cramps).

It must be noted that I took no time off work for endometriosis pain in April 2009.

I was off sick on the last day of the month due to sinus infection which resulted from a virus I caught from the workplace as of April 15.

I am still in awe that I was not bedridden and off of work, and I feel fortunate that the worst of the pain hit over a weekend for me.

I’ve not journaled about this until now because I wanted to make sure I got the test results back, first. And well, it was humiliating to have to go through this.

I alluded to my problem back on March 25 and March 26.

Well, on March 28 when the pain happened again during and after intimacy, I made an emergency trip to the doctor’s office.
I wasn’t due for my annual pap smear until April 20, but was told I should have it done, NOW. I want to let it be known that this is the same doctor I complained about in October, 2007 and in January, 2009. But she was the only doctor available who could see me on such short notice that day, who had access to my medical file relating to endometriosis.

During the pap smear, I was also tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STD), and was told that the test results would be due back on Thursday, April 2.

After the exam, I got dressed and waited. The doctor came back in and said to me, “How do I say this tactfully…uh…are you sure your boyfriend hasn’t been stepping out?”

First of all, he’s not my boyfriend, he’s my HUSBAND, and NO, he hasn’t been sleeping with other people. I was infuriated that this would be the first thing a doctor would suspect, given MY personal medical history, which this office has been made aware of several times.

She told me the reason why she asked the question was that the pap smear came back positive for cervicitis. I asked her if there was anything else that might cause cervicitis, because I know I don’t have a friggin STD. I cited examples of clean pap smears three times within the last ten years. The doctor shrugged and said she didn’t know of any other cause of cervicitis. What a crock of shit.

So I went home and researched it and found that a latex condom allergy could lead one to cervicitis. I thought about it some more and decided that digital play with improperly cleaned fingers and fingernails could lead me to cervicitis, as could bumping up against the anus during sexual intercourse. In my case, these are all plausible, because I am so sensitive to infections.

I called my gynecologist on Monday, March 30 to let her know I had my annual pap smear early because of an infection. We talked about everything that might lead to cervicitis. She totally agreed with me that digital play with improperly cleaned fingers and fingernails could lead me to cervicitis, as could bumping up against the anus during sexual intercourse. My gynecologist was really upset with the doctor who saw me on Saturday, saying she should have put me on antibiotics right away, to avoid the infection spreading to the fallopian tubes and ovaries and causing permanent damage. She called in doxycycline and flagyl over the phone, and I started on the antibiotics on Tuesday.

Two days later, I saw my gynecologist and she did a follow-up pelvic exam. This time I had no pain. She performed additional testing and told me the antibiotics were obviously working.

Despite knowing the above-mentioned things about my reproductive health, the STD test results from my primary care doctor were not back by Thursday, April 2.
I called on Thursday the 2nd, Friday the 3rd, Saturday the 4th, Monday the 6th, Tuesday the 7th, and Wednesday the 8th, and the goddamned results were not in. I grew angrier with my primary care doctor because she’d not checked in on me once that whole week. I would have been made to suffer an additional 12 days had I not spoken to my gynecologist.

Sometime after 8:00 at night on Thursday, April 8, the primary doctor called me to tell me that the STD tests came back negative for gonnorhea and chlamydia (DUH, AS EXPECTED), and that the pap showed no abnormal cells, no pre-cancer worries, nothing.

She stated that she doesn’t know what’s wrong with me, and to please follow up with my gynecologist.

I took the opportunity to tell her my gyn was already in the loop and was not happy with her decision to not put me on antibiotics right away. The doctor said she’d had a reason at the time for not putting me on antibiotics, but had since forgotten it.
Nice, eh?
I repeated what my gyn said - that she was afraid of permanent damage to the tubes and ovaries if the infection were allowed to proceed, and given that the lab results didn’t come back for two weeks, this is a HUGE problem for my health and safety. The doctor apologised but didn’t seem sincere in her apology.

