Aches, pains and forgetfulness

I’ve had major aches and pains throughout the mid to upper back all day today, extending to my shoulders and neck. By this evening, however, I developed acute photosensitivity, followed by my jaws hurting. And now I have a moderate headache.

So now I’m paranoid that it’s onset of flu, which I’ve not fallen to in years.

Earlier today though, I was convinced that my back was ‘going out’ again.
It’s been a few months since my back/shoulder/neck has given me grief, so I guess it’s time again. As of early afternoon, it hurt to turn my head to either side or tilt my head back.

I looked up some doctors on my health plan but nobody’s open on a Saturday. I didn’t want to go to the emergency room to beg for muscle relaxers, because it’s so expensive to even enter the goddamned E.R..

And I don’t know of any good walk-in medical clinics in this area, and I didn’t feel like driving to San Mateo where I know there is, or at least used to be, a good clinic that accepts all types of insurance.

Once the migraine started, I popped half a percoset. Thanks to my boyfriend, who has quite the stash leftover from his throat surgery. But it’s not a muscle relaxer. That’s really what I need. I laid stretched out on the bed for about twenty minutes, slowly stretching and moving parts of my back, shoulders and arms. That helped a bit. I should inflate my yoga ball and start using that again, too. Haven’t used it since we moved to the new place in July.

There’s something else that’s been affecting me, too. More and more, I notice how much memory loss I have. I always seem to shrug it off as stress, but lately it’s become kinda scary and so I’m wondering if I should see a neurologist and/or get an MRI.

Today I told my boyfriend some of my immediate plans for the day. I then walked into the computer room and that quickly, I forgot what I said I was supposed to be doing for the day, and I had to ask him what it was I’d just told him I’d planned for the day. Needless to say, he was a bit concerned, too.

This evening, I wanted my bottle of water. I was in the kitchen when this want developed. I knew the water bottle was in the bedroom. But as soon as I exited the kitchen, I went into the bathroom, then stood there wondering what I’d gone in there for. I had to focus and really think, and then it came to me – I was in the kitchen on my way to the bedroom for my water bottle. How I ended up in the bathroom instead, forgeting entirely within a span of about 8 seconds what I set off to find, I have no idea.

This concerns me greatly. I’m far too young to have dementia. But I know my head bowed out the windshield of a car back in 1994, and I know I’ve had memory loss ever since. But this is getting scary, as I said.

A few weeks ago, I took it as a game when it happened. My boyfriend and I had made plans for a Saturday. When that day arrived, he had to keep reminding me to get ready to go. I decided to not tell him that I had no idea why he was getting us out of the house. Happy to spend time with my honey, I followed along, got in the car, and enjoyed the ride to wherever we were going.
I grew concerned after we got about ten miles away from town when I still didn’t know where we were headed to, but I stayed quiet about it. At the time, I felt more excited, like a kid being taken to a surprise. That won out over the concern for my memory loss.

The place we were headed to? A pumpkin patch. So that ended up being kidlike fun once we took the exit and I finally remembered where we’d planned to go.

But today… the memory loss was scary. It’s been scary like this before. I just never talk about it. Is it stress or is my brain deteriorating?
I have full medical coverage thanks to my boyfriend’s domestic partner insurance. I need to look up doctors tomorrow and make some calls – leave some messages. I need to schedule time off work and GO to the damned doctor.

One Response to “Aches, pains and forgetfulness”

  1. zeptember » Falling again

    […] This is not the first time I’ve mentioned the forgetfulness. Perhaps the first time on LiveJournal, but I’ve mentioned it here before. […]