No work missed so far in 2012 ;)

I made it through work today! It took 1,200mg Ibuprofen and half a muscle relaxer (the back/neck are still locking up, but not all the time), but I made it! YAY!

And then I took my husband out to sushi dinner, cuz today’s his birthday! The owners made him a special dish:

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Now that the endo flare is over, I’m golden until the end of the month. Gotta be strong and adhere to the goals:

  • Go sugar-free again.
  • Do a better job from abstaining from alcohol again.
  • Be serious about gluten-free baking at home, so I cut down on processed foods.
  • Start biking to work every day again.
  • Keep posting more positive entries – what I can do, as opposed to what my limitations are – and post between cycles, as opposed to during or right after an endo flare.

 

I have a few additional goals:

  • See if I can manifest the idea I had recently to gift fellow endo sisters, to share positivity and love.
  • Make a video update on how my life has been since surgery in December, 2010.
  • Finish editing and then upload two more humourous videos I’d done in the past year or so.

January 2012 cycle

After 16 consecutive pain-free days, george reared his ugly head once again. The term “pain-free” is really a misnomer, though, because I was in a ton of pain during those 16 days, but it wasn’t endometriosis related. I had a pinched nerve in the neck, which radiated down my left shoulder and arm, and caused much of my upper and mid back to go into spasm. I had little to no mobility of the head without intense pain. The pain also radiated upwards, causing migraines. It all began when I tilted my head back to put in antihistamine eye drops before work on December 14.

The uptime that I would have had for 16 days was completely removed by the pinched nerve. I went through two different muscle relaxers, and was also eating Advil like candy and taking regular doses of Tylenol 3. I was scheduled for physical therapy and potentially a cortisone injection to quell the pain. I bought a TheraCane, which helped only a tiny bit (but having that cane long term is a good idea).

And then, just as I was entering the next menses cycle, with lower back pain ramping up, the upper back and neck pain eased up! Thank goodness, because I can only handle one big pain mess at a time!!

Since the first day of my cycle this month, I have not had any pinched nerve in the neck issues, and I’ve had full mobility back again.

ON TOP of the pinched nerve and the endometriosis, I ALSO developed pink eye for the SIXTH time in three months, because I wore eye makeup with some kind of ingredient in it that hates my eyes. This time mascara was not the culprit – it was black eyeliner with glitter in it, which I wore on New Year’s Eve. The pink eye hit about 36 hours later, on January 2.
Perhaps I had used that eyeliner during one of my other bouts with pink eye, and it was therefore contaminated and reinfected my eye. I don’t know, but I threw it away this time, along with my other eyeliners. Ugh, it’s getting to be too expensive for me to wear makeup, I swear.
I had leftover antibiotic eye drops, so I have been putting those in four times a day for the past week, while dealing with trapped nerve pain (so THAT’S been interesting, having to lay down or lean back, because tilting the head hurt too much) and also dealing with premenstrual cramping.

The cramping had set in on December 30, and was likely the result of me drinking coffee during vacation. Caffeine always kicks up pelvic pain for me. I know better. I was a bad monkey. I could have given myself a few extra days without premenstrual cramps had I just stayed away from the caffeine.
By January 2, I thought for sure george was going to be early. I was urinating more frequently, and felt a fullness in the uterus, so I was checking for bleeding all day Monday and Tuesday. On Tuesday, I actually had no cramps until 8:40pm, when began an increasing stinging pain in my hips, moving inward towards uterus, triggering my bladder.

On Wednesday, I had intermittent pain throughout the day, worsening in the evening when I was at a meeting for a paranormal group that I volunteer for. That night, my entire back from top to bottom was seizing, because I was still also dealing with the pinched nerve pain.

George didn’t actually show up until Thursday – a day late – while I was at work. I had been wearing a pad for a few days, so I was prepared. The low back pain was brutal that day, and was aggravated by all the stooping and bending that I do as a preschool teacher. I ate 2 half pills of muscle relaxers that day, and 800mg Advil gel caps. I looked pretty ill at lunch hour that day, and two teachers commented on it.