Because I took a new job, I can no longer make my appointment with the gynecological oncologist or my endocrinologist. I had to cancel both because they are during working hours. Of course, they do not offer weekend or evening appointments, so I will be forced to take time off work. I’m going to see if I can get the appointments on Friday, may 29 - the day after I return from our honeymoon.

In the meantime, I’m glad to have proof once again that I don’t have an STD, just to shut these damned doctors up, because it’s the first thing they always leap to whenever there’s a gynecological issue, regardless of the fact that I have a documented non-STD illness in that region.

GAH THIS MAKES ME SO MAD TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERY TIME I HAVE ANOTHER COMPLICATION FROM THIS ILLNESS.

But on the other hand, I’m even more scared. They say they don’t know what’s wrong with me.

So what’s wrong with me then?

The fear creeps in. The big ‘c’ word looms regardless of the family doctor saying she saw no abnormal cells on the pap.

My husband and I were talking about what to eat for dinner, and I said I was craving Pad Thai. Then I thought for a second… didn’t I get major cramps last time I ate Pad Thai with shrimp?

Why yes. Yes I did.
Noted on January 20, 2009 and also noted on September 16, 2007.

I’m super glad that I now have everything documented on one searchable server.

I’ll be avoiding Pad Thai altogether tonight just to be safe, cuz george is due by Monday, and I’ve already had moderate pelvic pain extending down my legs to my knees all day today as it is. Although, I ate forbidden foods this morning, too — scrambled eggs and bacon.

The PMS cravings lead me to hurt myself. Why does the body do that to itself!?

Today I am feeling better.

Saturday morning, I had a revelation - getting pain two weeks before menses is due IS actually normal for me! It’s how it was for me all those years before I had surgery.

I noted it in May, 2006 and in July, 2006, a year before my surgery.

*big sigh*

So I had two good years, if you can call them good. I never experienced complete pain relief, but the surgery did at least some good: I did gain a week and a half of my life back every month for two years.

After five days of being in moderate pelvic pain, culminating with me taking a total of 1,800mg of ibuprofen on Saturday throughout the day, and capping it off with a Tylenol 3 and a heating pad….

Today I woke up in no pain and stayed that way all day.

And get this - last night I ate like complete crap. I ate gluten-free cookies, I ate Cheetos (first time in many months), I ate chocolate pudding… all that you’d think I’d be in screaming pain. But no. I ate this stuff while already being in pain. And then today - no pain. So it doesn’t matter what I do for dietary management. The pain will happen no matter what I do. This doesn’t mean I’m going to embark on a diet of chocolate cookies and cheetos - it just means I won’t be so hard on myself anymore when I don’t stick to a strict diet in some aspects. And of course with the gluten and yeast allergies anyway, I still do have to keep a strict diet.

I’m eight days away from menses. Will I stay pain-free until then? Will I experience debilitating pain on my last week on the job? Today I feel great, tomorrow I have no idea.

On Friday, the on-call GYN said it is normal with endometriosis as bad as mine to get mid-cycle pain that lasts that long, and she was right. I’d forgotten, is all. I used to get it like this before surgery. I had two good years before the shit started growing back again badly.

Time to start researching Dr. Cook, who is local, Dr. Redwine, who’s up in Oregon, and the Center for Endometriosis Care out in Georgia, because I am NOT going to go through just any OB/GYN surgeon ever again.

…annnd my ears just began stinging and feeling hot to the touch, and looking in the mirror I see they are both beet red.
I know from experience that this is a hormonal or immunological thing with me.
I had sushi for dinner with wheat-free soy sauce. However, soy sauce has phytoestrogens and yeast in it. So I’m likely having a reaction. Better my ears than my gut, I always say.
..ugh..now getting a headache and red itchy upper cheeks. :(

On Friday, as a sort of treat to myself, I went to my favourite coffee shop. I had planned to be up late on Friday and was very tired, so I thought caffination would be my best option. And it might have been had I just came straight home and had Irish tea instead of coffee.

But no, I not only had coffee, I had TRIPLE espresso.

