Visit to underworld imminent

I was able to enjoy one more night out on the town before calling it quits and admitting to my body shutting down for the next cycle of pain.

Friday April 9, I think I stayed home, cuz all day at work I had been really tired and had low back pain. I had gone to bed at 9pm the night before, and had to be at work much earlier than usual (6:50am vs. 11am earlier that week), so I’m sure some of the fatigue was just because I had to get up so early.

Saturday, my husband and I took a jaunt over to the other side of the Bay and I got an impromptu hair cut to get back the bangs I’ve been missing:

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Later that evening, we had dinner and discussed what to do that night. My husband wanted to see Rocky Horror Picture Show, but another friend who planned to go with us fell ill. That’s when another friend called and said she and her husband were throwing a hotel party for their one year wedding anniversary. We met up with them for a couple hours in their super awesome Death Star-like suite, then like the rock stars we are, we jetted off to Club Gossip, an 80’s club night, where another friend was having Part One of her birthday weekend celebration.
No pix to share from that night, sorry!

On Sunday, I slept in, and while stretching in bed to wake up, I “blew an ovary”. I swear, that’s what it felt like. I cried out, went fetal and clutched myself, whimpering for a couple minutes. I had right side ovarian and uterine pain for the next two hours. I took it easy on the couch for at least that long. Ugh.
By late Sunday afternoon, I felt well enough to start laundry, but of course, the pelvic pain returned. I pushed through it. I did do three loads of laundry, dangit. My husband and I also went grocery shopping, I cleaned out the fridge, and got some vacuuming done, all despite the pain, which was at a 4 on the scale.

Speaking of pain scales, I’ve been using the Mankoski pain scale, developed by Andrea Mankoski, who also suffers from pelvic pain and did a beautiful service to women by providing a more rational scale than the one normally used by doctors and emergency rooms.

However, I think it may be time for me to turn to another revised pain scale, developed by Allie Brosh, who, when I wrote to her, admitted that she too suffers from endometriosis.

I LOVE her pain scale!

Today I have been at a 4.5 on the Mankoski pain scale, or a 3.5 on the Brosh scale. Here is what 3.5 on Allie Brosh’s scale looks like:

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I needed 600mg of Ibuprofen gel-caps to get through work today, and every time I sit down or lean over, I end up stuck in that position and the pain sets in immediately. I have to move really slowly to try to straighten my back out.
All day today I have felt like I am out of breath. This is “normal” for me when I’m about to be stricken with another endometriosis flare. I call it a flare because I do not suffer symptoms full time – just around the time of my menstrual cycle.

I have also been suffering from anxiety today, despite the fact that groceries are purchased and bills are paid. Oh and yesterday, I thought I might tear my husband’s head off over things that probably don’t normally make me upset. I say probably because right now I have no idea. Who am I again?
Maybe it’s the impending New Moon. Maybe it’s the impending Mercury Retrograde. Maybe it’s the cold, rainy Pacific winter that won’t leave, yet. It rained all day today.
Or maybe it’s just that my hormones are completely whacked because of endometriosis. I need to start drinking the specially prescribed Chinese herbal tea again, now that I’m heading into the next cycle.

Well shit. It’s 8pm. Gotta get some XXTREME NESTING type cleaning done, as well as some cooking, before I attempt to crawl in to work tomorrow.

I had 10 good days!!

I’m so excited! I went TEN WHOLE DAYS WITHOUT PAIN!!!

I didn’t even feel mittelschmerz this month!

Here’s what I did with the healthy uptime:

March 28-31 – I got stuff done around the house, and went to work and ran errands – just the usual.

Thursday April 1 –       I saw Assemblage 23 in concert.

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Friday April 2 – I went dancing.

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Saturday April 3 – I went dancing again!

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Sunday April 4 – I rested, ate gluten-free pizza and watched the street flood from a rainstorm.