On Friday, my head teacher and the two teachers from the previous day were surprised to see me at work. My head teacher said she was told I wouldn’t be in. I gave a contemptuous look and assured my head teacher that I would have phoned her myself, as well as the school, if I were not coming in. She replied that she thought so, and said she was confused by what people had said. I told her that it was likely the two teachers from the previous day, who saw me in pain at lunch hour, and who also know about my endometriosis. My head teacher asked me if that was acting up, and I said it was. I told her I was doing well at the moment, and that I hoped for the best, since I’d been pre-medicating for days.

The pain set in not long after class started, because as a preschool teacher I had to go right into the stooping and bending to interact with children. I consciously used the Alexander Technique as best I could the entire day. Between that, the muscle relaxers and Advil, I was able to get through the work day. That’s not to say it wasn’t a bad day; I bled through two pads, to my underwear, TWICE. Good thing I was wearing black slacks. The pain was at 6.5 on the pain scale for much of the day, though I had entered the workplace at about a 3 on the scale.
It took 2 half muscle relaxers and 1,200mg Advil gel caps to get through the day. The pain ramped further when I got home, despite taking a whole Tylenol 3, a half muscle relaxer, and 400mg Advil.
Before bed, I took another half Tylenol 3 and a whole muscle relaxer. I had intermittent cramps throughout the night.

That brings us up to Saturday – which was yesterday.
I conserved my energy, missing out on one of my husband’s birthday functions during the day. He was at a local game store playing table-top games with friends from 11am to 7pm, while I stayed at home playing it safe, trying to avoid the pain.
I took a continual amount of Advil gel caps throughout the day, and the pain level stayed at about a 4 on the pain scale.

I was able to accomplish some minor housework, which pleased me greatly.

Last night, I joined my husband for dinner at a local German restaurant. I have not had any alcohol in the New Year, because I knew the endo flare was on its way. For dinner, I chose grilled salmon on a bed of spinach.

I made all the right choices, and yet, the pain flared while I was out at dinner. One of our friends remarked that I was looking ‘green’.
I was in fact about a 7 on the pain scale. I broke the ‘no booze during an endo flare’ rule in order to attempt faster drug delivery to the blood stream. I drank some brandy with my Tylenol 3 and Soma. It really did help.
After dinner, my husband and I came back home, and I curled up in bed with the heating pads and passed out from the pain meds.

This morning, I awoke to debilitating pain from one end of my spine to the other, spread out across my back and throughout my pelvis. I was at 8.5 on the pain scale and whimpering a lot. I took a full Tylenol 3 and a full Soma, and the drugs took hold within 20 minutes. This thankfully lowered me back down to a 4 on the pain scale.
Moving around wasn’t really an option, as it brought the pain back up again.
As a result of having to take drugs first thing in the morning, I was barely functional, falling asleep at the keyboard from the drugs. My husband made me a bit of breakfast to eat, and then I passed back out again until afternoon.

I have spent the entire day in bed. I got out of bed long enough to make myself a late lunch, and this rekindled the pelvic pain, so back to bed I went, with my food, even.

This is not how I like to spend my weekends. I’m tired of doing this for 26 years. I’m tired of having spent thousands of dollars on two surgeries that have not made me pain-free. This is no way to live.

I really hope this endo flare is done by tomorrow, because I have to be back at work.

It is now 6pm, and I will get out of bed and move around. I’ve been getting out of bed every one to two hours to move around and test the waters on my body’s mobility and threshold.

…6:37pm: so far so good. I’m leaving the house to go grocery shopping with my husband!

…7:52pm: At the grocery store, my legs got weak and felt like giving out several times. I walked slowly and forced one foot in front of the other. Leg weakness is common with endo and me. The nerves radiating down from the pelvis must still be inflamed or impinged with the endo flare, because the signal does not reach correctly in the legs.
When we got home, I was helping put groceries away when I almost fainted. I literally felt myself go dark and dizzy, and then my eyes popped wide and I held onto the countertop. Now I have nausea. It’s not hypoglycemia – I ate 4 hours ago and I’m not feeling hungry. This is different from hypoglycemia. I know this feeling. It happens right before crushing pain from passing more clots. The rest of tonight should be interesting. I hope it all gets itself over with before work tomorrow!

Happy New Year!

Holy Moly, how did we roll into another year already?!?

