AGGGGHHHHHHHHHhuaguaguaugaahhh

Do I need to create a separate category for progesterone pill side effects?!?!?!

AAGAGAGAGAHHHHHH

Today I pushed my luck at work. I got unruly with customers. I got loud. I exclaimed out to my boss several times at how suck-ass our customer service is and how stupid the customers are. I couldn’t control myself.

It’s the hormones.

This is *exactly* what I’ve been telling you. I told you that the first and only time I tried birth control pills in 1991, I became a psycho hosebeast, and that was on the lowest dose available back then. But noooooo. People keep telling me that the doseages have changed since then, and I’ll be FINE.

WELL HELL NO I’M NOT FINE. I’M ABOUT TO THROW MY FECKING CHAIR THROUGH THE GODDAMNED COMPUTER MONITOR!

I was fine this morning til I got on the road to commute to work. Then a surge washed over me. A huge, hormonal surge of do0m. It manifested as anxiety. I had to control my breathing to avoid a panic attack.
Once at work, I thought I was fine. Then the surge re-occurred. And re-occurred. Throughout the day. I was a psycho bitch all fecking day. I knew it as it was happening but could not control myself. I started bashing my water bottle down on my desk when the idiot customers wouldn’t follow directions or couldn’t understand how to even fecking LOOK to the right of their application to see the obvious goddamned tabs to click.

*slow, deep breaths*

Okay.
I’ve just called the on-call nurse for my gynecologist/surgeon. She told me to call the doc tomorrow on lunch hour (I don’t have a cell and whined ‘what do i do?’) and demand to speak to the surgeon right then and there and let the staff know I don’t have a cell, that I’m at work, and that I don’t get home til well after their office closes for the day.

This on-call nurse rocked the house. She was very explicit in how I should weild myself when calling, tomorrow. I could hear her kids screaming in the background but she continued to talk to me. I felt much better. I can do this. Doc will talk to me tomorrow and we’ll figure out a new course for the meds. I’ll even talk to my boss if need be, to let her know what’s going on.

*slow, deep breaths* … sip of Mai Tai….

I JUST WANT THE RAGE TO STOP.

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