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Monday April 5 – I went dancing *again* but by this time, my knees were mad at me and my body in general was really starting to get fatigued.
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Tuesday April 6 – I didn’t have to work until 11am because it’s spring break week, and a lot of us aren’t on a full schedule this week. Our landlady was having our windows replaced, however, so the first part of my morning consisted of me walking around in a dust mask because it had become too hard to breathe with all the construction dust.
Health-wise, I realised I was beginning the downward slide – I began to feel bloated, and experienced mild, intermittent cramping. My knees continued to hurt from all the exercise I’ve been getting. ;)

 
Wednesday April 7 – I didn’t have to work, so I spent half the day hunting down dark humour comics to put on my website.

I then went to another concert – I saw Faith & The Muse and Sunshine Blind – two bands from the 1990s that I adored, and still do!

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Faith & The Muse
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Sunshine Blind

 
I finally remembered to wear my knee braces, and that helped a bit with the knee pain, but within a couple of hours at the club, my lower back got angry with me. I popped a half of a Tylenol 3.
Halfway through the Faith & The Muse set, I was near tears from low back pain and mounting pelvic pain, but I stubbornly refused to walk off the floor.
During one of the brief exits by the band, I popped a whole Tylenol 3.
By the time Sunshine Blind took the stage as the special guest band, the drugs were starting to kick in, which allowed me to enjoy the show and dance a bit.
The dancing of course made the cramps angrier, and by the time we left the club, I was grunting in pain again.

This morning I woke groggy and went to work – another 11am start time, thankfully. I have been super tired for most of the day, and I have had intermittent stabbing uterine pain. I have not taken any more medication, but I will do so before bed.

One thing I realised that might have set off my pelvic pain is that since I’ve been going out to the clubs so much, I’ve been ordering Shirley Temples to drink. I wanted to have SOMETHING to drink because I have omitted alcohol from my diet – I’ve been dry for 98 days! :)
But that something has corn syrup in it. I knew that and drank it anyway. Either it’s just downtime again or the corn syrup in all those Shirley Temples over the past week have instigated early cramping. So now I go back to only water, or finding some other beverage to drink at the clubs. I learn from it and move on.

So that’s my update – overall it’s been awesome and my only regret is the poor choice of beverage with all my recent outings. I’m SO glad to have had a combination of good health and later starting hours at work to allow me to go out as often as I have been. :)

Oh! And my weight is down to 159lbs!

Doing better

My last post was in the wee hours of Saturday – 1am – before going to bed for the night.

Saturday afternoon we decided to go hiking because the weather was absolutely gorgeous – sunny and in the 70’s fahrenheit. My husband chose Purisima Creek in the hills above Redwood City. These hills overlook the Pacific Ocean on one side, and the valley of the San Francisco Bay Area on the other side.

As it happened, Saturday was also the clearest day I’ve seen in a long time, so the view was extra special spectacular.

I did have pain on and off during the hike, but it never got as bad as the pain less than 24 hours earlier. I thought about taking ibuprofen or half a Tylenol 3 to knock out the pain before it could get worse, but I didn’t want to slow myself down further by getting tired from the meds, so I was stubborn and didn’t take the meds. I’m glad I didn’t.

The only two times I wanted to cry on the hike were not due to pelvic pain but to knee pain! We were on our way back, after we’d been hiking for an hour, and we were walking up hill. The pain and fatigue in my knees (which are arthritic) was almost too much to bear at times. I rested a lot. But we made it safely back to our car before sunset (when the mountain lions come out!).

We made it back into town in time to join our friend for his sushi birthday dinner, and drinks at the local tiki bar afterwards. I even went home after dinner and changed my clothes for the tiki outing. ;)

Quite a long day for someone who was seriously ill just four days before that, with residual pain for days!

