Day 3 in the Underworld

Today is heavy and painful. After 7am, I woke with severe low back pain that left me hunched over further than I normally am when I get out of bed or a chair in pain. I could have scraped my fingertips on the ground, it seemed I was bent over so far.

I ate some cereal and almond milk, and consumed a whole Tylenol 3 pill first thing this morning. I went back to bed with a heating pad on my lower back, and alternated between the cat/dog and the cat/cow yoga poses on the floor and on the bed. I whimpered a lot.

Then I went back to the kitchen and reheated my corn and rice heating pads. I sat down in the kitchen chair while waiting, and my pain dissipated. So I’ve been in this same chair ever since, reheating the pads as necessary. That’s about 4 hours now I’ve been in this chair, but the pain is manageable. The moment I get up and walk to the bathroom, the pain starts again. So here’s where I’ll stay, like I should have done yesterday.

I’d also like to point out that my pain was managed well by the Tylenol 3 for the past four hours, and I have been coherent and rational, albeit moderately sleepy.

It just sucks that a synthetic pain relief pill which eats my kidneys and liver works better for pain management than a plant growing in nature, which will not kill my kidneys and liver but will put me in a vegetative state for 8 or more hours.

I’ve tried Sativa. I’ve tried Kush. I’ve tried Indica. Now I’ve tried CBD. All make me incredibly high, even on low dose, with minimal pain relief.
Actually, the Indica, Sativa and Kush INCREASED my pain.

Bleh.

I am currently on round two of medication for the day: 400mg Ibuprofen and half a Tylenol 3.

Gonna try to get some homework done.

6:48pm edit:
Around 4pm I took my third round of medication – a full Tylenol 3. So it was about 8am, 12pm, 4pm.
At 6:48pm it became suddenly hard to breathe. Maybe didn’t drink enough water today. Chugging water now and going to lay down. I am happy to have gotten about six hours of homework done!

8:07pm edit:
I do not understand why, for two days in a row, I’ve become full on high as a kite on medication taken hours earlier. Today it was nearly three hours after I had taken my last dose of Tylenol 3, and suddenly I was high as a kite and it was hard to breathe. I had the codeine suffocation like I’d taken too much of it. When I went to lay down, I began getting piercing pain in the abdominal wall, just to the left of my belly button.
And then the coughing fit started. I spent 20-25 minutes coughing violently while in bed. I coughed til my throat bled. Every breath in itched. This could have been a dust allergy interacting with the upper respiratory tract infection, I dunno. The news says there’s a Pertussis outbreak. I am supposedly vaccinated against it, but my immune system is non-existent so who knows.

My coughing fit did not calm down until I applied eucalyptus chest rub to my chest and inhaled it off of a cotton ball. I am so glad I spent the cash on that stuff at the hippie store.

Two last things: #1 the weather has been mild and sunny for the past two days and I have not seen any of it due to the pain and medication haze.
#2 I forgot to mention that I had called my GYN about the greyish clot I found two days ago, and I heard back from the doctor’s office yesterday, just as I was fighting the last bits of coherency as the cannabidiol took me down.
The person I spoke with said it’s entirely possible that my endometrioma ruptured and that could be what I am seeing what with all the grey and dark brown blood and debris. I expressed worry over what my innards must be covered in, if this is diseased material that ruptured inside of me. She told me there’s no way of knowing what, if any damage has been done. She wrote off my worry. Stupid human.

This is where it gets interesting – I Wait For It and find out just how bad the pain gets as new growths and adhesions start to take root…if in fact the endometrioma did rupture.

Go me.

Day 3 in the Underworld

Today I slept in til 10:30am, but when I got up, immediately the pain and bleeding resumed.

I ate a breakfast bar and the last quarter of a protein bar I didn’t finish yesterday, and washed it down with Almond milk so I could take my medication. I took 600mg Advil gel-caps and half a Tylenol 3.

I heated up two rice pads, and then I could not get comfortable. Standing hurt. Sitting hurt worse. Laying on my back hurt. Laying on my side hurt worse. So for awhile I was okay as long as I laid on my belly on the bed with the heating pads on my lower back. I tried propping up on my elbows so I could be on the laptop, but typing on the laptop meant ‘moving around too much’. :(

I’d say I’m at a 7 on the pain scale.

After a short while, my neck and shoulders had enough of that, whether propped up or laying face down, and of course I developed a headache (thanks bulging disks in the neck).

