I Will Not Suffer In Silence

So the threat of cramps was real. I’ve been bleeding heavily all day, and the cramps got to me at work twice today. I consumed 1,600mg of Ibuprofen, and now at 9:25pm I’m crying “Uncle” and took 800mg more of Ibuprofen, for a total of 2,400mg today. I’m camped out in bed with the laptop, and a rice heating pad on my pelvis. I wager I’m at a 6.8 on the pain scale right now.

This recent bout of cramps began soon after I lifted 3lb weights. I had stretched my torso out doing some of the weight exercises, and that may have stirred things up a bit. Ouch.

I really want half a vicoprofen, but I’m down to my last pill. Time to get in touch with a Kaiser GYN. I’m new to Kaiser again. I had Kaiser through my work for a short time in 2012 when my husband was unemployed. Then I got on his insurance once he became re-employed. Then, this year I had to get on Kaiser through my work again, because my husband divorced me to go be with the woman he cheated on me with…who lives in welfare housing and has two children under the age of 6. Good luck with that new life. He has to support her, her two kids, AND me (through alimony). Good luck with that. [expletives deleted].

I’m bleeding like a stuck pig, I swear.

I wanted to update you on the alcohol consumption. The fear of side effects on Wellbutrin did not last long, and so I went back to drinking while out at the clubs. So far I have not had any seizures, but I have been seriously hungover from only 3 drinks. :p

The depression still comes in waves, and is no longer tied to being bedridden from endometriosis. Nowadays, when I talk about depression, it’s because of the affair and divorce.

But the endometriosis is still there with me. Right now, the pain is radiating from my uterus down both of the outsides of my legs, down to my knees. I have been super fatigued all day. I came home from work and just parked my ass on the couch for hours before finally crawling into bed out of resignation to the cramps.

I hope tomorrow is a better day.

I had no pre-period pain or warnings, so I forgot to pay attention to the calendar, and george showed up unexpectedly on November 30.
So this cycle, he showed up on day 28. Last month was day 33.

Because of the gabapentin, I remain active and not bedridden. For example, on the day george showed up (Saturday, Nov. 30), I had been out and about with a friend, and had been out dancing the night before. I was tired and my body ached, and my low back was pretty painful. I grunted a lot as I moved around that day, but I thought it was from all the dancing I’d done the night before, and all the furniture moving I’d done the same day as I’d gone out dancing.

The pain ramped up a bit on Saturday, and I ended up eating 1,600mg Ibuprofen. I dreaded the next day, because I’d promised a friend I’d help her move. The blood started out the same way it had last month – really dark brown at first. This time it was also clotty.
I also experienced nausea, but now I’m wondering if that is from the Wellbutrin, as I’ve had nausea nearly every day.
On Sunday, I was bleeding moderately heavy. I got up and helped my friend move. The pain wasn’t an actual issue, because I’d consumed a total of 2,400mg of Ibuprofen throughout the day. The issue was the crushing fatigue and weak muscles in my thighs and legs. I really helped out a lot though, including helping hefting a mattress and box spring, lifting and carrying boxes, and even hauling a dolly loaded down with boxes up 6-8 marble steps. After that, I took a few boxes up 3 flights of stairs, and helped heft the mattress up those 3 flights of stairs. THEN I declared myself done.
The pain didn’t actually become debilitating until Sunday evening, when I took half a vicoprofen and sat with my heating pad for the rest of the evening.

Today is still moderately heavy, and the threat of more cramps looms.

But damn, knowing that without the gabapentin, I’d be bedridden… and after 28 years battling this disease, puking from the pain, bedridden every month, missing work and school… I just can’t believe the new life I have now because of the gabapentin. Wow.