Update on doctors and Endometriois

The pain is unbearable at 1:44pm. I’m already considering calling an ambulance.

The bleeding started gushing around 1:20pm. The pain followed immediately. This is the third menstrual cycle I’ve had which started off very slowly and with dark brown blood. I started late Thursday afternoon, with only the tiniest spotting of dark brown. The pain level was the same as it’s been all month, and centered mostly in the lower back and sides as it has been.
Today is the first day with real, hard core pain, and the blood is getting redder now, less brown “dirty” blood.

I told my spouse yesterday that it’s bad when I have the brown blood, because it means it’s clotting back behind my cervix, and eventually will have to come out, and that’s what causes the cramps, because my cervix has to dilate to push the clots through.

I took one Tylenol 3 – I’m about to take another one after only half an hour. I’m in unbelievable pain. I am afraid. I am home alone. My spouse went off to band practice.

If I make the decision to go to the hospital, I will call my spouse first, and call a local friend second to see if they can take me. Failing that, I call the ambulance.

Regarding my gynecologist, she finally called me back Wednesday afternoon, and was apologetic – she hadn’t typed up the notes from our visit on November 7th because the tiny room we were in had no computer hookup. She said she’d forgotten what all had taken place. We discussed it together, and she remembered as we talked. She said she was putting it all in the computer then, and would give me my referral. She gave me the number to call, but warned I’d not likely get through anytime soon because of the long holiday (Thanksgiving) weekend. She was right.
We discussed what to do should I end up in unmanageable pain again. She said the E.R. is the best place to go because they’ll run blood tests while I’m in the thick of pain, and can do ultrasound or whatever needs to happen right then and there, and give me more powerful meds. I told her I would go next time.

Well here we are I think at ‘next time’.

I’m getting nauseous from the pain. Giving it a few minutes as now the first Tylenol 3 is kicking in as far as being stoned goes. Perhaps I won’t need another. I’m regulating my breathing and talking myself down from panic mode. Journaling helps immensely.

This morning I performed Chi Nei Tsang on myself, because I was tired of having the brown blood. I wanted the flow to start already. I was mad at the cyst and at my body for being broken. I knew that because there was no pain and blood flow right from Thursday evening, it meant that I’d have to miss work again for up to 3 days. This in turn stresses me out because I fear being fired again.

As soon as the pain set in, I emailed my employer and told her what was going on. I’d sent a status update last night, too, so she knows there had been no pain and that late pain arrival was inevitable.

This morning I ate two bowls of gluten-free cereal with almond milk, had a piece of pumpkin pie (minus the crust) with homemade whipped cream (full dairy), and later on, I had some gluten-free white cheddar popcorn (corn/rice puffs). I’ve had two out of three cups of detox tea (kidney and liver tea) today, and have taken 1 ginger capsule and 1 uva ursi capsule today.

I think that’s all the food I’ve eaten. Now that I have Tylenol 3 in me, I’m hungry again. I always get the munchies on Tylenol 3.

I did not take any Ibuprofen today. I wasn’t in much pain until the sudden onset after 1pm, and there was no time to try the Ibuprofen – the pain level shot up to ‘7’ on the scale and called for the big guns, so I took the Tylenol 3.

The spasming uterine pain is fading. Being reclined in bed with the rice bag heating pad helps. I just got a sudden pain in the chest, however. I get that a lot when on Tylenol 3. I know this stuff can kill me.

I am afraid, mad at my body, depressed at losing another sunny day, alternating feeling sorry for myself and mad. The bad feelings do not help my condition. I need to love myself unconditionally despite the illness. I need to find personal strength in this, rather than wallowing in the superficial and the sensory world around me.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe I am personally the cause of my illness. I’ve had this since onset of menstruation at age 14, when I was still considered a child. Three of my four aunts have Endometriosis, and so did their mother – my grandmother.

There are new agers out there who say I caused my own illness, that I came into this world with a choice and I chose to be ill. They call it “Law of Attraction.”
Even some of the alternative medicine people I’ve tried to see over the years have purported this to me.

Those people need to spend some special time with the necklace.

Well, the pain is stable. It’s stopped ramping up. And I still have a load of laundry out back to take care of. Ugh. I think the neighbors will just have to wait, or move my stuff outta their way if they want the washer.

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