Now I have reheated the rice pads and I’m reclined against two pillows and a pillow chair. The drugs have kicked in enough for the pain to begin easing off. Sleep will follow soon.

Side note: I’m still having crazy/bad dreams. Could be from the meds, not sure at this point cuz the dreams have been ongoing since a week or so before my period.

Currently it is 65°F outside, bright and sunny. Today I am feeling bad for not being out in it, and yet the brightness is hurting my eyes, even through the windows.

Day 2 in the Underworld

Yesterday I consumed over 1,600mg of Advil gel-caps and I think a total of 2 Tylenol 3. I sometimes forget.

…counts remaining pills…

Yeah, that’s correct.

Today I have taken a total of 2 Tylenol 3 and I have consumed 1,000mg of Advil gel-caps.

*** TMI ALERT ***


My day started at a 7 on the Mankoski pain scale and when I sat up in bed, blood just gushed forth. I am so glad that I wore my super giant fabric pad to bed last night. When I got to the bathroom, I was amazed at how soaked the pad was in just that instant. When I had cleaned myself up and got up to flush the toilet, I was amazed to see freshly clotted blood on the lid of the toilet behind me. I tried to wipe it up with a quick motion, but it still smeared. Shock set in at that point, I swear. I can only handle so much blood.
My husband came home from the gym about that time, and I emerged from the bathroom, wide-eyed, and told him all about it, the poor thing.

He takes it in stride, I think. Poor guy has been seeing me in pain and with abnormal periods for the last ten years, now. Hopefully he’s used to the TMI. We’ve both seen each other through surgeries and worse, anyway. We’re young veterans, heh.

In other news, I forgot to take my supplements so far today. It’s been hard, since yesterday and today I have suffered moderate nausea and low appetite.
Last night, my husband brought home sugar-free, dairy-free Coconut Bliss ice cream, and I ate that for dinner, heh.

I noticed that when I’m bedridden, I’m pretty much on a cereal diet, or a diet similar to one who has the flu. Sometimes there’s a load of comfort food / junk food thrown in, but not always.

Today I got so nauseous that I had to stop reading my homework, and I could not look at the computer for very long. I’d type something in chat and then look away for minutes. Still, I forced myself to make some lunch around 2:30pm or so. I cooked up some chicken and made a ‘Thai’ broth; a cup of chicken broth with half a can of coconut milk, 1tbsp chili paste, 2tbsp fish sauce, and some other seasonings. I added broccoli and mushrooms, onions and garlic, and some baked chicken. I put it all over some Basmati rice. It was pretty good. Needs to be spicier next time, and less salty.

After lunch, I read some more homework for a bit, then took a shower. The bleeding usually abates when I spend time in the shower or bath. Or at least it used to. For the last several menstrual cycles, this has not been the case. It’s more like a scene out of Stephen King’s “Carrie”.

Oh and I’m still having weird dreams and nightmares. Last night I had a doozy – an actual out of body experience from sleep state. It was actually kind of neat, though.

Tonight my husband has a dinner engagement that he’s been looking forward to me attending with him, but I have to pass. I don’t want to be center of attention when the cramps start back up again. I don’t feel like being out in public with this much bleeding going on. I don’t use tampons because I’ve always been prone to yeast infections and urinary tract infections, and on top of it, I have a short vagina and a retroverted uterus, so things hurt when they’re put into the canal. And anyway, I bleed right through a damned tampon. So in case anyone wanted to suggest that in order to get me out of the house, you can forget about it. ;)
I feel bad, but at the same time, I’d rather not move around much and make the pain worse. Even getting out of bed to make lunch earlier set off a new round of cramps, and I had taken 400mg Advil. I should have taken twice that, but I knew I was already at the 1,000mg mark for the day, so I backed off until after I got out of the shower, when I took a half a Tylenol 3 in order to make sure there is constant overlap in my medication dosing. Just don’t wanna chance getting up to 7 or 8 on the pain scale again.

The past two days have been sunny and in the 70s outside, and I have not seen any of it. This time around, I don’t even care.

Symptom tracking

I have spent all day today going back through this blog and digging out information for MyMonthlyCycles.com.

Awhile back, I registered with a bunch of symptom tracking websites to try ’em all out. So far, MyMonthlyCycles.com works the best for period tracking, but it’s obvious that the site is there for young women who want to breed, and the site has a lot of limitations to women like me with gynecological disorders who are trying to track our periods.