Rather than chronicling all the bad stuff, let’s catch you up on some good things:

My uptime (no endo pain) began on December 14, and continued for 15 days!
December 22 was the last day of work for the winter break, and I got to spend good quality time with my husband and our local friends. I don’t normally celebrate winter holidays with family, because I live clear across the country from them, but I did get to talk to my family by phone. I even got to attend a party with my Michigan friends via Skype!

applestoapplesviaskype

a very skype christmas

 
Giftmas, as I call it, was happily low-key. I am quite loved by my students and workplace, as there were a great many gift cards, hand-made gifts, and other wonders! From the gift cards, I received a bounty of new books to read. My husband got me a digital EMF detector, because I like to ghost-hunt, and because I’m also sensitive to EMF, so reducing it or avoiding it early and often is key for my well-being!

We spent Dec. 25 at a friend’s house; they are like family, so it is a relaxing, cozy environment. We went dancing on Dec. 26, and for New Year’s Eve, we went to two local bars to celebrate with friends and acquaintances.

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My husband and I also watched a lot of Rome – an HBO miniseries. Our friend loaned it to us on DVD and we’ve been enjoying the hell out of it. I’m a bit of a history nerd, so we’ve been watching the series with the historical captions function activated. :)

During the endo uptime…actually from day 1 of the endo uptime…the discs in my neck pinched a nerve, and I have been dealing with that since December 14. It was the second time in a month that the discs pinched on a nerve in my neck; the same happened back on November 20, but the pain only lasted 3 days before righting itself. The pain this time was so bad for so long, that I missed 3 days of work. I spent all of winter break moderately to heavily medicated on muscle relaxers, Tylenol 3 and Advil. The doctor wants to do cortisone injections, which I put on hold until I got the results back from allergy patch tests to see if I have a sensitivity to cortisoids (I don’t, according to the patch test). My Ma had a really bad experience with cortisone treatment, and she and I are both highly allergic to penicillin. Because I share similar allergies to hers, I wanted to be tested before undergoing further treatment.

The joke during this time was that although I had pain, it was nothing compared to the endo pain!!

Excerpt from Facebook:
Definition of stubborn: driving self to doctor & errands on Tylenol 3 & Soma (pinched nerve is worse after trying new neck pillow). HEY, this is nothing compared to endometriosis pain! lulz
-December 30, 2011 at 1:05pm

 

I’d love to have muscle relaxers for each endo flare, too, but A) they’re addictive and B) they make me fat and depressed, so I usually steer clear of muscle relaxers unless the discs act up.

Of course, now that I’m cleared for cortisone injections, my neck decided to ease up! It was the longest period of time that I can recall pinched nerve activity. It was pretty brutal.

On Dec. 26 and Dec. 31, I wore eyeliner when I went out with friends, but for some reason, my eye hated the same eyeliner on NYE. Two days later – that’s today – I developed pink eye. It’s the SIXTH TIME since October 3, 2011 that I’ve had pink eye, all of which started around the time I began using Maybelline Great Lash mascara. I got a chemical and environmental allergy panel done at the end of December, and it did come back as suspect for sensitivity/allergy to cosmetics ingredients. I say suspect, because one doctor said YES it’s positive, and one doctor and one nurse said NO, it’s inconclusive. Damned doctors. No, of course there was no blood test – only skin patch test.

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So although I’ve been sick with one thing or another throughout December, I am still happy to report 16 days of consecutive uptime between menstrual cycles. There is positivity in there, I swear!

I also went to the dispensary during winter break, which has become famous overnight, as it’s now part of a television series called Weed Wars. I re-signed up for acupuncture, reiki, chiropractic, yoga and the alexander technique. Most of these services are now experiencing a 3 month wait due to recent fame for the dispensary, and of course it’s wall-to-wall people at all hours, now. I’m really happy for the dispensary, and also feeling a bit selfish for wanting services sooner. ;)

I will finish my New Year’s entry with a list of goals for 2012:

  • Go sugar-free again.
  • Do a better job from abstaining from alcohol again (I know, that few-times-a-week glass of wine is awesome tasting and relaxing, but may not be doing your cramps any good!)
  • Be serious about gluten-free baking at home, so I cut down on processed foods.
  • Start biking to work every day again.
  • Start posting more positive entries – what I can do, as opposed to what my limitations are. It doesn’t have to be one or the other, but just not all negative chronicling all the time.
  • See if I can manifest the idea I had recently to gift fellow endo sisters, to share positivity and love.