I am a warrior woman. I rock the house and bring it down, y0. ;)

Photos of our hike are here:

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I even made a video for my endo sistas:

 
Photos of our friend’s birthday evening are here:

 

Friday update

I was able to go back to work on Wednesday. I had minor pelvic pain and was spotting. I was slow moving and tired of course, being that I’d spent the previous four days hopped up on Tylenol 3 and Ibuprofen for all the pain. I survived the day at work, assisted by a total of 1,200mg of Ibuprofen. On my lunch break, I was asked if I could come back that evening for after hours daycare – I said yes because I’d already missed the previous two days of work and felt that I needed the money. It’s hard because my husband makes $80K/yr. I currently make about $18K/yr. That seems like quite a lot of money just from my husband’s income alone, right?
If we only existed on his income though, it would hurt in the state of California, which is quite expensive where we live (Bay Area). I keep saying we should move back to Michigan but one, there’s a lot fewer jobs, two, there’s snow, and three, my native-California-born husband is terrified of Michigan, calling it a cross between Deliverance and Blair Witch Project.
And so here we are, living in sunny California, and I am in my first year as a Montessori teacher, working for peanuts to add to my husband’s income so that we can live comfortably.
Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t NOT work. I’m too much of a spazz to be left on my own all day. I just couldn’t do the housewife thing.

On Thursday, I got moderate pelvic stabbing pain beginning after 4pm (thankfully after I was out of work). I was still spotting bright red, and began to seriously wonder if the last gasp hadn’t occurred on Tuesday and was laying in wait.
Thankfully, I was wrong. The last gasp had in fact happened on Tuesday. What I was experiencing on Thursday was probably due to not having slept well Wednesday night, working a full day on Thursday, complete with a lice outbreak I discovered at the school and me having to be the one to inspect the entire rest of the class’ heads for lice because the head teacher was too wigged out to continue class at that point (thankfully, only the one child had it and was sent home immediately)….and after all that I zoomed across the Bay Bridge to try to make it to my friend’s arbitration meeting in time, and I got a bit lost on San Francisco’s rush hour streets. Just a wee bit of anxiety that day…

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate driving in San Francisco?

I really hate driving in San Francisco.

I guess I could have taken the BART to The City and walked from the station to the arbitration appointment.

Have I ever mentioned my fear of taking public transit alone?

I really hate taking public transit alone, because I’m afraid I’ll get lost. Getting lost as a pedestrian is even more terrifying to me than being lost while driving.

I got through Thursday but came this close to a panic attack after it was all said and done. I nearly ended my sobriety, but thought the better of it and made myself some bedtime tea when I got home. More and more, my body is rejecting the things I’ve loved to eat and drink, be it through allergies or be it through hormonal imbalance setting off more pelvic pain. I can’t really go back to drinking wine or liquor because of the immediate side effects from sulfites, glutens, bad distillation, immediate ovarian and/or uterine cramping (mild but enough to make me uncomfortable)…it all makes it worthwhile to just stay sober for once in my life. I spent too many years as a weekend lush, out at the nightclubs, drinkin and dancin til I blacked out. Yeesh.

I didn’t get to bed til 11:30pm last night, and I didn’t want to get up for work today, because my head teacher was out of town and I knew I’d have to run the entire class on my own.
I did it though! I did it! I managed 17 first and second graders through their scheduled curriculum today, woohoo! And they behaved well for the most part!

At the close of the day today, I was suffering headache because I hadn’t had time to eat lunch, and I hadn’t been drinking enough water. My low and mid back were screaming in pain as well, probably because I was so nervous at having to run the entire class on my own with occasional help when the afternoon supervisor had time from her busy duties. All the teachers are stretched at this school right now. I’m thankful I had help at all. Another teacher came in towards the end of the day and took some papers for grading off my hands. I need to get that woman a gift for that.

So I am sitting here on the couch, my first day no longer spotting. I am still hugely tired and cannot go near a gym until at least Sunday. I am still freezing my ass off, even though it is 70°F in the house.
Despite that, I declare Friday, March 26, 2010 the day I START THE CLOCK for the next cycle, because I’m no longer in pelvic pain, and no longer spotting enough to wear a pad.

The clock is set; I have 18 – 19 days before the next cylon attack bedridden time.