Despite the limitations, it still seems to do the best report output of compiled data.

Because I have spent all day on this, I don’t feel like rehashing my symptoms here in prose, so I’ll just give the straight up info I’d spewed on the symptom tracking website:

Tuesday, June 1, 2010:
Tylenol 3 at bedtime – partially for cramping, partially for joint pain, partially for brain weasels. This is also the day I had to go to E.R. after going into respiratory distress over an assistant teacher’s perfume. I received 3 shots that day: 1 Benadryl, 1 Atavan, 1 Epinephrine. I slept for most of the day and into the night.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010:
Took 600mg advil before bed due to cramping.

Thursday, June 3, 2010:
Some cramping, nausea, 99.9°F fever.

Friday, June 4, 2010:
My Period – First Day? Yes
Flow: Spotting Flow Color: Brown Clots: none
Comments: Mild cramps – intermittent. Nauseous. Pain around a 4 on the scale. Super tired – in bed by 9pm.

Saturday, June 5, 2010:
Flow: Medium Flow Color: Brown Clots: none
Comments: Spotting turned to flow, then got heavy by nighttime. 7 on the pain scale.

Sunday, June 6, 2010:
Flow: Heavy Flow Color: Dark Red Clots: Medium
Comments: Clots began by nighttime, and I passed a medium one – it took from 10:30pm to 12:30am before it was finally out, and I nearly vomited from the pain. The clot was thick, long. Not very wide. Consumed roughly 2.5 Tylenol 3 and about 1,600mg Ibuprofen for the pain. Had heating pads on all day and night.

Monday, June 7, 2010:
Flow: Medium Flow Color: Red Clots: Small
Comments: Heavy flow in the morning, then medium, then heavy, then medium, then light by nighttime. Took the day off work. Consumed roughly 1,200mg Ibuprofen and 2 Tylenol 3.

I’ve also been having crazy weird dreams and nightmares for the past three or so days – even before I took any Tylenol 3.

I’d like to also note that I have in the past week consumed a lot of cow’s milk ice cream, a lot of mint chocolate candies, and a lot of gluten-free ginger cookies due to out of control sugar cravings.

I have been moderately depressed since my trip to Michigan (May 14 – 23 was the trip), because I am triggered by the horrid housing state in which my mother continues to let herself live in.

Lastly, a note about the weather – I missed out on another gorgeous warm and sunny weekend because I’ve been on the couch since Friday night.

Another wasted weekend

So I was right on Friday – I was about to start any second. I began spotting by around 9:30am, and was surprised to see george two days ahead of schedule. I hadn’t had some of the other warning signs, such as change in mucosa or increased cramping.

The spotting was thick, sticky, and really dark reddish brown. Could be a by-product of the ovarian cyst, or it could be due to all the sugar and caffeine I’ve ingested since my trip to Michigan on May 14 – 23. The caffeine addiction was rekindled during the trip, as is often the case when I’m traveling, and so it was hard to break when I got back to California. I was able to transition from coffee to tea within a week, but I was still consuming caffeine. I had also been eating a lot of chocolate again, and my forehead and temples are paying the price as they always do; I look like a teenager again with all the zits. :(

Friday was unusually sunny – I thought it was supposed to rain, but the sun kept poking through the clouds and fog in large doses – enough so that I got sunburned on the face and neck again. I’ve been refusing to wear sunblock because the only tube I can find in the house has been some Neutrogena stuff that dries and flakes within minutes and makes me look nasty. I just read today that sunblock is pretty much useless, anyway.

I thought for sure that once the spotting started, the pain would begin ramping up, but it didn’t. I made it a goal to finish the entire work day, since I’d left early twice this week already (on Tuesday it was because a co-worker’s perfume put me into respiratory distress, and I went to ER, and on Thursday it was because I was running a 99.9°F temp and feeling really severely tired). I had to pop 600mg of Advil on my lunch break when the cramps ramped up to about a 4 on the scale, but I held fast to my goal and made it through the entire day, even working a half hour later than usual because they were short-staffed by one person.

