Stupid nightmares
I stayed home because of the pain and heavy bleeding today. I took a Tylenol 3 and within an hour had to go to sleep. I have no idea how I got through work yesterday because I was on Tylenol 3 then, too. Being at home I guess allows me to just go pass out with freedom.
I was on the couch at first but couldn’t get comfortable – I needed to stretch out my legs and couldn’t, and then my cat was meowing incessantly. So I got up and moved to the bedroom. It took awhile to settle – the Tylenol 3 made me VERY cranky and my anxiety was up again, too.
My first dream entailed me being at some diner somewhere, trying to order something as I sat at a small table near a partition. Suddenly, my left eye began to twitch and droop. Eventually my eye stuck itself shut and couldn’t open, and my vision was getting blurry in the other eye. I couldn’t order when the waitress came to me. I began to panic and went to the restroom. I may have been at Tillie’s diner across town….anyway, when I went to the restroom, I looked in the mirror and my eye was puffed out and stuck mostly shut. I tried to pry my eyelids open and could see my eyeball stuck in a downward position in all its viscous horror.
I then began to get tremors, not just in my eye but my whole head. It felt like a seizure coming on. I ran back into the diner and appealed to the horrified waitress. I asked her to look at me and tell me if I looked okay. The look on her face confirmed that I really wasn’t okay; I wasn’t imagining things. I began to shake, told her I might be having a seizure, and to please call 911.
As she did so, I was somehow able to get on chat or text my husband and ask him to call 911.
When the police officer arrived, I was no longer at the diner, but in a place considered to be my home (it didn’t look at all like my home in real life). I get the feeling I lived alone in this place. The police officer asked me “what seems to be the problem” and looked completely put out to have to have arrived to pick me up. I told him I needed an ambulance and needed to go to the hospital. The cop wasn’t buying my story and said I looked fine. I ran to the mirror and checked my eyes and face. Although the swelling went down a bit, I was still in bad shape. I went back to the police officer and explained to him that I was having seizures and eye twitches and my eye is still sealed shut and I can’t drive in this condition, I need an ambulance NOW!
The officer tried to tell me that maybe if I just wait it out, I’d be fine. The dream ended with me trying to convince him to allow me to go to the hospital.
I can’t remember if that dream flowed into the next or if I’d awakened for a few seconds and drifted back to sleep again.
My second dream had me encountering a kid as I walked back to my house from somewhere. I think I was in Michigan near my first childhood home. The kid was between the age of 10-12, short for his age, curly short black hair but not frizzy or too tightly curly, and darker skinned than me but not ebony. I can’t remember how we first encountered each other on this walk, but he began to follow me and beg. I think he was a homeless kid that everyone in the neighborhood knew. There’d been some teenagers hanging with him who followed us for a few seconds but seeing that I was interacting positively with the kid, let us go on alone. I remember saying something to him about when I was little, then added that he is not little anymore, not like the kids I teach at school.
But the kid got annoying and acted out. I had to pick him up and carry him as though I were carrying a preschooler in my class to the observation chair for having acted out and refusing to go of his own accord to said chair.
Once back at my house, which was very much like my first childhood home, the kid began going through my stuff. There was something that he made fly through the house, a heavy paper object or toy of some sort. We played with that for a few minutes. The house was starkly empty and there was an echo when we talked.
After a few minutes, the kid began trying to steal stuff. I chased him through my house and swatted his hands away from stuff and emptied his pockets and scolded him and told him I’d given him things already, he didn’t have to take MY stuff. This just made him act out even more, in a mad grab session, running through my house.
As I chased him, the house began to get creepy. It began to shake like an earthquake. We ran outside and there was no earthquake. The kid still had stuff belonging to me so I resumed trying to pry stuff from his hands. He wasn’t laughing – he was serious about taking it, and we struggled with each other. I began hitting him. At this point, two young teen boys (probably about 13 years old) came by to check on the younger boy and saw us struggling. They joined in, picking through comic books and games and other stuff that my husband had on some bookshelves just outside of the house, against the exterior wall of the house in the driveway and on the porch. I tried grabbing stuff back from them, too, telling them it belongs to us, it belongs to my husband, it belongs to me, etc…
The younger boy had run off – we’d come to the house from the left side of the street facing the house, and he’d taken off across the lawn to the right side of the house and ran up the street. I tried to chase after him but that’s when I noticed the two older boys, who were now ripping pages out of my husband’s comic books and graphic novels. When I tried to stop them, they explained that the pages are supposed to be ripped out and placed on a laminated mat of some sort. I told them ‘but that’s for my husband to do when he wants to because it’s his!’ but the boys continued.