It is the weekend – a weekend I will get to enjoy because I will not be bedridden! Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and 71°F. Ahhh, bliss.

Still not well enough to return to work

The old guilt is back again, because I have to take another day off work for the pain. Let’s back up a day though, so I can catch you up on Monday.

I knew Sunday night I wouldn’t be in any shape to go into work on Monday, so I’d made the necessary calls. The pain woke me up before 8am on Monday, and I had to cram food down my throat to line my stomach in order to take my pills. I started off with one and a half Tylenol 3 first thing in the morning because of the pain. I had decided that due to the pain level (8.5 on the scale), I would be better off in bed than on the couch with the laptop. My husband was getting ready for work and was off in the shower. Me being impatient, I decided to set up for a day in bed despite being in a lot of pain. I was clutching a heating pad with one hand and moving blankets and such with my other hand. I decided this would actually make a great video – detailing that it’s hard work on a person in pain just to set up for a day in bed if one still wanted to have a connection to the outside world. I did a video outtake and settled into bed, exhausted. I think I fell back to sleep at that point, I can’t remember.

Within the first few hours in bed, my lower back and buttocks decided they could not take the pain of sitting in bed. I moved to my computer chair at that point. This is unusual – my body normally cannot handle sitting upright when I’m in so much pain. But the lower back really needed the support of a chair.

I spent much of the day wrestling with iMovie ’09 on the laptop before launching iMovie ’05 on my desktop machine and figuring that out much faster than iMovie ’09. I had created a video back in February to update everyone on the past year of my life – it’s been that long since I uploaded any videos to youtube!! And now it’s taken another month on top of that to figure out all the edits I wanted to do for the movie. The end result is that I’m getting much better at making videos.

I ended up taking three Tylenol 3 and 600mg Ibuprofen over the course of the day, yesterday. I stayed as constantly medicated as I could. By the time I went to bed late last night, the bleeding and the pain had subsided. My kidneys were throbbing from all the Tylenol and Ibuprofen I’d fed them.

This morning I woke up with a headache and stuffed up ears, full body sore joints, and a feeling of dread in my pelvis. I ate some leftover pancakes, drank some goat milk, took a half a Tylenol 3 and 600mg Ibuprofen and called in sick to work, expecting the worst. And then extreme fatigue claimed me and I crawled back into bed and slept for another three and a half hours.

The pain woke me at 11:48am. I cooked some leftover yummy Thai food my neighbor had brought me yesterday out of the kindness of her heart (my inner Southerner says “bless her soul”), and before I could eat, the bleeding and pain started up again as I knew it would.

I’m on round 2 of a half Tylenol 3. The joint pain is still flaring, and my legs are bloated to the point of feeling very sore from the thighs to the ankles, and especially under the knees. The bleeding didn’t get as heavy as I thought it would, and the pelvic pain didn’t get as bad as I thought it would. It spiked at about a 7 and is now down to 5.5 on the scale.

My guilty conscience says with pain at a 5.5 on the scale, I could have gone in to work. But then I snap out of the guilt and remind myself that I’m still on Tylenol 3 and Ibuprofen to manage said pain, that’s WHY it’s at a 5.5 on the scale. AND I’m not stooping and bending, kneeling, sitting and walking like I would have to do at work. So I can cut the guilt crap out RIGHT NOW. I don’t work no desk job anymore.

So that’s where it’s at today. I wish the waiting lists weren’t so long at the dispensaries to get free reiki or body work done. I would LOVE a full body massage right now. Le sigh.
Maybe I’ll find enough strength to scrub out the tub to take a hot bubble bath.

Oh – side note – I’m back on the herbal powder my acupuncturist gave me. We decided to give it another try, see if my body has reactions to it. So far so good. I’ve been drinking it 3x/day using a teaspoon of the powdered herbs. As for other pain management, I’m still doing large hip circles, slow stretches, and basic yoga poses.

Lastly – the weather. This is the third sunny day I have missed enjoying during this cycle due to the pain.