When I got home from work, my husband, who had been home sick all week with some kind of chest cold, indicated he’d like to get out of the house for a bit. I suggested we take a trip to Costco. I was disappointed to see that they’re still not up on the gluten-free foods thing, yet.
Upon our return home from Costco, we grabbed some dinner at Everett & Jones (eh). When we got home, we were both worn out. I declared crippling fatigue, took a shower, swallowed 600mg of Advil and went to bed by 9pm (1,200mg consumed on Friday).

I woke around 5am with cramps, then went back to sleep til sometime after 7am, until I could sleep no longer. I’d had enough sleep and the pain was ramping up.

I suffered with nausea again this morning. I force fed myself a bowl of cereal with bananas, and the nausea increased.
I didn’t eat again until about 3 hours later.

Today I was able to load the dishwasher and manually wash some dishes that can’t go in the washer, and I was able to reassemble one box fan that I’d taken apart yesterday to clean. I drove us to Berkeley to get my sweetie some gluten-free cupcakes, but before we even got to the freeway, the cramps set in and ramped up. We made it to the bakery and back again, but I had to take half a Tylenol 3 and 600mg of Advil on the road for the pain, and I felt every damned bump in the road. I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth a lot.

When we got back home, I found out that the reason the pain ramped up is because the spotting finally turned into flow. It was still dark reddish brown, with lots of clots.
I took a full Tylenol 3 and spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch. I spent a bit of time today folded over a big pillow and the arm of the couch, as that was the best position for me. Same thing this evening, with heating pads added. Today’s rule has been; Sitting Good, Walking Bad.

I have ingested 2.5 Tylenol 3 pills today and I think 1,600mg Advil. Either 1,200 or 1,600, I’m not sure. I should always remember to write each dose down as I take it.

The pain has been at a 7 for much of today.

My brain is antsy but I’m forced to sit in one place. My joints are aching like hell, possibly from all the ice cream I’ve been consuming. I wonder if that’s contributed to my pain level today. I’m not normally so bad to myself, but the cow’s milk ice cream craving has been out of control this week. I have lactaid pills I take with it. Sure, the lactose intolerance is helped by the pills, but the overall damage done to my body by continuing to consume cow’s milk products is not worth it. By this afternoon, I finally convinced myself to stop eating the ice cream I’d bought.

Tonight, my friends Chase and Jason stopped by to say hello. We’ve not hung out in awhile, so it was good to see them, and they were the first visitors I had right after my laparoscopy, so they know what I look like when drugged and in pain. Plus, their sister suffers with endo (and maybe worse), so we talked about what she’s going through and her upcoming surgery this September. I hope my body cooperates so I can be there for her recovery. I feel terrible that I wasn’t there for my friend Patricia’s last endo surgery, because my body wasn’t cooperating. I was bedridden the week she went to surgery.

We also talked about neurontin, which my new surgeon Dr. Giudice wants to put me on. Jason has been on neurontin for the nerve damage in his neck, and it made him a total zombie. Another ‘NO’ vote. So far it’s been a resounding NO from everyone I’ve talked to. It’s the whole “treatment is worse than the condition” thing again.

I’m stupidly tired from all the medication, and well I’ve been up for 17 hours, so I’m going to bed again. I say ‘again’ because although I’ve been up all day, I haven’t been mobile enough to feel ready to go back to bed. I’m a medicated tired, not a ‘had a full day’ tired. So frustrating. Hence, the ‘wasted weekend’ feeling.

Tomorrow is already Sunday, but it will only be Day 2 of actual flow, and I’ve not even had a heavy flow, yet. I’m assuming I’ll miss Monday and possibly Tuesday unless I bleed like a stuck pig from dawn til 11pm tomorrow. Missing work this week is Not Good™, because it’s the last week of school, which basically is an all hands on deck sort of thing. I want the opportunity to see all my kids go through graduation (there’s one to two class/grade graduations per day this week). I’ve now worked with every single class; the 3-year-old room, the 4-year-old room, the 5-year-old room, the Kindergarteners, the 1st/2nd grade class, and the 3rd/4th/5th grade class.

My body needs to cooperate, dammit.

Making plans before departure to the Underworld

Yesterday and today I’ve been experiencing mild uterine and vaginal cramping. I’ve been “checking” a lot.
I came home from work around 2:30pm with a 99.9°F fever, and it hovered around 99.7 for the rest of the day. I was not able to get a last minute appointment with my acupuncturist.

Despite the low grade fever and cramps, and being a bit sunburned from lunchtime recess at work (I’d forgotten my hat and sunblock again), I still got a burst of energy yesterday evening, as my body went into what I call XXTREME NESTING mode.