And for my next trick, a pinched nerve!

(reposted from facebook)

Yesterday was really rough for me emotionally. I hadn’t even fully emerged from several days of endometriosis pain when my upper back/neck went out. This is the second time in a month that a pinched nerve issue has cropped up – it used to happen all the time when I worked at a desk, but since changing careers, the pinched nerve issue is rare. This is a really bad one, and is still on fire today, despite pounding myself with muscle relaxers and Advil all afternoon/night. I’m tired of being in pain. You have no idea how tired.
December 15, 2011 at 6:59am

It’s PMS time ALREADY?!?

The last time I blogged was on November 9. The pain abated by November 11, and so I decided again to try bicycing to work. I seemed to be okay, so I pedaled to work again on November 12, despite the trapped nerve resurfacing overnight once again from all the stress I’m under. Speaking of stress, I began taking Ativan again – on November 11. :(

On November 13, I participated in my friend’s wedding. It was beautiful. :)

The grooms

The grooms

The cake cutting!

The cake cutting!


My husband

My husband

Me

Me


The only thing though, we all drank for about 12 hours that day. I had a total of 3 glasses of wine and two and a third hard alcoholic drinks in the course of those 12 hours. Not bad, but then again I shouldn’t be drinking at all with autoimmune disease. Hell, I got more drunk the night before, at the rehearsal dinner, heh. I think I drank 2/3 a bottle of wine that night…

During the wee hours of Sunday morning, a virus within me had activated and let loose on my maxillary sinuses. It felt like my runny nose coated my pillow. Ugh. I’ve been sneezing and blowing my nose ever since.

I tried resuming bicycling to work Monday and Tuesday this week, but with the virus making me excruciatingly tired (like, wanting to be in bed by 8pm), I decided to not bicycle to work today.

Because of the virus, I have renewed heightened sensitivity to dust, mold, perfumes and chemicals in general. This of course did not stop me from getting super PMS-tastic last night and using Tilex diluted in hot water to scrub moldy window sills – without a mask. WTF!!

Also, the biggest WTF right now is Mittelschmerz. It hit like clockwork on Day 8 of the new cycle – yesterday the 16th. And ever since yesterday, I’ve been trying to eat all the chocolate on the planet. Tonight, I wanted alcohol, and I’ve been imbibing on liquor in the house. The boozing is in part to the stress I’m under at work, and in part due to nightmares I’ve had for two nights straight.

This upper respiratory tract infection is not helping with my stress level. I know I shouldn’t be drinking, especially with a virus going on, and yet I have no control over my cravings and wants right now.

I’m experiencing mid-cycle pain, PMSing, and my period is already due by next Saturday, even though just last week, I was just coming off my period. This so-called 25 day cycle is for the birds.

So I just wanted to let you know where it’s at – I’m PMSing, chocolate-gorging, stressed out, drug-addled on Ativan and Benadryl, and totally having a pity party over the Blue Moon Menstrual Cycle this month.

Yeah, pity me. Wah. Boo hoo.

I listened to myself for once

I did not take Plan B.

My period was only a day late.

Actually, it was on time. My period was a day early last month, so I had revised the next due date from November 2 to November 1, but it arrived anyway on November 2.

The mucosa changed colour to pink Monday afternoon, along with increased anal bleeding, which is so common right before every period.

By late Monday night, I thought I was spotting, but it was so faint and intermittent that I wasn’t sure.

By Tuesday afternoon, I definitely was spotting. It was still intermittent though, and it consisted of dark pinkish-brown debris. This continued all day. I needed 1,200mg Advil gel-caps to get through the day.

It was not until 9pm Tuesday night that the first few drops of dark reddish-brown blood appeared.

I was so exhausted that I wanted to go to bed at 9pm, but I forced myself to shower, first. I fell asleep immediately after my shower.

I woke at 4am in pain, to find that the bleeding had increased. The colour was and remains now a dark red.

I woke three more times before my alarm went off this morning – each time to empty the bladder & uterus.