Today is the first bedridden day

I woke after six and a half hours of sleep with the need to use the bathroom. I wasn’t in much pain.
The moment my uterus and bladder emptied, the searing pain began. I really wish my uterus was able to let the menstrual blood out during the night, instead of holding it inside as well as my bladder holds urine. Because the uterus was distended with fluid, it pressed down on my bladder. Because a large endometriosis implant (left in at time of surgery three years ago, because the surgeon was too afraid to get to it) rests on the ultra thin tissue wall which lies between uterus and bladder, the endometriosis lesions press upon the bladder, setting off the bladder’s pain receptors. Once the uterus and bladder distend and then deflate …

33 minutes later…

The pain got to be a 9 on the scale, which meant I could no longer type. I had been eating food so that I could take medication, but the pain ramped up fast. I took one and a half Tylenol 3 pills and staggered to get my heating pads. By the time I got back to the couch with one warmed heating pad, my husband had awakened and was assisting me in warming a second heating pad. I was in too much pain to talk, to do breathing exercises properly, to do anything but sit there with knitted eyebrows and gaping mouth. And then I remembered how pretty I looked just one week ago when we went out dancing, and I know how old and haggard I look right now from the pain. I began crying at that point.

I realised too that I’d let a lapse of medication occur overnight again. That’s why I’m in so much pain this morning. I woke around 7am or 8am to use the bathroom, and wasn’t in much pain, so my rationale at the time was to not damage my liver and kidneys further – give them a rest – and just go back to bed.
Had I taken the goddamned cocktail of Tylenol 3 and Ibuprofen like I was supposed to, I’d not be in severe pain. There’s nothing to discuss – my kidneys and liver will continue to be damaged – there’s no way to stop that. It is mandatory that I be in a drugged stupor from start to finish of each menstrual cycle, else suffer the pain consequences equivalent to going through labor and giving birth dry, with no meds or assistance.

The pain is about a 7.5 on the scale, now. And I’m drugged silly. Going to add some Ibuprofen to the 1.5 Tylenol 3 I just took, since ibu is anti-inflammatory.

To give you a visual of what pain does to a person:


This was me on March 15, 2010


This is me today, March 21, 2010

And today is the second day of Spring. The weather is 58°F with hazy sunshine. I won’t be seeing a drop of it.

Impatient and frustrated

I’m still convinced the horrible pain I was in last Saturday was a ruptured ovarian cyst, because the bleeding took so long to begin this cycle, and it’s very thick and dark. I slept for about nine hours and woke at 12:30pm yesterday. I was still barely spotting and was not experiencing a lot of pelvic pain. I should have been jumping for joy, right?

Instead, I began fretting over Time.
I was due on Friday. I’m usually on time. Descending to the underworld full speed ahead Friday morning would have meant that by Sunday night, most of the pain and despair would be over with, and I’d have a good chance of returning to work on Monday.

But no. The pain and bleeding ramped up late Saturday afternoon, so that means I have Saturday night and all day Sunday to get this endometriosis cycle out of the way before Monday 8am.

Fat chance.

I hate taking time off work every goddamned month for this illness.

I’ve been fired from two jobs because of this illness, and although I’m assured on the current job that I’m special, needed and wanted despite my illness, I still suffer the PTSD from those two other jobs. One harassed me for months before firing me. One harassed me for a couple of weeks – I quit 2 days before they were to fire me cuz someone leaked it to me.

I hate that I barely make enough money to even try pulling any financial weight around the house. Missing work gives me that much less money to work with. It may as well be babysitting money. I cannot cope with not being able to go halfsies like my husband and I used to do. He assures me it’s fine – that he’s so happy to see my sanity restored by working with kids again instead of in corporate hell. He keeps gushing about seeing all the kids that ran up to the fence Friday afternoon to say goodbye to me as I left work for the weekend. I call them my fan club. ;)

And those poor kids – I currently assist a class of mixed first and second graders. One of their teachers has been out sick for over a month – she’s got something serious and the staff’s not talking much about it. Could be cancer, could be lupus – it’s definitely taken out her immune system and she’s been having surgeries. I spent 3 weeks in that class with the co-teacher, and now I might be out sick for a day or two. The kids can’t take much more upheaval. Some of them were literally sobbing when their teacher came by for a visit Thursday afternoon, they miss her so much.