My body does this every month right before I bleed. Sometimes I have the energy to act upon the XXTREME NESTING pull, and sometimes I just spin my brain meats and go stir crazy because I’m in too much pain to act on said pull.

Last night I took out recyclables, composting, did a load of laundry, loaded up and ran the dishwasher, got some more grocery shopping done to prepare for being homebound, mailed some bills, and scrubbed the bathtub twice. To my horror, neither the Borax nor the straight vinegar could fully clean the tub. We’d been using novelty Halloween soaps given to us for our wedding, and I’m convinced the soaps contained permanent black dye and wax. Ugh! On top of that, my husband has dyed his hair black twice in the past month and a half, and has not bothered to rinse the residue after his showers. So the tub is to me a horror story. But then, it’s nowhere near my mother’s bathtub. I went to visit my mother a few weeks ago in Michigan – it was my first trip home in six years. She has really let her house go down hill. It made me figuratively and literally sick to be in that house for more than a few minutes. My allergies exploded after 8 minutes in the place.

*shudder*

ANYWAY, after my attempts at cleaning the tub, I was sickened by the vinegar smell and just rinsed the damned tub and called it a night. I took 600mg Advil and went to bed.

I had even more crazy dreams. The dreams this morning entailed not being able to find a cab ride out of Detroit after a night at Cityclub, because the cabbies were taking furlough days on Sundays. We ended up walking all over the city around 4am trying to find a cab before we found out about the furlough issue. Then we ended up at our friend Bronica and Monkey’s place (but in real life, they live in Oakland, CA, not Detroit, MI. I guess it’s similar enough though). Then we took off for food at daylight, and I stopped at a street vendor who was selling broccoli cheese soup in a bread bowl. I convinced her to put the soup in a to-go bowl and put that bowl into the bread bowl so I could enjoy the soup without the gluten, and my husband could share the soup and also eat the glutenous bread. I was also trying to reach a friend or a cousin on my cell phone. I think I was trying to reach my childhood friend Rain, and I told her we were near the intersection of Aricka and Martin Luther King Jr Boulevard.
There is no Aricka street – Aricka is my cousin’s daughter.

Why all these strange dreams?

This morning, I’m registering at 99.4°F temp, and I’m uncomfortably nauseous after one bowl of cereal.

The nausea really pisses me off and usually means I still have an ovarian cyst going on. I’m convinced I’m either going to puke or start bleeding or both before I can get out the door to work. Part of me wants to call in sick, but I’ve already left work early twice this week, and it’s only been a four day work week.

We’ll see what happens next…

T-minus 6 days…

The pain began on Friday, April 30 and has been a thorn in my side ever since. It’s ovarian pain, and until today it was centered on the right side. Now it’s both sides. The pain has been intermittent and stabby for the past four days.

What really ticks me off is that for the past week, I had been trying to omit sugar from my diet again. I had gotten down to one small serving of something sugary per day, but this only lasted for four days before the PMS set in.

Once the PMS sets in, I am no longer in control of my body. Seriously, it’s like this giant alien bores into my skull and directs me to eat and drink as much junk food as possible.

I had been working out in the gym – I started going to the gym again on April 27 for the first time in 41 days. I went to the gym again on April 29, and I also biked to work that day. I took Friday off from the gym, but bicycled 10 miles around the island on Sunday with my friend. The weather has been sunny and warm, and so bicycling has been a priority for me again.

Despite all this exercise, the massive sugar cravings set in on Friday, April 30, AFTER the ovarian pain set in. I need to note that for myself, so I don’t go off on one of my guilt-ridden tirades against myself again, saying that eating this or that CAUSED the pain. It didn’t. I gave in to the sugar cravings by nightfall, and had three scoops of sugar in a giant mug of caffeinated tea.

Oh yeah – the caffeine cravings – those set in a day or two earlier than the sugar cravings did last week.

I spent the entire weekend drinking sweet coffee drinks – mocha being the drink of choice. I used my almond milk on one out of three occasions, instead of cow’s milk.

The worst offense possible to myself is when I willingly cracked open a can of Coca-Cola we still had in the house from a long-ago house party. I drank half of it, and savoured every moment of it, before forcing myself to dump the rest down the sink drain.