When my alarm went off at 6:30am, I woke to discover the splitting headache and trapped nerve in my left shoulder had resurfaced. Great. This is what, the fifth time since September 14? I called in sick to work between that pain and the pelvic pain.

I took 1/2 Tylenol 3 and 600mg Advil gel-caps with my breakfast, which consisted of two gluten-free waffles with non-dairy butter, and a chopped banana. I had goat milk to drink.

I tried to go back to bed but was freezing cold, despite the fact that the house was/is at 69°F.
The pain increased, and I could not get comfortable. The pain was a steady gnawing in the low uterus and lower back. No sharp stabs, but the gnawing was enough to drive me crazy. I writhed about and moaned and cried. I was easily an 8.5 on the pain scale. I asked my husband for a full Tylenol 3 pill, and I placed three lidocaine patches on me (left shoulder, low back, low pelvis). I got the lidocaine patches from my neighbor, and I definitely want to ask if my doctor will prescribe them for me.

I passed out within 20 minutes of one and a half Tylenol 3, 600mg Advil and the lidocaine patches, as well as doubled-up blankets and higher setting on the heating pad took effect. I slept for about three hours (waking up 4 times to bathroom) before being rudely awakened for the day by my head teacher texting me with a condescending message about my sub being late to work today. As if it was MY fault! WTF!!!

After this cycle is over, I have an appointment to see my dentist for a jaw splint. It will be the first time in 15 years that I’ve needed to wear one. I blame the high stress of the summer courses, the unfinished homework for the practicum, my first year as a teacher intern, as well as my bed and pillows for the resurfacing of the TMJ that I sustained in a head-on auto accident in 1994. I’d managed the TMJ so well all these years, but it’s all just too much right now. We just got a new bed and pillows a year ago, but one year on already, it’s not the right bed for me. It’s too soft once again.
I also have not had the bulging discs in my neck looked at in 3 years. It’s probably time to have another X-ray or MRI to see if the discs have degenerated further.

As to my mental state, which some have fretted over on my behalf, it is stable. I have been remembering to take No-Flush Niacin every day, along with my other vitamins noted here.
I have been less depressed overall in the past week.

Anxiety remains high, and my shrink just refilled my Lorazepam prescription at a lower dose (.5mg) but I have not started taking it again because I fear it was contributing towards my depression. Still, because my surgery is only 44 days away, I picked up the prescription, because in the days just before surgery, I know I will need the anti-anxiety medication.

I am guessing that the minor delay in my period, as well as the intense pain on the first day, is related to either me eating red meat (steak and ham) on several occasions this past month, and/or due to the amount of corn-syrup-ladden candy I consumed over this past Halloween weekend. It’s not something I do all the time, of course, but I do have my lapses.

5:26pm Edit:
I’ve taken Tylenol 3 continuously today:
around 8am (half pill)
around 8:40am (whole pill)
around 2pm (whole pill)
around 5pm (whole pill)

Despite that, I’ve been at 7 or higher on the pain scale all day today. The pain right now is much sharper than it has been all day. No longer only gnawing with molars, now its using its canines, too!

I still have on the same lidocaine patches from this morning and am thinking about renewing them. I also have been gifted almond oil from my same neighbor – I can try massaging that in and see if it helps.

October pain noted


 
Click image for bigger size.

Least functional day today

This morning I awoke in searing pain around 7am and took one Tylenol 3. I think I also took some Advil, but I cannot remember how much.

I was bedridden til 3:30pm, when I got so fed up with being in bed that I got up, put some clothes on, and put together a quick purse to go outside. I had no idea if I was going to go for a walk around the block, or if I’d just be able to make it to the backyard. I cannot remember what meds I took between this morning and this afternoon.

Being outside gave me the sudden realisation that I’d not eaten well again today, and that I was actually starving. I spent about an hour outside, then came back in and made some leftover Thai.

Again, I cannot remember if I took medication with the meal or not. I do know that the pelvic pain and bleeding subsided by mid-afternoon. I do know that the pinched nerve increased in stinging/stabbing frequency by the time I forced myself out of bed around 3:30pm.