So it’s pretty obvious then – I don’t like letting people down – and having endometriosis means I will miss work, I will miss parties, I will miss appointments, I will miss out on life. I’ve been meaning to chronicle how many sunny days I lose to endometriosis in a year. It was in the 60s and mostly sunny today, and I couldn’t be out in it to walk around, bicycle, go hiking, because of the pain.
If I can make what I go through as concrete as possible to people, I think that might help quicken the pace towards a cure – more people will demand and fund more research to find a cure for endometriosis.
Education and awareness – it’s a small bit of hope I have.

T-minus 2 days

So here we are, two days before my next period – a.k.a. my next bedridden vacuum of lost time, lost fun, lost sunny warm days. It’s supposed to be in the 70s for the next several days!

But let’s go back a few days to get caught up again. I last wrote on Sunday. I was able to be intimate with my husband that morning! Amazing, after the really bad pain I was in the day before. I hung out with my husband Sunday afternoon, since he skipped band practice. It was lovely, warm and sunny outside.

Monday night, my husband and I went out dancing! We’d been looking forward to this, as it was the 17-year anniversary of our favourite goth club. It was packed and the music was good. I danced until every bone in my body ached, which didn’t take very long, and then I danced some more. What a workout!
It was about an hour into our night out when the right side ovarian stabby pain returned. I thought the night would be over, but I pushed through it. The pain was intermittent, though. Just a bit of tightening and stabbing for a few minutes every now and then. We got home sometime after 3am. I showered and went to bed, and I was up for work by 7am, because I’m insane. I only do this once a year, trust me.

Yesterday at work was painful in the sense of sleep deprivation, but I had no pelvic pain at all. Of course, I’m in all kinds of joint pain, especially my knees. I am officially diagnosed with osteoarthritis and chondromalacia patella (as a child, I was not allowed to perform certain gym activities, including any where I had to sit on my knees or bend the knees back for too long a time). The joint pain and knee pain is nothing compared to an ovarian cyst, and an ovarian cyst is similar but still not as bad as endometriosis.

There have been discussions on LiveJournal (see the comments to this post). I want to keep the discussion going, because we endo patients really do have a skewed sense of pain compared to the ‘normal’ population.

When I got home from work just before 4pm, I went to bed and didn’t get up until 9pm. I watched the latest episode of LOST with my husband at our neighbor’s house (cuz we don’t have cable, satellite or regular TV hookup by choice), and came back home and crawled right back into bed. I read for a bit before falling asleep again.

Woke up this morning in a lot of joint pain, with the added pelvic pain again. I had taken a Tylenol 3 before bed, and this morning I’m already on 600mg ibuprofen and rocking back and forth to get limber for the day. I’m doing large hip circles to loosen up the pelvic region. The pelvic pain is not ovarian – it is uterine – because I’m due to menstruate in the next 48 hours.

We’ll see how it all turns out…

Update on the premenstrual pain

Yesterday was the worst pain day, yet. I took a total of 2 Tylenol 3 plus 1,400mg Ibuprofen to get through the day yesterday. The pain was stabby and sharp at times, continuous and gnawing all of the time. I would estimate the pain was at a 7 on the pain scale all day yesterday. I had moments where it spiked to 8 on the scale. I had low grade nausea for much of the day.

Still, not wanting to have my warm sunny weekend taken away from me, I ventured out of the house to go to the post office and to the bank. Within the first 200 feet, I was grunting from the pain. Every single step was painful, but I pushed on to my car and drove to the errands I had to do. On a day like this, I should be riding the half mile to the post office and the bank, but I was in such pain that I had to drive it. When I came home, I was near tears from the pain, and that’s when I began the serious medicating for the day.