Now here’s the thing - please refer to my No Fly List - I’m not supposed to have caffeine, nor am I supposed to have anything in the bean family. Coffee is made from coffee beans and I DO react to them.

WTF was I thinking? My rationale at the time was:

• Want treat!
• Can’t get my usual mocha because I’m not supposed to have cow’s milk so I know! How about straight up espresso then!
• Wow that’s only a little bit for a single, that won’t do. I’ll take a triple and just sip it over time.

Dumbass.

I wasn’t able to sleep til 3am Saturday and then I was only able to stay asleep for five hours before getting up for the day.

The first thing I noticed Saturday morning was how badly ALL my joints ached and throbbed. I have confirmed osteoarthritis in my cervical spine, my thoracic spine and my knees (with crepitus also present in the knees). All these areas were KILLING me starting Saturday morning.

My blood sugar was wonky for all of Saturday. I didn’t want to eat because my stomach and intestines felt gutted and pock-marked from the coffee. So the hypoglycemia got worse and I got a bad headache. And then my knuckles and cuticle-area of my fingers began to split open and bleed, which happens EVERY TIME I eat anything in the legume family.

The depression and anxiety set in today.

I went grocery shopping this afternoon, and became quite bitter over two things:

1. The scarcity and choice of gluten-free, dairy-free, high fructose corn syrup-free products that don’t taste like ass.
2. Why gluten-free, dairy-free etc products must cost an arm and a leg.

I mean, I know WHY such products cost an arm and a leg - it costs a tad more to produce, and the companies realise that by making it a ’specialty’ item, they can also cash in with extra profit because they are greedy assholes.

But for chrissakes people, if you’re going to make a cheese that is lactose-free, WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DO YOU HAVE TO PUT HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP IN IT?!?!

I found myself exclaiming aloud, “CORN SYRUP?!? Oh you have GOT to be fecking kidding me!” and I threw the cheese back down and walked off. As I walked off, a man looked up from his shopping to see what I was on about, and peered over at the cheese in question. GOOD. I hope he gets on a rant, too.

I was also disturbed to discover that my favourite brand of chunk light tuna fish, which is packed in water, also contains soy. WHY did I never see this before? It’s because I trusted the front of the can - when it says it’s packed in WATER, I trusted that it’s JUST water, not ALSO “vegetable broth (soy)” as listed in the ingredients on the back of the can!

First off, I can’t have soy. Soy can’t be trusted to not be genetically modified. Soy is in the legume family and I am allergic to legumes - I get atopic dermatitis flareups. Soy contains phytoestrogens, which are bad for people with endometriosis.

Secondly, eating tuna packed in water vs. vegetable oil is healthier for you because it contains less calories and fat.

Third, tuna packed in water retains more omega-3 oils than tuna packed in vegetable oil.

This is my life - I constantly have to recheck foods I’ve previously approved because I end up missing something, or there’s been a reduction in quality to save a few bucks and cheaper/dangerous ingredients have been added or substituted.

I had to go through all the cans of tuna on the shelves to find any that might have ONLY TUNA AND WATER and no other added ingredients. I had to literally sit on the floor as if in a library, checking out the books on the bottom shelf. Ugh.
I finally found canned tuna in water and water only, but it was only 4.5oz rather than the usual 6oz can.

Of course, the can of tuna that does not contain additional destructive ingredients but contains roughly ⅙ less amount of tuna is twice the price as the other cans of tuna. It comes in a fancy gold can, and is branded with a heart logo which reads “natural source of OMEGA-3″ and “VERY LOW SODIUM”.
Further, it’s not the tuna I want. It’s not chunk light tuna. It’s albacore tuna, which contains more mercury than light meat tuna.

So let’s get this straight… you’re telling me to choose between SOY added to my tuna, or mercury poisoning?

WTF!!!!!!!

My mental stability began to degrade further at this point. I talked out loud again, cursing the fact that I now have to spend more money even for my tuna, just because of my health issues.

To top it all off, when I got home from the grocery store, I found more ants in the kitchen.

I had a full on crying breakdown at that point.

