Two weeks of symptoms and counting…

I am so tired and weak. I went to bed after 2am and got up at 8:30am. That’s not bad – I usually sleep about 6.5 – 7 hours per night through the week anyway. I’ve been feeling very sore all day – my hips, thighs, knees and ankles hurt. But I did not walk intensely or exercise a lot yesterday. Maybe I’m so sore *because* I’ve not been running around all day since Friday at work?

More likely it is george. He always makes me feel like I’ve been run over by a mack truck. Then again, I’ve not been eating so well, lately. That will do it, too. I’m still waiting for george to show up. My personal computer calendar says he’s due today. The laptop calendar says he was due yesterday. Who knows anymore. My cycle has been off since February.

I have done nothing physically active all day today. Sunday is usually my day to get all the housework and laundry done before the work week begins again. Today there was so much going on and I totally cleared my schedule.

  • There was afternoon tea in the backyard, courtesy the neighbor upstairs.
  • There was a sheet rock party at a friend’s house – a work party to help him get his new house in order so he and his wife and infant can move in.
  • Another neighbor in the back of the house needed help getting her digital converter box all set up because as of last Thursday, broadcast television as we’ve always known it in the U.S. ceased to be. I called the FCC and we got a guy to come out and wire everything up for my neighbor, because I didn’t know how. I have not had regular TV or cable TV for probably six years now, by choice. We just have DVD and VHS hookup when we want it. We did not purchase the digital converter for our home.
  • A neighbor two doors down wanted me to babysit her toddler.
  • A neighbor almost three blocks down wanted me to babysit her toddler.

I cleared all of it off the schedule because of george. I even asked my husband to go to the grocery for me because I couldn’t even manage that.

Regarding my diet, I’ve not eaten well for over a month. I spent 18 days in the UK and my fingers were cracked open and bleeding from all the gluten and yeast that kept creeping into my diet. Some of it was accidental, some of it was on purpose. I drank whisky because it’s friggin Scotland for chrissakes. You cannot deny me that experience! I had bandaids on no less than four fingers and my fingers were constantly in pain. I put lotion on several times a day to no avail because well, it’s a dermatitis allergic reaction after all.
I also found out that “glucose syrup” is corn syrup and wheat, because the UK has to explain what it is on all their labeling. I had been eating fudge because the UK apparently is known for its fudge. And it seems all the damned fudge has the glucose syrup in it. I didn’t check the label until I was back home in the states. Stupid me!

I know this month’s cycle is going to be crazy, if not downright brutal, because of the way I’ve eaten and all the alcohol I’ve consumed socially over the past month.

So yeah, I’m starting to record what I eat again, and I’m going to have to do more diet elimination again soon to find out why I’m still getting allergic reactions now that I’m back home eating my ‘usual’ diet again.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that despite all the allergy tests I’ve had, despite all the research related to diet and endometriosis, despite my own findings for my body with regards to food sensitivities – none of it has been proven as a direct link to endometriosis pain. I get so sick of the anxiety I suffer over eating something and then wondering if I’ll have immediate pain while menstruating or if my next cycle will be affected by something I ate days or weeks ago that somehow may still be wreaking havoc on my system. None of it has been scientifically proven for my body. It’s all speculation. I need some solid scientific findings for MY body.

And y’know, with how off kilter my diet was, I actually LOST weight on our honeymoon, because of all the hiking we did. And since I’ve been back to work, I bicycle to and from work every day. While at work, I run around with children all day, literally. And I kneel and bend and stand. I’m constantly going. With all that exercise, plus all the constant walking and hiking and climbing we did in the UK for 18 days, you’d think building up muscles and toning myself would have a beneficial effect on my system.
But no.

Hell, I’d be happy to just know whether or not the endo is growing back again, and where, WITHOUT having to have surgery again. Because if someone can say yes, it’s grown back, then I don’t have to feel like I’m going insane or imagining things.

In the meantime, I can’t focus. I started this journal entry around 3pm and it’s taken all day just to get this far.

I rarely take Tylenol 3 to quiet an anxiety brain but tonight I did. I’ve taken Tylenol 3 about three times in the past week before bed because of severe joint and low back pain as related to endometriosis symptoms. Tonight it’s just doing double duty.

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