Had to work today

Today was Saturday but I had to work, because it was the parent work hour day at the school I work for.

I was asked at the end of the day yesterday to help steer parents to do work on our outdoor classroom.
I said I’d see how my health was holding up.

I got up this morning and needed an hour and a half to make my body work, as opposed to the usual 45 minutes to an hour I do each day.

I popped 600mg of Ibuprofen and went off to work. I got four hours of manual labor in – hand washing shelf jobs, wiping down furniture, clearing away boxes and trays of stuff, and arranging things that could be washed into the middle of the ‘classroom’ to be hosed down with the high pressure water gun.

While at work, I popped 600mg more of Ibuprofen to stave the pain.

I got home and was wiped out, but was told we had a birthday party to go to. So I took a hot shower and then we went to the local diner for a late lunch. I about fell asleep before we got to the diner.

Being that I’m PMSing, I was craving red meat and milkshakes. Yes, I violated major food rules today, and paid for it half-way through my meal. My entire body felt like crap and I wanted to just throw up everything I’d eaten and ask for Thai food instead, heh.

We went off to our friend’s house for his birthday after we ate lunch, and spent the rest of the afternoon/evening there. While there, I popped 600mg more Ibuprofen for the pain.

I think I’m missing a dose in there somewhere. I’m pretty sure I’ve had a total of 2,000mg of Ibuprofen to get through today.
The pain has been the same – low uterine cramps with occasional right and/or left ovarian stabs.

While at our friend’s house, I had to stretch a few times, do large hip circles, and try to prevent my body from going into pill-bug stance. I was pretty unsuccessful. :(

The PMS has had me very irritable even today, but I kept myself totally in check while at work, and again while we were at our friend’s house. In-between, I let my husband know I was a grump due to PMS – that it wasn’t his fault for any of my grouching.

Ugh. I thought for sure I was going to start my period two days early, on Friday. Looks more now like I’ll be on time or late.

I just want this cycle to be over now, please.

Today is fired

I am very happy to have received a teacher appreciation award, a free luncheon, free desserts, and a gift certificate.

I am PMSing fiercely and needed 1,000mg Ibuprofen to get through the workday today. My lower back killed me all day. I had moderate low uterine cramps all day. I burst into tears at the sight of my teacher appreciation gift, startling those around me.

I could not eat the lunch except for the salad because it was all glutenous. I could not eat the desserts I wanted to eat because it was all glutenous, except for the flan and the ultra sugary meringues (well I’m not even supposed to have those cuz I can’t have eggs).

Several teachers and parents were perfumed with toxic chemicals which gave me sore throat, headache, sticky eyes, sudden extreme fatigue, irritability, and made me gag and sneeze a lot.

When I got home from work, there was nothing ready to eat. I hadn’t eaten any protein all day. My husband preferred grocery shopping to dining out so we went to the grocery, where I was assaulted with toxic fragrances from people in the aisles of the store. I became openly irritable and nearly broke down in tears. We got most of what we needed and got out of there. We tried to go to Walgreens to get my prescriptions for Tylenol 3 and Vanicream body lotion but I had to leave cuz a lady who stepped in line next to me (not behind me mind you but next to me) was heavily perfumed and I began choking.

I got home, we made ourselves dinner, we sat down and ate dinner.

And then I had a food reaction.

It started with a headache half-way through dinner.

After I was finished eating, I got up to rinse my plate and got dizzy. I made it to the sink and began washing my plate and I got dizzy again. And again. I slowly made my way to the bathroom and in the mirror I beheld a beet red face and a blotchy red neck and chest. That means food allergy.
My pulse was within normal range but my temperature was 99.7°F.

I took a children’s benadryl tablet (I can’t take adult dosage because I get anxiety/panic/palpitations).

Then I went and changed into my pajamas.

When I took my bra off, my upper chest screamed in pain because the boobs had dropped out of the bra, and the pressure/weight of the hanging breasts makes me want to scream. My nipples too make me want to scream, they’re so tender. This is day three of breast and nipple pain, but today the pain is the worst yet.

So uh, today is fired. I’m going to bed. Good night.

Pain Management doctor

Today I had my referral appointment with the pain management doctor.

I gave a rundown of my symptoms to a nurse, went over most of my medication history (what I could recall off the top of my head, cuz I didn’t have notes), talked about my surgery, and noted my own pain management techniques.

The nurse got my blood pressure and pulse (both fine), then stepped out to talk to the doctor.

Then O Ren Ishii came in and described in fast pace everything I need to do for pain management, and she thinks I’m a great candidate for pain management over continued medications.

Ok so she’s not really O Ren Ishii, but she did remind me of her and I did quite enjoy my visuals of her lopping heads of former doctors who refused to believe my pain. >:)

Her actual name is Dr. Pham, and she gave me the official referral to the pain managment shrink that Dr. Giudice wants me to see. Dr. Pham also wants me to try Neurontin as pain-management medication. She said if that doesn’t work, she wants me to look into Cymbalta, which is an antidepressant but works really well for pain management she says, and beyond that, it would be nerve blocks.

I was struck by this, and told her I’d read Dr. Ian Fraser’s lecture about unsheathed myelin nerve clusters being implicated in endometriosis. She looked from me to her nurse assistant and back to me again, smiled a little and said ‘yes’, and seemed awestruck that I’d possess such knowledge. I told her I was grateful that she and Dr. Giudice are on board with Dr. Fraser’s work.

However, I vetoed the nerve block idea, because they are temporary and it’s hard to get an appointment centered around the exact time I’ll be in a lot of pain, in order to get the nerve block. And it’s expensive – it would just milk the insurance. I told Dr. Pham that it would be a great idea if I were in pain 24-7 though. She respected and seemed to agree with me.

