I Will Not Suffer In Silence

Last week I dropped off the prescription my new GYN sent me. The pharmacy said they’d have to consult with her, because they couldn’t do a dose as low as she was asking unless it was injectible. I told them no way did I want to inject pain meds.

Three or four days went by and I called the pharmacy back – I’d forgotten what drug the GYN even wanted me on by that point. And to my frustration, the pharmacy couldn’t find the prescription. Panic ensued on their end when I lost my shit with them. They found it and told me they’d fill the prescription, but I’d have to cut the pill in half to take the dose my GYN wants me to take.

FINE, YES OK, JUST FILL THE DAMNED THING, WTF, I WILL NEED IT SOON.

Turns out, the GYN has prescribed me a type of morphine called Hydromorphone. It’s a generic for Dilaudid.

Greeeeeeeat.

This is the same drug that my uncle was or is on for stomach cancer (last I heard, he survived his doctor’s prediction of 6 weeks, and he’s still going at 13 weeks).

When I got home, I read up on Hydromorphone‘s side effects. It’s not good for people who are prone to depression (hi!), and it is highly addictive, and withdrawl symptoms occur after as little as a week of usage, but not normally with doses under 8mg. This drug is related to oxycodone.

I’ve been prescribed 1mg, but after having tried my man’s oxycodone prescription for the pain once, I thought I was drowning/suffocating to death. I literally didn’t think I’d make it through the night. That was 5mg though. Later, when I cut the oxycodone in half, I did better on 2.5mg, but I got very depressed and agitated after even one dose. The same is true when I have vicodin or when I have codeine sulfate.

I decided it would be best to do a test run with the hydromorphone before my period actually arrives, so I know what all to expect.

On the rxlist site, I read that “The most frequently observed adverse effects are light-headedness, dizziness, sedation, nausea, vomiting, sweating, flushing, dysphoria, euphoria, dry mouth, and pruritus. These effects seem to be more prominent in ambulatory patients and in those not experiencing severe pain.”
My left shoulder and my entire back from my shoulder to my butt was in moderate pain last night, anyway, so perhaps I wouldn’t have the negative side effects.

I split the pill and took roughly 1mg (pill splitters are never accurate), and took a shower. The meds came on towards the end of my shower – I suddenly felt SO tired that I might whine like a two year old without a nap if I didn’t get to bed, soon. I just wanted someone to finish drying me off, put my jammies on me, and put me into bed.

I managed to do this without the whimpering. ;)

Got into bed, and it was like the bestest, warmest hug EVAR. So naturally I was really liking this drug so far.
The hydromorphone made me sound “floaty” according to my man. I was talkative and dreamy-eyed and smiley all tucked into bed while my man laid opposite me so we could see each other without craning our necks. He was reading a role-playing game book before bed as he often does.

I slept hard, but woke up early – around 7:30am (that’s early for me these days), and I had thee worst backache. The hydromorphone had taken the pain away last night, but it returned this morning with a vengeance. I had to use the homemedics massager on my back for over half an hour, when all I wanted to do was just sleep. I’ve been up ever since, and I feel zombie-like today. That would be the drug hangover.

I was able to have a regular bowel movement, but I’m sure if I’m on the hydromorphone for a few days, I’ll be constipated just like when I’m on the other opiates.

So, overall the test run was successful. We’ll see how it all works out when george arrives.

The biggest concern I have with this drug is that it’s another opiate – and not only is it another opiate, but it’s got the word morphine in it. I’m going down that road – the road to invalid status – by taking stronger and stronger opiates for the pain. DO NOT WANT.

The Qigong lady I called last week never called me back. I’ll try her again, and see if there’s any other Qigong practitioners in the area. I can also still go to see my acupuncturist, but that is a bandaid – it wears off.

I no longer want bandaids. I’ve had bandaids for this illness for nearly 22 years. I want to overcome this.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 10th, 2008 at 12:29 pm and is filed under Endometriosis, Medications, Nausea, Pain Management. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.