I Will Not Suffer In Silence

Every year a group of friends and I raise money for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, and we walk 6 miles (10km) for the SF AIDS Walk.

It is fortunate timing for this nanny job, as I have to take the baby on a walk 1-2 times per day. I’ve only forgotten two days so far but I’ve kept a pretty good schedule in general of how far I’ve walked each day. July 2nd was the only day I split up the mileage over two walks. The rest of the time, I’ve only walked the baby in the morning, because it’s been too hot to walk her in the afternoon. Today may be different, as it’s slightly chilly outside. All I have to do is give her some extra bundling.

Keep in mind I only work Tuesdays through Thursdays.

7/2/08 walked approx. 2.5 miles
Can’t recall how far on 7/3/08
Can’t recall how far on 7/8/08
7/9/08 1.6 miles
7/10/08 2.1 miles
7/15/08 2 miles
6pm edit: I walked another 2 miles today with the baby, so 4 miles total. :)

I’m pretty confident that by this Sunday, I’ll be able to do the walk without too much staggering afterwards. ;)

The baby is down for a nap right now, so I’m off to study up on Endometriosis-related stuff. George is due on Monday, July 21st, only six days away. I’m sad that I’ll miss a week of work because of this. I’ve already informed the family as to my condition so that they can get another sitter for that week. Because they only need me three days per week, I need every last cent I earn. The agency has NOT come through for me with further work, yet they acted all mad when I said I couldn’t make it to the company picnic coming up this weekend. Sorry, no.

Oh, almost forgot to mention – I’ve fallen out of practice with Qigong, and my practitioner hasn’t been doing any free sessions because she’s not had enough people to commit. She called me today to tell me that she’s starting up Qigong instruction again, this time on weekends soon in a local-ish library.
Excellent. I can’t wait. I need discipline and to get back into the habit again. This past month, I have treated my body like crap. Worse than crap. I’ve been downright abusive and harmful. Time to stop that. I’ll be doing the liver and kidney cleanse my Qigong practitioner gave me, hopefully starting next weekend. My man handles all the groceries now, and he said next Saturday is the next available time we’ll have any real time together (that’s usually the case – Saturdays are Our Day).

Must. Fix. Body.

*tappity tappity tappity* away at keyboard around 4pm, working…

rrrrRRRRAAARRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!

*growwwwwwwl*FUUUUUUU**!!!!!

*Deep breath*

*ahem*

And that’s what it’s like inside my body and brain when the PMS officially hits me.

Blood pressure surges. The need to throw something through the window is nearly undeniable. Pulse races. And then the junk food cravings make it all the worse and they all set upon me at once, and of course I don’t keep much of that junk food crap in the house, so the frustration is that much worse as a result. And I can never stock up in time before the cravings, because the cravings are different every month. There’s a couple staples, like Cheetos and nuclear cheese. I’m sure that just makes the symptoms worse.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

6:45pm Edit: I just applied the exercises I learned in the Qigong class I attended yesterday. This helped immensely. I’m developing a routine right now to do Qigong several times a day. Oh, and now I’m also drinking Trader Joe’s Bedtime Tea to make sure I stay chilled out for the rest of the night.

I’ve gone to my first Qigong session today – it’s free and open to the public every week, by a woman I met in the business of metaphysics class I attend each month. This is the second Qigong practitioner I’ve met – the first one never called me back.
This woman also does the Chi Nei Tsang – she’s the person I saw last Thursday.

Qigong is hard work!

I had lots of trouble with my lower back (it’s gone into protective mode because George is due this Saturday), my knees (they’re congenitally misaligned so they hurt when I bend the knees for too long during exercise, shoulda wore my braces today), and my shoulders and neck during today’s session. I’ve learned that I have VERY WEAK upper body/arm/shoulder strength – I cannot even hold my own arms out at shoulder height for longer than 30 seconds because it hurts my shoulders and neck too much.

I need to work on that.

My practitioner gave me a sheet of exercise poses to get comfy with. I can’t wait to try it out! But today, I’ve exerted my body enough. I don’t want to overdo it.

Tomorrow morning I go back to the gym routine with my friend, and tomorrow evening, I’ll do the Qigong.

TMI WARNING!

Last night, I practiced what I could remember from the Chi Nei Tsang appointment, and today it paid off – I had to ‘go’ first thing in the morning, and my stool was loosey goosey just like when my practitioner did the Chi Nei Tsang on me. Yay! I moved stuff!

I’ve also been listening to Progressive Relaxation tapes that my friend gave me. The person on the tapes is David Wise, Ph.D., author of “Progressive Relaxation: The Practice of Conscious Effortlessness”. The tapes have been very helpful for me. I find that I’m feeling more relaxed and remembering to breathe, and my neck and shoulders aren’t in as much pain as they usually are at night or in the morning upon waking.

I’m really hoping all this pays off even a little bit in time for george’s arrival this weekend. And I really hope that over the short term, say over the next six months, I really start to feel relief from the pain.

Ooops, I forgot to update you on my workouts since March 11th!

I didn’t work out again until March 25th, because I had such severe Endometriosis pain, which left me bedridden for days. And then I spent three days having withdrawals from the Dilaudid I took for the pain. I’m NEVER taking that shit again.

I’ve lined up a Qigong practitioner, and I’ve got blood tests scheduled this month to re-examine my liver enzymes (was told to do so in 3 months). Perhaps I can go back to taking the Tylenol 3 for pain if my liver enzymes have lowered enough. I’ve been sober for 69 days, and I’ve been taking Milk Thistle for the liver. And I’ve abstained as much as I possibly could from any Tylenol (that’s why I’ve been put on codeine sulfate and then hydromorphone to manage the pain).

Hopefully all of this has allowed my liver to overcome some of the damage I’ve done to it with Tylenol-based pain meds and social drinking since I was a teenager…

What would rule is if Qigong and energy work alone can help with the pain. No pain meds have ever helped without detrimental side effects or damage to other parts of my body. Chiropractic was ludicrous to suggest, but I tried it anyway, and it didn’t help (but it’s great for my neck/back issue!). Acupressure and acupuncture only helps in the short term, and the effects wear off the same day.

So next cycle is April 12 – we’ll see what I can do for the pain at that time.

SO, The Workout:

March 25: elliptical for 20 mins, arm rowing for 5 mins, butterfly for 5 mins, treadmill for 10 mins.

March 26: elliptical for 20 mins, arm rowing for 5 mins, butterfly for 5 mins, shoulders for 5 mins.

March 27: swimming for 35 mins – use of swim board and water stretches, water marching, treading, butterflys.

March 28: swimming for 35 mins – use of swim board and water stretches, water marching, treading, butterflys.

April 1: elliptical for 15 mins, arm rowing for 10 mins, butterflys for 5 mins.