Right, well that wasn’t fun

The baby did have a nice nap at an hour and 45 minutes, but unfortunately my pain and severe bleeding had not finished with me in that time, and the meds were full steam ahead in my bloodstream.

It took all my strength just to carry the baby from her bedroom to the changing table in the parents’ room.

Baby definitely knew something was up, because usually when she wakes, she’s fussy or bounding and ready to go. Today she just hung in my arms looking up at me with concern, and once I had her on the changing table, she would normally squirm all over the place but she didn’t move. She just stared at me. I apologised profusely and tried not to cry from the pain. I didn’t want her to cry – babies are SOOOOOOO intuitive.

I changed the baby and then notified the baby’s mother (K) of the situation, as well as notifying my husband B.

K and B both talked with each other and found out they work near the same BART station. So they took the BART together back to K’s car and she drove B back to her house, where I was at. In the meantime, K called her neighbor (H) to come over and help me out. H was over within ten minutes and so I was able to stagger downstairs and drool on the couch.

I wasn’t down there for long, though, before I realised that H wasn’t coming down to feed the baby like I told her. I think perhaps she didn’t know the routine or know what to do. Nothing worse than a baby who realises it’s suddenly very hungry, so I staggered to the kitchen and put all baby’s solids together and warmed a bottle, then called H down. She fed the baby for me. I thanked her repeatedly.

K and B came through the door around noon, and I was told to just hang out and rest until it was time to go to the doctor. So the four of us hung out in the living room for a bit. H had to go, then we eventually had to get on the road, too. I thanked H and K and apologised to K for still being sick. I just felt bad – I had no idea why my body insisted I miss most of a work week like this. Are my cycles getting longer and more intense as I age?

B got me to the doctor in time – it was all the way up in Richmond because my GYN wasn’t at the Berkeley office today. The mess had abated by this time, and I was left with sharp, jarring pains on the left side, and having to pee every five minutes.

After I told the GYN my story, she said I should have gone to E.R., because there they could have done blood workups and scans and such, and she’s not equipped there to do that. I broke down and cried. Didn’t expect that. She was patient with me and asked me to tell her what I was so anxious about. I relayed the story about the botched E.R. visit back in April. She remembered. I told her that although they have a care plan in place for me now after I filed a huge complaint, that when the GYN office said they had an appointment today, I took it rather than chancing another E.R. disaster again. My GYN told me she understood the trauma I went through would have made me act the way I did (coming to see her instead today). She sympathised with me.

Got a pee test – negative for pregnancy – she’s worried about ectopic pregnancy. I told her there’s no way. She gave me an external ultrasound and didn’t see anything abnormal.

I said perhaps I have a cyst. I told her the left side is what’s killing me right now, and that’s the ovary that was stuck behind my uterus from the disease when the surgeon went in last year to have a look.

So she performed an internal ultrasound and her tone changed.

She told me the uterine lining is still very thick, which means much more clotting is on the way. :(
Then she exclaimed OH! You DO have a cyst!!”

There it is, on the left side. 4cm ovarian cyst. I’m not too worried. I’ve had one larger than that before and it reabsorbed. But I did cry again because goddammit, I’m tired of all the pain. And why is my endometrium so thick with clots? She couldn’t answer that.

We talked about my pain management options again. I’m still refusing anything hormone-based or lupron-based.
She suggested acupunture but I’ve already tried that. Works great but doesn’t last longer than several hours to a day).

She gave me the number of a homeopathy specialist she trusts.

She gave me a lab slip to see how anaemic I am.

She told me I must see a radiologist in 6 weeks to follow up for the cyst, to see if it’s reabsorbed or if it’s growing.

Got my blood drawn on the way home.

And tomorrow I already have an appointment for a Chi Nei Tsang treatment and will be getting started on a gallbladder cleanse.

Until then, I’m wiped out from the pain, the crying and the meds. It’s 6:30pm on a Friday night and I’m heading for a bath and then bed. This will be the second weekend in a row that I’m too ill to enjoy life. I’d only been married a week when I fell ill, and it wasn’t supposed to last this long. I’m quite depressed. I’d like to be a happy giddy bride again, please.

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