My husband came home from a band meeting and took us to the local grocery outlet, where they have a massage chair set up. I plopped down $15 for a 10 minute massage, telling the lady exactly what the points were that needed to be hit. She got everything nicely, and left me free of pain. It was quite nice…until I was back sitting inside the car on the way home, and then the pain all came back again. Meh.

When I got home, I was so exhausted from the walk outside, and from the trip to the grocery, that I needed to rest on the couch for a bit. Of course, this set off more trapped nerve pain in the shoulder again. So I got up, and suddenly I had a burst of energy. So I cleaned up some of the crap behind the couch and organised and put some minor stuff away.

And that’s all it took for the bleeding to start up again. And with it, the nausea set back in. I remembered last night, when I woke during the night and came this close to actually vomiting – the continual drooling and nausea was intense. I’ve no idea what set it off. So I was remembering that and trying not to focus on it so I wouldn’t actually puke from the ramping up pain and nausea setting back in…This was just after 8pm, and by 8:20pm I took one Tylenol 3 and 400mg Advil gelcaps with dinner, which consisted of chicken pizza (the usual gluten-free recipe). The reason I took the meds was because a trickle of blood started up, and a low-level gnawing in the uterus began. My few hours’ reprieve of pelvic pain was over, and time for the new round of cylon attacks to begin. Speaking of cylons, I never did get to watch Season three last night. I was overcome with fatigue and just went to bed.

But during dinner tonight, I started in on Season three.

I took a Lorazepam at 8:57pm and immediately got a shooting pain up to the top of my right side of my brain. I have suspected for over a week now that the Lorazepam is what is behind the increase in headaches, as well as the increase in TMJ pain. Headache is listed as a possible CNS side effect for Lorazepam.

So right now I’m on a muscle relaxer, a Tylenol 3 and 1mg anti-anxiety medication. Whatever’s been trying to pass through my cervix for the last hour … actually there was a spurt, I think it’s finally birthing. brb…
false alarm. Still just ramping up the bleeding. Ugh.

I hate this.

Stupid retroverted uterus.

Stupid endometriosis.

Stupid genetic fail.

Stupid body.

Bad pain day

The pain is sharp, continuous and grating. It has been four hours since I took Tylenol 3, and two hours since I took Soma, and yet the pain relief was only about an hour.

alliebroshpainface8

 
I woke around 7:30am after having nightmares all night (likely medication-induced). I woke with heavy flow, and ate some yoghurt so I could take my first Tylenol 3 of the day. I intended to go back to bed, but then could not fall back to sleep because of the pain.

I sat in the hard chair for awhile, until I became tired again, and then I set up camp in bed with the heating pads, laptop and phone. I needed the heating pads super hot, and I did something I’ve never done – I put the electric heating pad on the hottest setting. The sharp pain just wasn’t being touched, it seemed. How terrible.

It wasn’t until I took the Soma two hours into the Tylenol 3 that I got any pain relief. I passed out and enjoyed peaceful, pain-free sleep in a reclined position with my heating pads all over me. But as I said, it only lasted an hour, when I was awakened by the need to empty the bladder and uterus. The flow is really heavy, today.

Because of my tipped (retroverted) uterus, when I am laying down, the blood does not flow down in normal fashion to the vagina and on out of my body. Instead, it pools at the back of the tipped uterus, until I wake with pain or a full feeling. The moment I try to get out of bed, I get the gushing forth of all the pooled blood. Sometimes I’m able to make it to the toilet in time. Other times, the blood squirts with such force that it goes through everything and makes me feel like I’m in my own personal horror flick.

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So I woke from my drug-induced nap with a fullness, immediate pain, and the urge to urinate. The pain did not get better upon emptying the uterus and bladder.

I *did* find some relief by sitting in the damned hard wooden kitchen chair. But after eating a meal (another gluten-free pizza like the one last night, only with chicken instead of ham), I took a new round of drugs – one Tylenol 3 and 600mg Advil gelcaps. I also took a Vitamin C and a Niacin.

It took an hour and a half all told to do the following:

  • Make and eat my meal
  • Write this journal entry
  • Create the image above for this journal entry (that of course took the most time)

 

And now the drugs have made me sleepy again. My husband has suggested I sleep on my stomach, to let gravity pull the menstrual fluid down and out, instead of having it pool up like that. But laying on my stomach aggravates the bulging disks in my neck. :(

Good times. Good times.

