Updating on stuffs

On Saturday, I found out my friend was going to have surgery for a herniated disc in a few days, and she was having trouble with her doctors and workplace. The meds she had weren’t helping with the pain. We arranged for her housemate to come over and pick up some extra pain meds my man has leftover from his throat surgery last year.

I was thoroughly guilt-wracked by being home from work yesterday, and very impatient to be healed already. I kept pondering whether I should just go into work by Wednesday. Hell I’m *still* pondering that. I’m nervous as hell as to whether they’ll decide to let me go like the book scanning job wanted to do, because of missing too many days, even though I told the former job from time of interview that I have Endo issues. By the way, that same former job is now pulling the same shit with my above-mentioned friend because SHE has missed a lot of work recently due to major medical issues. Unlike me however, she went to the Labor Board. I hope she wins her case…even moreso because SHE is the one who raised their numbers by 200% or more in the time she’s been there (which is not even a year, yet). And they have the audacity to treat her like this. Grrrr!!!

Anyway, I knew this week would be challenging to my antsy, impatient, guilty mindset regarding work. I can’t stand the idea of being behind financially again. I don’t know what I’ll do if I become unemployed again. I’m living in fear again. I know all this. This week is my week to overcome these fears, or at least subdue them. Right now I’m subduing. I took a Xanax.

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