Today I even failed the sugar restriction at work. I was thirsty and had neglected to bring my water bottle with me, so one of the kids offered me a Capri Sun juice pack, which was left over from snack. It was wild cherry flavour, which thankfully no longer contains high fructose corn syrup. It has lots of juice concentrates and sugars, which are still bad for me.

When I got home from work, I gorged on the last bit of chocolate I could find in the house, and ate it with a bag of pop-chips.

I could be in denial about PMS with all the coffee I had drank this weekend. I could be in denial with the ovarian pain. I could be in denial about feeling like I’m out of breath even by simply bending forward to pick something up or walk more than half a block down the street.

But once I’m sitting there eating chocolate and salty potato chips together in the same mouthful, there’s no way I can remain in denial. Well, that and drinking the Coke yesterday…yeah. I’m fully aware that I’m severely premenstrual.

George is due no Sunday, May 9. He was a day late last month. At the rate I’m going this month, my bet is that he’ll be up to 3 days early.

That means I have to have my house in order and my meals laid out before Friday of this week.

I’d like to also note that the inner-thigh-based nerve inflammation pain has just started – right now.

I just looked up a list of inflammatory foods I should be avoiding. Of course, it’s stuff I already know I should be avoiding. ;)

Living With Rheumatoid Arthritis has an article on inflammatory foods.

The Conscious Life has an article on inflammatory foods.

Here is the rundown:

No Sugar

No Cooking Oil

No Trans Fats

No Dairy Products

No Feedlot-Raised Meat

No Red Meat

No Alcohol

No Refined Grains

No Artificial Food Additives

No Chemical Sugar Sweeteners

No Table Salt

No Nightshade Vegetables (egg plant, potatoes, tomatoes, peppers)

I just added the italicised no-nos to my No Fly List (since I already have the others on my list).

6:49pm Edit I am literally waddling. I feel like I weigh 250 lbs (113 kg). I am SO tired after doing one thing, such as putting the dishes away or wiping the counter down. I have to keep resting. I’m out of breath. My legs feel like lead. Ugh. :(

Sunday was both painful and productive

Sunday upon waking, my entire back down through the pelvic region was in so much pain that by the time I crawled out of bed, I was nauseous.
There had not been any bleeding overnight – it was completely gone, even upon waking, so all I was dealing with were cramps, but I knew better.

Normally, I need to eat right when I wake up, but because of the pain and nausea, I went right into the bathroom, cleaned out the tub (which ironically helped to loosen my lower back a bit), and filled it with hot water, epsom salt and lavender bubble bath.

I didn’t eat until two hours after waking, and only when prompted by my husband, who made me a yummy cheese and mushroom quesadilla.

Within an hour after eating, I got nauseous again, my body felt like a hot flash had come on and I stripped off my sweatshirt. When I got up out of bed, I felt a gush. I had something big to pass – I could feel it (which is a mighty gross feeling, lemme tell ya).
I began doing the slow large hip circles to get the pelvic region moving, until of course the pain became too much to bear and I stopped. I took half a Tylenol 3 and 600mg Ibuprofen, and went and sat out in the backyard to get some sun, because I was feeling so gloomy.

I stayed in limbo with moderate bleeding for just over two hours, and then another huge surge of pain swept over me just before 3pm. Now, I was already on half a Tylenol 3 for the bad lower back pain and the first surge of pelvic pain that day, but I scrambled to the bathroom and took an entire Tylenol 3 to add to the armaments needed for the big fight.

I basically spent most of the day in bed, drugged to the gills once again.

Sometime in the early evening – my husband suggested we go for a walk around the block, since I was being so bitter about missing sunny days to the pain every month. We shuffled on for .8 of a mile, but by the .6 mile mark, my legs were ready to give out from under me, because of how weak and tired I still was from the endo. My husband wondered if my adrenal glands are considered to be under attack each time the endo hits, because of a discussion someone had at work – saying that when the adrenal glands are suffering, a person can feel really weak and tired. I told him I’m sure my adrenals are under attack, as I’m pretty sure they’re part of the endocrine system, which the ovaries are also a part of. I told him it is an interesting thought, and that I shall have to see what research studies and medical papers are out there discussing the adrenals and endo.