Enraged, I began hitting them, too. Striking them, bashing them, anything I could do to make them stop taking our STUFF.
That’s when my haunted house began acting up again – things rattling inside, crashing about. I want to say we all went inside and experienced the rumbling shaking of the house, the swinging flickering lights and all that, but it’s fuzzy now upon recollection. Either we all went in or I went in and came back out again. There had been a 12 or 13 year old girl at this point who was also with the boys, also rifling through my STUFF, and I struggled with her, too, attacking her. She got all upset and I told her to go tell her mommy, then. She gave an evil grin and I shrugged and told her I looked forward to the exchange.
I needed to go back into the house and by this time, it was getting dark outside and the lights that were on in the house made a yellow glow. The rooms were dark. I went through the empty house, wondering where all my STUFF had gone. The house smelled like a basement. In fact, perhaps I was in the basement (The house in the dream looked nothing like my real childhood home on the inside). I was in a large room and diagonally to my left there was a doorway leading to the next room. At the far end of that room was a small bathroom, and the light was on, and water was running. I walked towards it.
Something either told me to run BECAUSE it was going to get very scary and possibly a murderer lurked in that back room – one of the kids- or something popped out at me. Either way, I booked it outta there, and began screaming because I knew something was closing in behind me, and fast.
That’s when I woke up, and my eyes felt puffy…
I got out of bed and checked myself in the mirror. Thankfully, I did not look like my first dream…
Have I mentioned how much I hate Tylenol 3’s side effects? The nightmares are caused by me likely not getting enough air, because the codeine has suppressed my respiration.
But of all the meds I’ve tried, I have the least amount of trouble with Tylenol 3.
Regarding the dreams… they do hold meaning, drug induced or not. I’ve been having a problem with my left eye spasming for about two months, now. The spams are minor but I need to talk to a doctor about it, because magnesium and potassium, which I was once told would help with that, has not. I have a doctor appointment this Saturday.
The cop not taking me seriously in the dream is directly attributable to the secretary at my GYN office who I spoke with this morning. I was explaining that I’d like to speak to or see my GYN because I’ve had abnormal periods since February, and also having endo, I’d like to just get checked out to make sure nothing bad is going on. She totally brushed me off and said cycles change as one gets older and it’s nothing to worry about. She didn’t believe I had endo and asked me accusingly, “Are you DIAGNOSED with endo??”
Uh, yeah lady, stage III, and it’s been two years since surgery, and the shit grows back, so piss off already. I wanted to say that, but instead I shot back, “Yes, Stage III, diagnosed in 2007.”
She put me on hold, came back and said, “so you’re having pain?”
I retorted, “LOOK, I *always* have pain, it’s what happens with endo. This has nothing to do with the pain. It’s the cycle switching up on me when for many years it NEVER DID THAT.”
She said she’d leave a message for the GYN to call me back. Bitch.
So yeah, the cop not taking me seriously in the dream? Same bitch.
I don’t know about the stuff being stolen or about the kids in the second dream. I never hit children, though older children like the ones in my dream, I have to say it is difficult to work with them. That’s why I only choose to work with the wee ones.
Being chased by the kids or the haunted house towards the end of the dream may refer back to my recent job harassment, or may stem from a jealousy issue I’ve been wrestling with.
DreamMoods says, “To dream that you have been robbed, denotes that you are experiencing an identity crisis or you are suffering some sort of loss in your life. Alternatively, you may feel that someone has stolen your success or has taken credit for something you did.”
Again, tied to the job harrassment because I left one career field after harassment, went back to my old career, and have been getting harassed there, and now I don’t know what to do with my life, what career options I have, how I’ll make it financially, etc.
DreamMoods also says, “To dream that you a seizure, suggests that you need to have more control in your life.”
Yeah well lots of dream topics end up translating to that.
DreamMoods says, “To dream that you are being haunted, indicates early unpleasant traumas and repressed feelings or memories. You are experiencing some fear or guilt about your past activities and thoughts.”
*sigh*
And now the cramps are back again.