I’ve spent the past week not eating in the house because the sight of ants takes away my appetite. It’s winter in California, therefore everyone’s house is under attack by tiny ants. It’s just how it goes.
I’ve been grabbing what little food I’ve had left in the fridge and taking it with me to work this past week - eating breakfast on the way or when I get in to work. When I got home from work, I didn’t eat dinner, or I went out to eat instead.
I thought two applications of borax/sugar gel from the exterminator (he showed up for a second time this past week), and all the orange ‘Bugs R Done’ spray I’ve been applying would surely have killed those suckers off by now.
But no.

So I was not eating, and at night I was suffering nightmares of waking up with ants on my face. Then I top off the week with a deadly treat.

Nice going.

So here I am, supposed to be in bed, and I’m not tired, and I have anxiety, and my entire spine from top to bottom is aching.

All because I had coffee on Friday.

I want to stay up all night researching the biology and mechanics of caffeine on the system, so I can blog about it on the main site, but I can’t. It’s one more thing to add to my extensive list of things to research for myself and others, so we have more than “I was told I should stay away from this” and really know WHY we MUST stay away from it.

You’d think that after nearly nine years of diet modification and identifying foods that make things worse for me, that I’d have developed enough discipline to stay away from those bad foods. Instead, I’ve just become bitter and resentful, and every now and then I cry out “I deserve a treat dammit! I want that tasty food too!”
And I suffer the consequences. I’m not really saying I deserve a treat after all, am I?

What I’m really saying is that I think it’d be a fine day to punish myself. Wow I’m feeling GREAT, I think I’ll give myself a nasty food reaction. Yeah! Now doesn’t that feel better!

My cousin, who has end stage hepatitis C, is totally right. He was ranting to me about similar in recent months. He said, “We could be dyin’ from a bullet wound and shoot ourselves again. Hey that’s not enough pain, gimme a knife!”

Yep.

When will I learn.

Today I had a consultation with a new doctor at the local family practice.

After not being treated right by another doctor there, I had gone ahead and requested a new doctor be appointed as my primary. However, I wanted to interview him, first.

I indicated that I have an autoimmune disorder, and noted it as Endometriosis. I described the illnesses which I believe to be tied in my autoimmune disorder:

• Acute Pancreatitis (1992)
• Allergies (my entire life)
• Stage III Endometriosis (pain since onset of menses in 1985, diagnosis in 2007)

I told the doctor that I need a special care plan so that a primary doctor can be the anchor to all the specialists that I have (endocrinologist, allergist, gynecologist, immunologist). I need for all these doctors to talk to each other and for all their findings about me to be placed centrally with my primary family doctor.

So after all the things I told him, and after glancing at the medical history on me that I printed out regarding the bullet points above, this doctor disagreed with me, saying he does not believe I have an autoimmune disorder, and cited his 20 years of experience as a medical doctor to just sit there, look at me today, and make his judgement

OH.

OKAY.

I SEE.

“High rates of autoimmune and endocrine disorders, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and atopic diseases among women with endometriosis: a survey analysis” - Human Reproduction, 2002

“Multiple endometrial antigens are targeted in autoimmune endometriosis,” - Reproductive Medicine Online, June, 2008

“Human endometriosis is associated with plasma cells and overexpression of B lymphocyte stimulator,” - Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, July, 2007

Gee doc, I guess you’re right. I don’t have an autoimmune disorder. In fact, I don’t even have Stage III Endometriosis. It’s all in my head, just like my momma and all the doctors in my teen years told me.

I guess I should just shut the hell up - it’s just part of being a woman after all.

…

I printed out all three of those research articles above and mailed it to my doctor for additional documentation to add to my file. But I don’t have hope that he’ll come around and be the anchor to all the specialists that I so desperately need. So now I’m on the hunt for an entirely new family doctor’s office.

And boy am I pissed off.

Around 9:30-10pm tonight, I was sitting on the couch watching TV with my husband when the pain set in again. Only this time, it was far worse than the pain I’d had all day.

