Housework and chronic pain

When I got home from work on Friday, an ant invasion awaited my attention. I had just wanted to take it easy but that was not to be. I spent the next four hours stooping, bending, vacuuming, spraying, ripping up the carpet and killing more ants who had come up through a crack in the foundation.
Ugh. That did me in. I was in a lot of pain in my low back, thighs, knees and calves all of Friday evening, lasting through to today – Sunday.

Today I need to get more laundry and dishes done and I’m not looking forward to it. :(

I really wish I had a helper.

My husband is not a good helper. He has band practice twice a week on Tuesday and Sunday, and sacred gaming with his buddies every Sunday night. He absolutely refuses to give these things up, even to make time for his stubborn dying father.
For example, his father’s wife called this morning to tell us they’d be stopping by to drop off baseball tickets and their house key for him, and to generally stop by to see him. She BOUGHT the baseball tickets for him and his father to spend a day together for his father’s birthday this coming week.
My husband responded by asking ME if I’d be around to collect these articles from his father because he’d be busy with band practice.
Mind you, he’s in a local band with no gigs on the horizon. But he HAS to be at band practice twice a week, no questions asked, or else he bristles.

Through the week, my husband works until 6pm, gets home by 8pm, then spends the rest of the evening working on several side projects for three different publishing companies who have contracted him.

I feel like I’m the only one dusting, vacuuming, doing dishes, washing the floors, cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, cat box and managing the continual ant invasions. In the three years we have lived here, this is the first time we’ve had such forceful ant invasions. The landlords have even sprayed around the outside of the building and have put ant gel bait inside for us. We have used cinnamon oil, Bugs-R-Done spray, and even the ultra toxic RAID in some cases, plus ant traps – all to no avail. It’s a bad year for ants.

My husband does dishes maybe twice a week. Granted, the dishes are more mine than his, cuz he eats out all the time, but it’s still overwhelming for me. He vacuums maybe twice or three times a month. He rarely remembers to change the filters on the hepa vacuum or the filter fan in the bedroom.

He has been saying for about a year now that he wants to get a dishwasher because he cannot stand doing dishes by hand all the time (and neither can I). But we have yet to see a dishwasher grace this household. He promised again this weekend, then hemmed and hawed and said that a used one he found sounded good but an hour drive each way was not worth it for him.
WTF!!! Everything is up to an hour drive each way in the Bay Area!!!

I keep telling him verbally and often that the housework is too much for me to do, that I need help, that I need a maid who we can hire off craigslist who WILL do dishes and laundry because I simply do not have enough spoons to do all this on my own.
I will have to spell it out for him that I NEED for HIM to hire us a maid, because I cannot afford it.

We’ll see how that goes.

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