I told Dr. Pham that I need to research the neurontin and the cymbalta before getting a prescription from her, and she told me that was fine. I expressed reservations, and noted that I’m super sensitive to medications. We went over my previous go at antidepressants back in 2000-2002 and how I could only take up to 6mg in liquid form of antidepressants, because higher doses than that gave me full body joint pain to the point where I had to undergo months of physical therapy, and felt like I was experiencing growing pains all over again. I talked about how I became schizophrenic on Zoloft after 11 days, and that on Paxil, I lost the ability to feel any emotion except inner restlessness that made it feel like termites in my brain, and exacerbated suicidal ideation to the point that I created a plan to kill myself. So I went to the doctor to get off Paxil, was almost locked up, had to convince the doctor to just switch my meds, and I got on Celexa.
I plateaued on Celexa after 6 months, then fired psychiatrists and antidepressants altogether.

Of course, the doctor nodded and continued to insist I at least give the neurontin and cymbalta a try.

Of course.

Because doctors have always known best for me. I mean, burning off endo lesions during my laparoscopy totally helped with my pain, right? And putting me on Yasmin didn’t make me suicidal, and oh yeah, Iburpofen alone has always done the trick in fully managing the pain, right? Because doctors know best.

When I got home, I researched neurontin, and the side effects are scary as all get-out. I searched the Daily Strength forum and found displeasing info there, and sought out info on LiveJournal.

I googled for info on neurontin and it’s other name – gabapentin, and found the following:

Anticonvulsant drugs tied to increased risk of suicide

Neurontin (Gabapentin) – Adverse Event Reports – Death – Suicidal Ideation

Common Migraine, Epilepsy Drugs Linked to Suicide Risk

Certain Anticonvulsants Linked to Increased Risk for Suicide, Violent Death

Yeah uh… how ’bout no.

T-minus 6 days…

The pain began on Friday, April 30 and has been a thorn in my side ever since. It’s ovarian pain, and until today it was centered on the right side. Now it’s both sides. The pain has been intermittent and stabby for the past four days.

What really ticks me off is that for the past week, I had been trying to omit sugar from my diet again. I had gotten down to one small serving of something sugary per day, but this only lasted for four days before the PMS set in.

Once the PMS sets in, I am no longer in control of my body. Seriously, it’s like this giant alien bores into my skull and directs me to eat and drink as much junk food as possible.

I had been working out in the gym – I started going to the gym again on April 27 for the first time in 41 days. I went to the gym again on April 29, and I also biked to work that day. I took Friday off from the gym, but bicycled 10 miles around the island on Sunday with my friend. The weather has been sunny and warm, and so bicycling has been a priority for me again.

Despite all this exercise, the massive sugar cravings set in on Friday, April 30, AFTER the ovarian pain set in. I need to note that for myself, so I don’t go off on one of my guilt-ridden tirades against myself again, saying that eating this or that CAUSED the pain. It didn’t. I gave in to the sugar cravings by nightfall, and had three scoops of sugar in a giant mug of caffeinated tea.

Oh yeah – the caffeine cravings – those set in a day or two earlier than the sugar cravings did last week.

I spent the entire weekend drinking sweet coffee drinks – mocha being the drink of choice. I used my almond milk on one out of three occasions, instead of cow’s milk.

The worst offense possible to myself is when I willingly cracked open a can of Coca-Cola we still had in the house from a long-ago house party. I drank half of it, and savoured every moment of it, before forcing myself to dump the rest down the sink drain.

Today I even failed the sugar restriction at work. I was thirsty and had neglected to bring my water bottle with me, so one of the kids offered me a Capri Sun juice pack, which was left over from snack. It was wild cherry flavour, which thankfully no longer contains high fructose corn syrup. It has lots of juice concentrates and sugars, which are still bad for me.

When I got home from work, I gorged on the last bit of chocolate I could find in the house, and ate it with a bag of pop-chips.

I could be in denial about PMS with all the coffee I had drank this weekend. I could be in denial with the ovarian pain. I could be in denial about feeling like I’m out of breath even by simply bending forward to pick something up or walk more than half a block down the street.

But once I’m sitting there eating chocolate and salty potato chips together in the same mouthful, there’s no way I can remain in denial. Well, that and drinking the Coke yesterday…yeah. I’m fully aware that I’m severely premenstrual.

George is due no Sunday, May 9. He was a day late last month. At the rate I’m going this month, my bet is that he’ll be up to 3 days early.

That means I have to have my house in order and my meals laid out before Friday of this week.

I’d like to also note that the inner-thigh-based nerve inflammation pain has just started – right now.

I just looked up a list of inflammatory foods I should be avoiding. Of course, it’s stuff I already know I should be avoiding. ;)

Living With Rheumatoid Arthritis has an article on inflammatory foods.

The Conscious Life has an article on inflammatory foods.

Here is the rundown:

No Sugar

No Cooking Oil

No Trans Fats

No Dairy Products

No Feedlot-Raised Meat

No Red Meat

No Alcohol

No Refined Grains

No Artificial Food Additives

No Chemical Sugar Sweeteners

No Table Salt

No Nightshade Vegetables (egg plant, potatoes, tomatoes, peppers)

I just added the italicised no-nos to my No Fly List (since I already have the others on my list).

6:49pm Edit I am literally waddling. I feel like I weigh 250 lbs (113 kg). I am SO tired after doing one thing, such as putting the dishes away or wiping the counter down. I have to keep resting. I’m out of breath. My legs feel like lead. Ugh. :(