depression update

i went to the doctor. i told him about my history w/ major depression. i told him about the yasmin. i told him about my night last night.

he said by law, he has to put me on a 51-50 hold – lock me up in a state hospital. i lost it and cried. he asked if i have anyone to help me. i brought in my man who was in the waiting room. the doctor had a chat with my man, who agreed to babysit me for the next 72 hours.

the doctor said i can get off the yasmin. he said it only takes about 48 hours before it’s out of my system. i don’t trust him but at the same time felt relieved.

he told me to keep taking the ativan and upped the dose; i’m to take 1mg every 3 hours for the next 72 hours.

i’ve missed my yasmin dose today. i already have cramps worse than last night. the dark brown coffee grounds stuff is coming out more. so on top of fighting the horrible effects of the yasmin, i may also get bad george pains again soon.

i still want out.

2 Responses to “depression update”

  1. Kahleida

    I know we have our differences, and I know we have fights at times, and I really don’t know if you want to hear from me right now. But I feel like I need to say something, since I have been through a huge mental breakdown myself.
    I have been put on a 51-50 several times. I’ve even been put on a 52-50 (14 day hold).
    I just want to make it clear that even if you get put on a hold does not mean that you will be kept for that amount of time. If you demonstrate that you are okay, you will be let out. Even if the doctors don’t agree you can see a judge, and that is not some huge struggle, I had no problem seeing a judge at all.
    The most important thing is that you get into a hospital that is not like sf general. I mostly went to Mills Peninsula and it was amazing. Insurance will cover it.
    The most important thing right now is that you get healthy. If you are at the point that you are seriously thinking of killing yourself you really need to put your health #1. *No one* wants you to leave this earth.
    From my experience I would sugest somehow finding a part time job and also getting into a good therapy. The more the therapist/psychiatrist challenges you the better. You don’t want them to be a total ass, but if they just smile and job you aren’t going to get as far as you would with someone who will really make you think.
    And as a side note, be real careful with the ativan. Benzos are very addictive, which is why most shrinks will only prescribe so much at a time. Normal doctors might not be so much aware of this. I’ve been in the mental ward with people who describe the withdrawl from Klonapin as hell on earth.
    Anyways, I just want you to know that I have been through similar situations, and I know what has worked for me, and they may not work for you, but if you have any questions just email me.

  2. Kahleida

    er that should be smile and nod, not smile and job… hah too much wine!