“do you have a sunburn?”

At a party tonight, I was asked, “do you have a sunburn?”, to which I replied something along the lines of, “no, I always get a flushed face when I’m drinking. I blame it on my Appalachian family – they’re a mix of Scotch-Irish and get red faces when drinking booze.”

Well curiosity got the best of me in this late hour and I googled it.

I found goaskalice. Hm! I never knew that. I’m not Asian, but that’s still fascinating.

Then I found a webmd.com article. Hey! Neat! I drank white wine predominantly tonight, and some gluten-free beer (yes gluten-free beer, it exists).

Fascinating! So white wine is a trigger for red face! Very interesting indeed.

I wonder if there’s a yeast connection? If so, I’ll have to eliminate several alcoholic beverages from my diet now, too. :(

GAAAHHHH

June 8, 2006: Had allergy test which left me loopy from all the histamine reaction. Sister had her gall bladder removed (she’s recovering fine, thanks), missed Pissup Night due to stress and low funds. Cleaned the hell out of the house, started packing for the move.

June 9, 2006: Cleaned the hell out of the house, started packing for the move.

June 10, 2006: Cleaned the hell out of the house, packed for the move.

June 11, 2006: Cleaned the hell out of the house, packed for the move.

June 13, 2006: 1pm Gynecology appointment whereby I presented my entire george history. Came out of the appointment with instructions to return on June 21st for surgery consultation! ABOUT FREAKIN TIME!!!
Came home, zoomed to realtor’s office to sign the papers on the new place and hand over some cash.
Then I was supposed to go meet a friend at a coffeehouse, but instead, I was hypoglycemic and therefore emotional and forgetful, so I went home and had a meltdown. My friend called and I felt terrible. Rescheduled, though.

June 14, 2005: spent half the day studying for interview on Thursday, then the rest of the day packing the house up.

June 15, 2006: Got up, started to panic about Jury Duty on the 28th. Also panicked about money transfer expected today for the new home. Also nervous about interview today.
Boyfriend wants to have a sale in the pool room, so I look at the calendar and realise that the only weekend to do this is June 24…CRAP I FORGOT TO RESERVE IT….

(Ok just called and reserved it.)

…Around 11am, I realise I don’t have any slacks that fit anymore, so I panicked. I checked my bank account again and the money had transferred through from my remote savings to my local bank account. I ran to a department store, opened store credit, bought some slacks and a blouse, and ran to the bank and cut a cashier’s check for the rest of the money owed (leaving me with $166 to my name until the state unemployment check arrives). Zoomed back home, changed into new clothes, zoomed to realtor, dropped off the rental agreement and the remaining monies owed, and zoomed off to job interview.

I’m not sure, but I think I got the job….I’ll find out on Tuesday when Nice Lady said she’d call, so more on that later.

Got back into town, calmed down, and drove the speed limit. Went to the library and dropped off a book that’s 2 days overdue (oops). Then went to Walgreen’s to see if they still had the boxes I said I’d pick up at noon (before I had a panic attack over interview clothing and promptly forgot about boxes). Waited a few minutes while they tried to find the guy who was collecting boxes…they found the boxes, yay! I haven’t even unfolded them to see how big they are, yet, but…boxes, yay!

Then I got back on IRC and told my impatient friends and boyfriend about the jobness.

Now, I’m drinking 2 shots of Cruzan rum, remembering to breathe, and trying to mellow out before tackling more packing.

Oh, and tonight is Pissup Night. Everyone’s meeting at the German restaurant.
The very expensive German restaurant.
*sigh*
A friend just wrote to say that she’d buy me a beer if I show up.
*sigh*
I can’t have beer on this damned diet.

I can, however, load up my boyfriend’s flask full of rum and head over there.

Hmmm.

Yes, I know I promised to stop drinking (again).

As soon as I learn how to deal with stress, perhaps I’d adhere to that promise.

10:24pm Edit: I just wanted to let ya’ll know that I DID go to the bar and I DID BYOB DIY PUNK ROCK OI OI.

3 more shots of Cruzan and now I’m 3 sheets to the wind…
wheee! I feel MUCH better now.
There were six of us sitting outside the Speisekammer. It started out mellow and of course got louder as the Mass kept arriving for my friends. I kept up nicely with my stuff.

I rode my bicycle there and back, which is a total of just over 4 miles (6km). On my way there, the Bay looked SO blue. I had been near tears after receiving a letter from my cousin (who has end stage hepatitis C). He’d written about how my boyfriend’s band had influenced him. His writing is the same way he speaks; stream-of-conscience, raw, emotional, no bullshit. It was the thing that broke me finally, after everything today. His letter stated that he enjoys every minute to its fullest, not knowing when his last day will be, trying to make things right before he dies, and he thanked me for being the only family who still loves him, knowing that our kind puts out all this love and always gets shit on in return…

Not wanting to spend the evening sobbing, I tearfully gathered my bicycle and bag, poured my rum into an empty Vitamin Water™ bottle, mixed it with some water and ice, left a note in case I was out very late, and set off.
As I rode down the bike path, that’s when I saw just how amazingly blue the water was. I’d made a similar comment about the sky early just this morning – that it was as blue as the tarp that covers our bicycles on the balcony, and what a pretty day it was. I could smell the sea in the air, and I thanked my lucky stars that I fulfilled a childhood promise to myself and moved out of Michigan, and now live in California, 2500 miles across country. Nine years this month, I’ve been out here. Geez though, I can’t remember if it was the 14th or the 21st that we arrived at our new home in California.