When we got back from our walk, I had to get right back into bed I was so exhausted. I spent the rest of the evening finishing up a site redesign I promised myself I would do during this endo downtime. The result is a new look for my Living With Endometriosis main site. Hopefully more navigable and less cluttered!

livingwithendowebsitelimauorange-themeold theme

livingwithendowebsitetimeless-themenew theme

 
Today I was hesitant but I went in to work anyway. I was in a lot of low back pain for much of the day – it began easing up the more I moved around, thankfully. So I got through today on 600mg Ibuprofen alone, and I’m back to spotting. Barring no further bloody cylon attacks tonight, I’ll declare tomorrow the official setting of the clock for next cycle countdown.
Tonight I have some laundry and dishes to do, so I can’t just crawl back into bed, much as I want to. I’m so exhausted.

Another sunny weekend lost to the pain

George arrived really late Wednesday night and spent the next 18 hours spotting before ramping up the bleeding and pain, so I was able to work on Thursday. That night, the pain and bleeding ramped up, and I spent Friday at home bedridden with heavy flow and cramps.

Today I woke with minimal cramps and although the flow was still heavy, I was able to go get my CPR/First Aid certification class out of the way for work. Two times during the day, I came close to calling it quits – I seriously thought about asking my husband to come pick me up – but I stayed strong and got through the day on half a Tylenol 3 and 600mg Ibuprofen gel caps.

I felt like I was in the bathroom every ten minutes all damned day.

The pain did not ramp up again until dinnertime, when it began to jump up faster than I could think to get my medication down. I was left near tears, waiting for a whole Tylenol 3 to kick in.

Once the medicine did kick in, I became more stoned than I usually am. Interesting, dunno why that happened, but the end result is that the pain abated for nearly two hours before a fresh attack occurred, this time a sudden piercing stab to the left ovary which made me shriek, leap off my bed and clutch myself.

I’m so exhausted. Going to bed, now.

I video blogged what I could, since I don’t usually do vids of me in pain.
Next time I’ll zoom in on the camera if I’m going to do the whole video in the mirror thing again, heh.

Thankful

George has not shown up yet today. Because of his tardiness, I was able to get in another full day of work. :)

Upon waking, I did have some pain, and was sure that by the time I was to leave for work, I’d be in full blown pain.

Instead, I was feeling annoyingly bloated, having low level cramps, and feeling like I might burst into tears at any moment. I went to work, because it was too late to arrange for a substitute teacher. I went in thinking I’d have to turn right back around within an hour.

While waiting for the parents to begin the drive-in drop-off at the school, I stood in silence, taking in the nice sunny morning. It was mostly cloudy but I could still see enough of the blue sky and feel the sun on my face. I stared at the trees in the lots surrounding the school, and I just wanted to cry my eyes out, and I could not explain to myself just why. Hello, PMS.

Although I think part of it is that I expect routine from my illness, and when it deviates, it messes with my head. When the pain is absent for too many days, I actually get hopeful – I envision my illness just vanishing, and I wonder how long it would take for me to really believe it and TRUST being pain-free. Not being bedridden today when I thought I would be gave me some hope that perhaps this cycle won’t be as harsh, and maybe it won’t even be painful at all. But 24 years of cyclical endometriosis pain seems to laugh at that notion.

Just after 9am, the pain was enough that I took what Ibuprofen I had on me – 400mg gelcaps – and waited for the “real pain” to arrive.

I was super tired for most of the day, but the pain never got above a 4 on the scale. :)

All day I have had fierce sugar cravings, and I’ve had to keep my attitude and my anxiety in check all day, because of the PMS. I swear, if I’m not experiencing pain before my period, I’m experiencing really bad PMS! I will take that over pain though!

After work, I went to my acupuncturist appointment. I was super tired, forgetful, and dazed, but not in pain! I got treatment points in the feet, legs, pelvis, left wrist, hands and ears, then after that treatment, I received treatment points in the lower back, since that’s where a lot of my pain has actually been in the past week.

When I got home, I was still feeling tired, but not as tired as I’d been before the acupuncture appointment. With a little coaxing, I convinced myself to get some housework done with this extra time on my hands.

Because george was late, I was able to work an entire shift today, go to my acupuncture appointment, fold and put away five blankets and a slew of clean towels, unload the dishwasher and load it back up again, and wash some stuff that can’t go into the dishwasher. I also cooked up some gluten-free, yeast-free pizzas for me and my husband.

All that, on a day I was supposed to be bedridden. :)

So despite my crazy emotions, I really am thankful to have had one more day without george.