Going by the Mankoski Pain Scale, I was a 7 all day. But tonight, it reached 8.5.

All day, I’d gotten by with Motrin and half a Tylenol 3 at regular dose intervals. But tonight when the pain reached 8.5, I took a full Tylenol 3, did the ‘child’s pose’ yoga pose, stretched my back, did my breathing exercises… none of it helped.

It wasn’t until I took a second Tylenol 3 that the pain slowly diminished. Normally I’d be passed out by now but I’m left with jaw clenching from all the codeine. Not good for my old TMJ problem (going back to the head injury in the car accident in ‘94).

My husband wondered if I might be developing a tolerance to the Tylenol 3.

How?

I only take it once a month for a few days at a time. And today, I was stoned silly on just half a Tylenol 3 every 4 hours.

I hope he’s not right.

In any case, the pain finally went away. The bleeding ramped up but not by a lot during the pain spike.

I put myself in all my pain moment on video. First time I did that. I’ll post the video tomorrow.

The reason for the pain spike? I am wondering now if it was the eggs that were mixed into the pad thai I had for dinner. I tried to pick the egg bits out but I probably didn’t get them all.

Last time I ate eggs while menstruating - I had them sunny side up and ate them for dinner - this was in April, 2008 - and I ended up on the floor screaming in pain and had to be taken to E.R..

I’ve got an egg allergy that normally leaves me with racing heart and panic feelings. But when combined with endometriosis flareup, it makes for much danger.

That’s all I can think caused the pain spike tonight. Tiny bits of egg.

I have NOT started the antibiotics yet. It’s complicated. The short story is that I’ve reached my breaking point in not being treated accordingly for my health condition; namely, that I have an autoimmune disorder which needs specialised care as opposed to symptom-based care.

The long story:

On Monday, I went to the doctor on self-diagnosis of sinus infection, and I wanted confirmation as to whether this was the case. I expected to get my ears, nose and throat looked at, the lymph nodes in my neck examined, rule out an ear infection, and possibly get scheduled for x-ray to rule out sinus infection.

None of that happened. Instead, I was flat out denied anything but over the counter drugs (Mucinex, Ocean® brand nasal spray, Tylenol), and was told to come back in 4 days if I was not better to get a prescription for Xanax, to take along with Sudafed, because I’d noted that I would not take Sudafed because the pseudoephedrine makes my heart race and gives me panic attacks.

I called the doctor’s office 2 days later and complained about my doctor. I demanded to be seen by another doctor. Instead of an appointment being made to be seen and properly looked at, another doctor prescribed antibiotics over the phone.

Result: I have no idea what I’ve got. I only have my assumptions. Does this even get documented in my medical file? How do I establish a pattern to tie it in w/ the immune deficiency stuff?

Here is part of my health profile:

• Endometriosis is an autoimmune disease.
  

• When I was 6 years old, I became allergic to the weekly allergy shots I was being given. My ma said the pediatrician told her I was allergic to my own germs. What that translated to, and I didn’t know it for years, was a giant red flag. Being allergic to your own germs means you have an autoimmune disorder. Instead of ma getting me some specialised care, she dropped the ball entirely. Why? Because we were butt-ass poor. So I grew up being sick constantly, which cost her more in the long run emotionally and financially.
  

• I have suffered from acute sinus infections since childhood, and it is known that “Acute sinusitis is much more common in certain patients than in the general population. For example, sinusitis occurs more often in patients with reduced immune function”. I even developed bronchitis at least once every two years through high school. It didn’t help that my ma is to this day a pack-a-day smoker who keeps the house sealed up, so I had to grow up a smoker along with her, even though I gagged and breathed shallow and lived in my bedroom to try to avoid it.
  

• When I was 21 years old, I developed acute pancreatitis, which can also be triggered by autoimmune disease. The E.R. doctor chalked it up to me being an alcoholic, because I was 21 years old, in college, and it was New Year’s Eve. What he didn’t care about was my history of severe allergies, the fact that I was raised extreme Christian and was working as a toddler teacher for a Christian daycare. Does this look like a raging alcoholic to you???
  