I thought of my cousin during the ride, knowing that he too lives near the sea, albeit he’s on the Atlantic ocean and I’m on the Pacific ocean. But he can go out to see the ocean at any time and walk along the beach. I need to write that in my next letter to him, to remind him to do this more often, if he’s been neglecting such beauty.

On my ride back home, I regretted never having taken night rides on my bicycle until now. The bike path is there all year long, and I’ve only ever used it during the daytime.
As I rode, I was reminded of the night rides I used to take on the other side of the Bay, when I lived in San Mateo. gods, it’s been eight years since that time.
Eight years and life was SO different back then. I was mid-twenties but still just a kid. Still going to the nightclubs in the middle of the week with my pals dhog, Danyeke and Blark.
We’ve all left our ghosts back there on that side of the Bay, still doing our thing back in some time warp.

I’m not making sense anymore, and I’m becoming emotional again. Ahhh booze.

Time for more water.

Anyway, the bike path is still accessible. I’m still going to be living on the island, only a mile and a half (2km?) from where I live now. I just won’t be able to access the bike path right outside my door anymore.

Breakfast: 1 bowl trader joe’s protein crunch cereal with rice milk
Lunch: trader joe’s sushi rolls, hot tea w/ vanilla creamer
Any snacks: flax-seed chips and salsa, red mountain dew

Sooo, I got to catch up on a lot of stuff. Again.

I went for ultrasound to the abdomen and pelvic region on June 28th. I watched the ultrasound screen as the intern rolled the device thingy over me, and I saw her marking black spots. I worried a bit, but said to her that my mom had ovarian cysts when she was my age, so I wouldn’t be surprised whatever turned up.

The intern didn’t confirm nor deny anything. She was trained well. I couldn’t even guess from her face. She was a cute thang recently imported from Georgia, too, so it was fun to talk with her about the South.

I was told my doctor would get the results from the ultrasounds within a couple of days.
Days passed, no word. But that’s good. Nevertheless, I began to worry. I began to do the hypochondriac “what if” scenarios. I wouldn’t have been so worried had I not had an increase in ovarian pain on the left side – it’s been steadily increasing since the visit to the gynecologist on June 14th.
My bf and I had what amounted to a sex marathon over a few days (sometimes that happens! ;) And the pain only got worse. I had to run to the bathroom to cry from the pain at one point.

So because of the increase in pain, I fell into the “what if” routine and by yesterday I was nearly panicked half to death over anticipation of the test results today.

Today I worked a half day and drove out to East Oaktown to see the doc. I love that doctor, even if I did gross her out with my specimen. :)

She refused the specimen politely, and I learned that humagus “squid” like that are common, even in normal menstrating chix.

The doc went over the ultrasound results and told me that I have an ovarian cyst.

But get this, it doesn’t explain the pain I’ve been having, because the cyst is on the right ovary, the pain is on the left!!

I was informed that the cyst is about 11mm – that means it’s as big as my alien baby in my tit was, back in 2002.

So anyway, the doc sez that in medical speak, ALL unfertilised eggs are cysts. And sometimes, an egg comes out and just gets STUCK in the hallway, so to speak. ;)
Doc sez most likely it will dissolve, and she said that’s also common, a.k.a normal, for women to get such ovarian cysts. She says rarely do they become inflamed or infected. But we’ll keep an eye on mine, she said.

The good news is that the rest of the ultrasound came out normal – no cancer spots, no fibroids, no abnormal thickening of the uterine walls, etc.
Same with abdominal ultrasound – perfect picture.

I’m glad i’m not terminally ill or some shit – actually I’m ECSTATIC. Now you see why my mood is set to “a bit cheerful, considering”.

But wait, there’s more!

The doctor thinks much of the pain I’m having is due to continuous pockets of air in my intestines that are causing the pain, which presses down cuz it’s inflating the intestines… presses down on my bladder and girl parts, exacerbating george pain, and creating sex pain.

Doc sez she believes that this air issue I have is Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).

My dad has just been diagnosed with IBS this past year.

And get this, my mom had an ovarian cyst at my age, as I’ve stated previously.

Doc sent me home with more drugs to try for the preliminary diagnosis of IBS, and a refill on the T3, and I have to read all I can on IBS.

Doc even brought out a huge medical book for me to glance over while she told me about IBS. She was hugely impressed with my endo charts and the copying of my own medical records and said she’d pore over it all.

I go back to see Doc in a month, and she’ll have figured out by then where to send me next for tests.

In the meantime, I have to wipe poo on a card and take it in this week to her to send off for analysis.

To sum up, the doc still thinks my Endo complaint is valid, but today she pushed IBS as a more probable issue in conjunction with dysmenorrhea. She’s not ruling out Endometriosis, though.

So my current dietary experiment (which so far is in its 2nd month of FAILURE) has to be fully re-assessed to now include IBS restrictions, Just In Case, so ordered the doc.

I got home and called up my dad. My dad rocks. He understands these are preliminary findings by my doc and he wasn’t phased by that or the cyst at all.

My mom, on the other hand, will freak. So I might not tell her at all.

Dad told me IBS is largely dietary and therefore is 100% curable, and he recommended some dietary fiber supplements, foods to avoid, and told me about the pills he was on (which are different from the pills I’ll be on. Oh, I didn’t mention that part – I’ll be taking Donnatal as necessary, so I have to read up on that, too).

Listening to my dad relaxed me even more about all of this, and like I said, I am already ecstatic that nothing life-threatening was found.

Though I’m still troubled by the pain near my left ovary.