No appetite

As is typical when I am suffering from endometriosis pain, I either do not want to eat, or I want only to eat cereals and grains.

On Tuesday, I had moderate nausea for much of the afternoon and into the evening. The nausea came and went on Wednesday. Even when I’m not experiencing nausea, I don’t really want to eat much when I’m experiencing pelvic pain. It doesn’t matter the level of pain.

This morning I had one bowl of “EnviroKidz” Peanut Butter Panda Puffs sweetened corn cereal, with some goat milk. I haven’t had goat milk to drink in awhile – I began craving it this week. I also ate a Trader Joe’s gluten free waffle with Earth Balance “butter” and some sunflower seed butter.

The pain started as I was getting ready for work, so I called in sick. One of my head teachers phoned me as I was texting her – she figured today would be the day I’d be out. She’s pretty on top of things.

I don’t think I ate again for awhile. I know that around 8:30am, I curled up in bed with the electric heating pad on my back. My husband put my two (unheated) rice pads on top of the electric pad to add desired pressure. I konked out and didn’t wake up until 9:45am.

I spent the day in a super tired pain haze, sitting in a wooden chair in the kitchen. The less I moved, the better. Ever since discovering back in July that the pain is lessened by sitting in this damned chair, I’ve made a point to keep the kitchen table clear so that I can use the laptop and also keep doing homework even when in pain.

I do not think it has a lot to do with my posture in the chair – I often find myself slouching in the chair. What I think is happening is that the nerves in my butt and in my legs get compressed when I sit on the chair, and this acts like crimping a hose, and therefore dulls the pain.
I dunno. Maybe my posture is being forced more upright. All I know is, sitting in a hard wooden chair for the past four cycles/months seems to lessen the pain somewhat.

Sometime around 11am today is when the bleeding ramped up from dark brown spotting to dark red flow. It’s been dark red all day. It has been thick, sticky, and slow to come out. I’ve only gone through two light fabric pads today.

I got into my usual refusal of meds funk again today. I finally relented and took 600mg Advil gelcaps sometime around 1 or 2pm.

While trying to get some homework done around 7:30pm, the pain became sharp and continuous, so I put my homework away. This sucks. I got exactly two drawings done for the fifth and last Language Arts binder tonight. I still have 23 more drawings to go. I’m still only half-way through the Math binder illustrations, and I still haven’t even started the Cultural binder. These are all 3 months past due. I spent my day ranting on my endo blog and generally being mentally irritated, and also in moderate pain. I did not want to do homework. I had to force myself to do some.

I also had to force myself to eat.

I ate a bowl of rice cereal (Trader Joe’s version of Rice Krispies) with some Almond milk.
I ate a rice-chocolate candy bar.
I ate a “Yo-baby” banana flavoured yoghurt cup.

I seriously think that’s all I’ve had to eat today, until now.
Right now I’m eating a brown rice tortilla, topped with Trader Joe’s Alfredo sauce, some dill flakes, some basil flakes, some white mushrooms, diced forbidden black forest ham, and shredded goat milk cheddar cheese.
This is the biggest meal I’ve had all day, and I ate it not only because my stomach was finally officially rumbling, but also to be able to take my first Tylenol 3 of the day.

I’ve got 7 Vegetable Soup thawing in the fridge – just took it out of the freezer today. I’ve got some chicken breast tenderloins cooking in the oven to force myself to eat tomorrow.

We’ll see how I’m functioning tomorrow, and whether I can bring myself to eat more than cereal.

Three last things to note:

1) Either it’s seasonal allergies, or 2) I’m getting sick, but there’s a lot of sneezing and thick phlegm going on today. There’s been a lot of phlegm in general for the past week or so. Being a preschool teacher will guarantee that one gets a virus or two or three on a pretty regular basis.

3) My ‘trapped nerve’ in the neck/left shoulder keeps acting up, then settling down, then acting up again, but I’ve refused to continue taking the remaining muscle relaxers. I think there’s 4 left. I’ll take them with Tylenol 3 if the endometriosis pain gets really bad.

Right now, the pain is radiating down the top of my leg nerves, to my knees. So I’m gonna call it a night and layer myself with all manner of heating pads in bed.