• In 2006, I was doing diet elimination for pain management of the endometriosis, and when I added back in wheat and yeast, my body flipped out. My allergist strongly suspects Celiac Disease and wants me to go for an endoscopy but so far, I’ve been a bit skittish and have just been abstaining from glutenous foods in the meantime.
  

• For most of my life, if not all of it, I’ve had a low body temperature. Normal for me is 97.4°F. I’ve read that it’s still within the normal range, and numerous thyroid blood tests over the years have come back negative for hypothyroidism, but I think it’s wrong that I’m always freezing cold. On a 90°F day, I can catch a chill taking a nap.

There’s more, but like the thyroid issue, other stuff still needs official confirmation/diagnosis for me to start really talking about it.
So I am mad. I want correct treatment again, based upon my medical condition, not being moved along like cattle on a conveyor belt.

For too many years, I have not received proper care. I think the last time any doctor tried to look into my entire medical history and treat me accordingly was a doctor down in San Jose. That’s about seven years ago. I can’t even remember her name, for shame.

When we go to a doctor’s office, we expect personalised care. If I wanted conveyor belt treatment, I’d go to a walk-in clinic. This is how my doctor’s office seems to be run. I disapprove. I am sending a complaint letter and based upon the reply I get (if any at all), I may have to shop for a new doctor’s office all together.

And in the meantime, I’ll start the antibiotics Real Soon Now. I have an appointment with the new doctor on the 24th, but I’m not sure I can wait that long. My ears are threatening to explode. Taking 1200mg twice a day of the Mucinex has not expelled forth the mucous as promised, nor has the neti pot and nasal spray helped.

The doctor says I don’t have a sinus infection. She didn’t look inside my mouth, nose or ears. She sat across the room from me and emphatically stated I do not have a sinus infection and will not prescribe antibiotics.

I rehashed my medical history for this woman, noting all the autoimmune issues I have (allergies, gluten intolerance, pancreatitis, endometriosis) but she refused to budge.

She told me to do the same thing she told me last time which didn’t work; use Mucinex and Ocean saline, and if that doesn’t help, use Sudafed. I told her the last time I tried the Mucinex and Ocean saline, I still had to come back a week later and get antibiotics for a full on sinus infection. I asked if she’d prescribe by phone so I don’t have to waste my money when I know I’m right. She said NO, she will not prescribe antibiotics by phone, she has to see me.

She explained how the sinus cavities worked, and told me that the ones I’m complaining about in particular are the Maxillary sinus cavities, which have a problem of properly draining because the ducts to those cavities are located up towards the bridge of the nose.
She told me that blowing my nose just blows the snot back into these cavities, and what I really should be doing is snorking the snot back up my nose, down into my throat, and spitting it.
Sounds sexy.

She told me again she’d really like for me to take Sudafed.

I told her I can’t take Sudafed - the pseudoephedrine in it makes my heart race and gives me panic attacks. She told me to use Sudafed P.E., instead. I told her I can’t even take that, because it also makes me loopy.
Her reaction was basically ‘oh well’ which if I recall, was her reaction last time, too. I asked if she’d give me xanax to go with the fecking Sudafed then - she said YES.

WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE DOCTOR IS THIS!?!?

And then I remembered, I was reading back through my journal lately, and I was supposed to have fired this doctor. As a matter of fact, I tried to but it didn’t get noted, and then I just got lazy and didn’t follow up.
This time it’s final. She’s fired. Doctor Mary Fisher is fired. I want to appoint Dr. Sellman instead. Let it be noted.

SO to rehash, when Steph is exposed to someone who has a cold and/or brewing sinus issues, Steph is to immediately take the following steps:

• Always carry Life Shield Throat Defense and spray it in back of my throat immediately after I think I’ve been exposed.
• Begin using neti pot immediately once I am feeling stuffed up OR have runny nose.
• Continue taking vitamin C and zinc, but double up on it.
• Scale back on carbs and drink and eat LOTS of fluids, continuously.
• Start flushing nose with Ocean spray, and snork the snot back into my throat and spit, rather than blow my nose, to properly drain the maxillary sinuses.
• Take Mucinex to ensure the sinuses are not clogging up.
• Take Tylenol for sinus pain.