My husband drove us wherever we needed to go for the rest of the day. I did NOT want to stay indoors and lose another sunny day – I lose too many per year from chronic pelvic pain.

We went to a local dispensary to see what free services I could get under my Prop 215 card, since the cannabis is not working to lessen the pain. They have Reiki, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, and other stuff, but most of the classes are booked up, so I had to get on the waiting lists.

I think it was while we were on our way to the dispensary I suddenly realised that all this pain is likely due to an ovarian cyst, because the pain has been so focused on the right lower quadrant of my pelvic region, and has been stabby, and I had been nauseated all day.

Then we went on to our favourite coffee stop (Peerless – as opposed to Julie’s our favourite coffee and tea house – where we would actually be able to sit and stay awhile), then we went to the AT&T store to finally activate the iPhone my husband gave me so long ago. From there we went to Ikea to look for a bed frame but that was a bust. While we were at Ikea, I saw so many people in wheelchairs, and I REALLY wanted mine at that moment. Other pedestrians in the store were impatient by how slow I was walking, and would brush past me quickly. This made me want to cry, or worse, shout at them that I’m in a lot of pain and to leave me the hell alone.

I have a wheelchair but I refused to bring it with me yesterday because I’m still too proud to use it unless I’m in crying pain. Of course, when I’m in crying pain, I don’t actually leave the house, heh…so I have GOT to learn to not be embarrassed to use the wheelchair when I need it. And yesterday I really needed it.

After Ikea, we went to Endgame, then came back home, ate some dinner, and then went to a friend’s house for impromptu game night. I sat in the most comfy chair I could (a computer chair), but still was in a lot of pain, and had to get up and move around a lot.

With an ovarian cyst, the large hip circles don’t really work – in fact, I think they cause more pain.

When I got home, I had shooting pains on the left side, but higher up – like above the ovary or further. I used the bathroom and when I wiped, I found a dime-sized amount of bright yellow mucus.
This morning when I woke, I had clear, thick, abundant vaginal discharge, and I am no longer in any pelvic pain.

For me, I think this means I really did have an ovarian cyst, and it ruptured late last night.

Here’s hoping the pain is done and I get a few pain-free days before Friday, when my period is due!

Last gasp

Hopefully today was what my husband calls The Last Gasp – it’s when the pain and bleeding had gone away overnight, but returns with a vengeance the next day. That day was today.

The bleeding had gone away and hadn’t returned after my walk last night, even though the pain had returned a bit, and my legs were wobbly. I went to bed and slept soundly.

I woke this morning to horrible low back pain – enough to make me whimper. I got up around 8:30am and puttered around the house, doing slow stretches to try to loosen everything up.

I was dismayed to find that Chile had a 8.8 earthquake, which set off tsunami advisories and warnings throughout the Pacific region. While I was searching for live streaming info on the web about my region, as well as internet friends in Hawaii, my legs began to feel weak.

I got up off the couch and began massaging my lower back/kidneys. I did some more slow stretches. Then I needed to go to the bathroom. I had a bowel movement, which thankfully wasn’t too constipated.

I went to the kitchen and microwaved some leftover pancakes for breakfast. I poured some YoBaby apple yoghurt on top of the pancakes. I made some herbal tea from my acupuncturist, but I never got to drink it.

While I was eating the pancakes, the pain and bleeding resumed. All night and all morning, I had been dry – no bleeding, and no pelvic pain. I stood up and began doing slow large hip circles. I began breathing exercises.

The pain ramped up.

I started shoveling the food into my mouth so that I could take my medication. By the time I finished my food and was shoving a whole Tylenol 3 into my mouth, I was shaking from the pain. That’s about the time my husband woke up. I was pacing around the house and talking to him with a high pitch to my voice, teeth clenched. Within minutes, I was on my back on the couch, instructing my husband to help me with pressure points.
We couldn’t find the right points in the inner knees, so he tried my ankles, the bottom of my feet, and I held the points on my ears. The pressure seemed to help when my husband held the bottom of my feet. The points in my ears helped, too, but these didn’t help for very long. I told my husband I felt nauseous, but I needed more Tylenol 3. I took a half a pill on top of the whole pill I’d recently consumed.