I did everything right except for flushing with Ocean spray, snorking the snot and taking Mucinex and Tylenol.

So next time, and there WILL be a next time, I have to do those bullet points before I come whining to a doctor.

FINE. Fine, I’ll play ball. AGAIN.

I just hope I don’t have to prove her wrong again because ya know, normally I’m a “it’s the point of the matter” kind of person and will fight to the death, but right now, with my health, I don’t WANT to be right. I just want this over with. I’ve been sick since January 4th - it started with yellow boogers and went full on madness the evening of January 5th after being exposed to baby fever germs.

I want a strong built up immune system - please to be acclimating to the kidlets, dear immune system!

And right this second, I want bed. But laundry must be finished. *sigh*

I appear to be getting worse. I already realised I wasn’t feeling better Thursday and Friday, and on Friday afternoon, the baby I care for through the week got a fever again, despite being on antibiotics since Monday night or Tuesday.

It doesn’t help that I didn’t rest yesterday - I helped clean house a bit, then took B to a diner to load up on protein, then took him to the Tiki bar for six hours for his birthday drink-a-thon (I only had virgin drinks thankyouverymuch). During our stay at the tiki bar, even though all I did was sit in a chair, I could feel the symptoms worsening. It felt like I was breathing underwater. I felt fuzzy and discombobulated. I remarked to the people who’d been consuming alcohol that I fit right in, in that sense, because I sure as shit didn’t feel ’sober’. All the benefits without the making an ass of myself and hangover I guess…

After our last friends departed, B finished his last drink for the evening and I shuffled him off to the car, poured him into said car, and took him home.

HOWEVER! He was pretty damned drunk and wanted to go dancing. There was only an hour and a half left of Club Gossip, and B was rearin to go for it. He was singing and swinging at the air - getting pretty rowdy.

Not wanting to deal with a feisty drunk on my own, I decided to indulge him in his desire to go dancing, cuz I had no energy to go for a long ‘walk-it-off’ in the cold night air. So I drove us to the club and directed B to the water pitchers on the counter. Thankfully, within a short time after we arrived, the bar stopped serving alcohol, so I didn’t have to worry about B trying to keep his buzz going. He drank water, danced and worked off the drunkenness. YAY!

I ended up dancing - on the first song I danced to, my knee became really painful again. Definitely time to start wearing knee braces on a regular basis again. I danced carefully to about 5 or 6 songs, worked up a good sweat, and figured that might do wonders to getting the gunk out of my system.

Bar closed, we went home, I popped some NyQuil gelcaps and went to bed.
I noticed my neck was hurting again, too. It was from the dancing again, but made worse I’m sure by the fact that I can still feel that my lymph nodes are still swollen.

Slept til around 12:30pm, only waking cuz B was leaving for band practice.

I’ve had the Green Goo since Friday morning. I’m not waiting for another week to pass like the Interwebs tell me to before I see a doctor. I know I have a sinus infection. I know that anytime someone has a cold which infects me, that it WILL turn into a sinus infection, cuz I have a weakened immune system due to the Endometriosis. The thing which I got all through childhood and into my teen years was sinus infections and bronchitis. At the drop of a hat. BAM. sick.

This latest round took about 8 hours to floor me and put me in the current state of SnotFest. I felt it happening last Sunday and when I blew my nose, I had yellow boogers. I didn’t feel like death warmed over though. My fate was sealed as I felt further infestation on Monday when I went to work and dealt with a baby running a fever who’d been sick for days. She coughed or sneezed on me, a droplet hit my lower lip, and by evening time, I was horking sinus myself and the death was settling in at full speed ahead.

Wheeeee.

On the bright side, B didn’t have a hangover and had a really good time yesterday.