The pain was so bad, but when I cried, tears didn’t come out. I went and sat on the toilet, and began moaning through gritted teeth. My eyes went vacant. At this point, I realised I’d hit a 9 on the pain scale.

I came back from the bathroom and tried to engage my husband in conversation to keep me from going mad from the pain. We talked about the tsunami warnings and other stuff. I yelped in pain pretty often, but carried on conversation so I wouldn’t go crazy. I had the heating pads on me, but I couldn’t get comfortable on the couch. I leaned over the arm of the couch with the heating pads on my lower back, until my calves felt like they were going to give out from the standing.

Finally, the drugs kicked in, and I became very tired. I settled onto the couch and my husband sat with me until I fell asleep. Then he went to work on stuff for his band, and eventually had to go to the studio to confer with the rest of the band on the tracks they’ve recorded.

I have spent the day continually drugged on Tylenol 3. The bleeding subsided again around 7pm, and so I decided to take a hot epsom salt bath. But first, I had to scrub out the tub, and I was still in pain, and my husband still wasn’t home.

This is a problem. But yet, I fought through the pain and scrubbed the damned tub, the shower doors and the shower walls, still streaked with husband’s hair dye. Once it was all clean, I was able to take a nice half-hour bath.

After the bath, the bleeding did not ramp up again, thankfully. I’m hoping today was the last of the cycle.

The pain has been really severe this cycle. Two things happened:
#1: Last Sunday night, I took a Monistat-1 treatment for a yeast infection caused by taking antibiotics for the sinus infection. By Monday morning my inner labia had swelled up really badly, and everything in that area burned. I showered and saw a doctor who examined me externally and said I’d have to ride it out. He suggested I soak in the tub. I came home that afternoon and told my husband I needed to soak in the tub, but did not have the energy to do a massive scrubbing of said tub.
Uh, apparently neither did he, and he didn’t care, because the tub did not get scrubbed. I did not ask him directly, “could you be a dear and scrub the tub for me?” – I just assumed he’d be a gent and see that I needed help and do this for me. But after nine years with this man, I should know better than that. I have to ask. Asking hurts my pride. It’s a cycle I need to break out of.

Late Monday afternoon, I began bleeding. At first I thought it was my period, but I had no cramps, and the bleeding and debris was light in flow and colour.

#2: I began taking the specially prepared tea from my acupuncturist – 1tsp up to three times a day. I saw her last Thursday, and she did treatment mainly for my sinus infection, but had also done some cupping on my lower back, which I’m convinced brought on some minor cramping Thursday night and into Friday.

Anyway, the light bleeding and debris lasted until Wednesday, when my actual period, complete with heavy bleeding, clotting and cramping started. I continued taking the tea.

I noticed that the pain this time around feels like a bladder infection. I stopped taking the tea last night and took 600mg ibuprofen on top of the Tylenol 3, and the bladder pain eased.

I resumed the tea this afternoon AFTER I had gone through a really bad spell of cramps this morning, and the bladder pain resumed. Could it be the cattail in the tea?

I cannot say for sure if it’s the tea or lingering side effects/damage from the Monistat.

I still feel gutted. I’m still getting sharp pelvic and bladder pains. I’m worried the Monistat did some damage. I’ll need to hire a new gynecologist this week, because Dr. Lisa Bernard-Pearl just retired from the practice this month, and I’ve not been able to see a new gyn, yet. I’ll just phone up anyone in that office and ask to be seen ASAP.

I keep feeling like today is Sunday. I’m so glad I have another day to recover before the work week begins again.

So far this weekend I missed a mostly sunny day today and two parties tonight because of the endometriosis.

Sour grapes – I didn’t wanna go out, anyway.